Hypno's "me, me, me, me, me," diary.....

savingholmes

hi hypno - sorry about the valuation. House prices will go up again tho - and probably with a bang at some point so I am sure things wil improve longer term - sucks for now tho!

I think you are right to create a space just for you and the kids - postpone having students or anything similar until after the dust has settled.... You can and will get thro this - go back and read your earlier diaries if necessary - to read how strong you are....

Still - scheduling "me time" is essential to your ability to keep going and providing for your family - so not selfish at all. So what's your treat this month?

InaPickle

hypno06 wrote: »

It's just so pants.....I don't WANT students again, I don't WANT to be struggling and having to think about camping or housesitting being our options for holidays.

I was supposed to be debt free in just a few short months.....I was supposed to be thinking about a fab holiday for us, for a change, I was supposed to be able to start enjoying life rather than struggling through from day to day.

But someone, who I thought wanted all the same things, had different ideas.

The title of this diary, I thought, reflected the element of "selfishness" that I was hoping to introduce (in a positive way). How wrong I was

We know. And it sucks. And that's not being selfish - it's just being disappointed that the goalposts have been moved after so long believing that you finally knew where they were. I would feel the same way, too.

I know that's not very helpful but if I were you I would just go off and sulk for a few days. And eat chocolate. I know it's not constructive, but at least it will give you some time to regroup a bit before coming back to sort it all out. Take some Hypno time and stick two fingers up at it all. You might just feel marginally better!

beanielou

If anyone can make it work then you can.
Huggles hun xx

hypno06

savingholmes wrote: »

hi hypno - sorry about the valuation. House prices will go up again tho - and probably with a bang at some point so I am sure things wil improve longer term - sucks for now tho!

It's not about the value per se - as I am not trying to access the capital, or to sell the house and use the equity as deposit......I'm not really bothered about what the house is worth - it is the place where we live, and that's all.

It's about the fact that this is supposed to be a "paper" exercise - taking the barclayloan out of the equation, which is fair enough, all I am asking them to do is to take OH name off the mortgage. Because it is all fixed rate, they have admitted the "product" remains the same - I'm not looking for a new term, a new rate, or anything different. The value of the property shouldn't really affect it because nothing is changing.

But they are saying that I have to go through an application process - pay for the privilege, pay for the survey, just to stay with the same product that I am locked into for the next 4 years!!! They agree that I can afford it.....they agree that I am a "good risk".....but they don't agree that I can actually have that piece of paper, because that's all that it is, that says so!

I don't really care what house prices do in the next few months or years - I'm not planning to move now.

What I am planning to do is to get on with life, to make the best of a crappy situation - but other people seem to have other ideas for me, and it feels like they are playing a game to see just how far they can push me, just how much I can deal with, before I say enough's enough.

I KNOW that I am being irrational, I KNOW that I can like it or lump it. And I also know that I am tired, hacked off, and that I really should just shut up before I hack everyone else off too.

beanielou

hypno06 wrote: »

It's just so pants.....I don't WANT students again, I don't WANT to be struggling and having to think about camping or housesitting being our options for holidays.

I was supposed to be debt free in just a few short months.....I was supposed to be thinking about a fab holiday for us, for a change, I was supposed to be able to start enjoying life rather than struggling through from day to day.

But someone, who I thought wanted all the same things, had different ideas.

The title of this diary, I thought, reflected the element of "selfishness" that I was hoping to introduce (in a positive way). How wrong I was

I know how hard it is from that point of view but dont go there as it will truely drive you nuts. I try try try not to think about the fact would be mortgage free, nearly debt free, blah blah.
Keep strong,

mrs_robinson_3

Dear Hypno

Have just caught up with your diary and am so very sorry at the turn of events. Your OH is clearly mad to be doing this and he will never cope without you. You, on the other hand, will, because you are big and clever and strong and massively courageous, not to mention endlessly encouraging and patient with baby MSE'ers like me. And you're a brill role model for your kids.

Sending all love your way

Mrs R

liloandstitch

Hypno, have you tried appealing the decision? I dont know how much discretion they have these days - when I was a Manager we had loads, but I know a lot has been taken away. The point is they have already leant you this money. If you did not alter the mortgage names, they have taken on the mortgage risk already, it already exceeds 75% - or whatever figure they have decided on. The key point for me is that they have no problem with you as a borrower and you can accept not borrowing more. I would certainly take it further with them, and take it to the complaints department, with the key point that they have already lent you this money. Your debt, whether it is in joint or single names, is already exceeding their debt to valuation ratio. They are looking to improve their own situation at your expense - to fail to take over the secured loan in these circumstances is just feathering their own nest and maximising profits. This is definately worth taking further.

You have been given the standard 'computer says no' answer, and this needs to be reviewed by a person in the underwriting department. They are getting round it by you are 'borrowing more money' - but you are not you are consolidating their own loan (which is probably at a higher rate, which is why it is not in their interests).

I would certainly push to get your costs refunded as you have been seriously mislead.

HTH. It is a while since I worked for them, but this is shameful and diabolical.

Lilo

hypno06

She's been through to the underwriters, and we've appealed to the valuer (who I think is wrong in his valuation judging by house prices round here, but who says he is not wrong) and both still say no, so I am stuck with the decision.

It's not all about the decision though - I can work through it, like everything else. It's just the "having been put in that situation" that I am angry about, I suppose. OH walks away, and I'm left to deal with everything. That's the bit I suppose I am really upset about - the Halifax are a bank - what should I expect (!), but my husband of 20 years, the father of my two children.....well, I expected something different.

In_my_dreams

So sorry to hear your news Hypno, I really am gutted for you, it must feel like another kick in the teeth but I know that you will get back up and keep fighting. It's good to cry and scream and get it out as it will make you stronger.

I read about how your OH can't help out and forgive me if I'm being completely thick, could you leave his name on the mortgage/house until the property market improves or were you changing the mortgage to make the finances better without his salary? I'm sure you've explained it somewhere so sorry if I'm repeating things to you.

Sending you big hugs anyway, I feel for you so much being let down by someone who you were planning things with for when you were debt free. Reading that really made me feel very sad for you.

If I had a galaxy now I'd cyber it over for you xx

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

It's just so pants.....I don't WANT students again, I don't WANT to be struggling and having to think about camping or housesitting being our options for holidays.

I was supposed to be debt free in just a few short months.....I was supposed to be thinking about a fab holiday for us, for a change, I was supposed to be able to start enjoying life rather than struggling through from day to day.

But someone, who I thought wanted all the same things, had different ideas.

The title of this diary, I thought, reflected the element of "selfishness" that I was hoping to introduce (in a positive way). How wrong I was

hypno06 wrote: »

It's not all about the decision though - I can work through it, like everything else. It's just the "having been put in that situation" that I am angry about, I suppose. OH walks away, and I'm left to deal with everything. That's the bit I suppose I am really upset about - the Halifax are a bank - what should I expect (!), but my husband of 20 years, the father of my two children.....well, I expected something different.

I know it's hard, but it is important to try to avoid being bitter.

Ultimately, the bitterness just affects you, not him and it becomes like a stigmata that you carry on you.

Really sorry you're having to go through this.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: