Day 1... where will it lead

Igamogam

LexieLou wrote: »

Will this journey ever end??? it feels relentless and body consuming. I possibly am becoming depressed again about this ( was very sick a few years ago) or else am very hormonal. Plus my mother isn't helping.


Me xx

Saw you post on the DF roll of Honour thread so came and sought you out here - not stalking honest! You have done remarkably well so far and have shifted a huge amount of debt, looking at your signature so dont beat yourself up about it! Keep going and yes a payment a day is a great way of getting your debts down however small that payment is and if you havent seen it there is a thread on here to do just that. Good luck!

pumpkinlife

If I understand right, you have paid off over 2/3rds of your debts in 3 1/2 years. Well done, that is an amazing achievement! You will get there, stick at it and keep doing everything you are already doing! You will have days where you feel you can't go any further and what's the point, but keep going. You are in a great place here with lots of people to spur you on
:T:T:T

LexieLou

Oh thank you so much...both of you, it means so much. I think I am just frustrated and am cross that i can't shimmy this whole thing on as fast as I want. It's the impatient part of me!

I'm away to job hunt...maybe I need a new employer

Lots of love

Me xx

LexieLou

Hi

Not as down as I was the other day...but still not back to my usual self. I'm still watching for signs of depression as I really don't want to slip back into that little nightmare.

The items I put on e-bay have a few watchers and a few bids....I've spied something I want to buy, don't need it, but want it...I possibly have a problem spending money, is that an addiction? All joking aside, is it really an addiction, like drugs, tobacco, alcohol? Might google that and check it out

Right off to apply for a new job, also can't believe I have said that too!

Nightmare

Be good

LL xx

LexieLou

I'm here, I'm skint, I'm away to do work before snuggling down in front of the TV tonight

LL xx

LexieLou

In the middle of applying for a new job....I can't find the words to write to say 'employ me I am fabulous'.

Sold 3 items on ebay - so delighted with that.

Might away and do this CV

Later
Love you all LLxx

LexieLou

So I applied for the job....scary...maybe I'll get it and it'll be a big fat payrise, now that would be nice.

One Ebay item is an e cheque, so have to wait for that to transfer.

Found an old mobile phone, apparently I'll get £10 for it, better than nothing so I think I'll take that and say thank you very much indeed.

Nothing else new to report,

Chat later

Me xx

LexieLou

Oh Lord, I have gone over on my OD for the 2nd time this month and I have no-one to blame but myself...I should know to carry only cash and transfer money when it needs to be transferred and not when I feel like getting around to it. Very expensive lesson learned!!

back tmmw

LL xx

LexieLou

Yeah, I think I am getting sick again. Was told today that someone had complained about me, a senior member of staff and I have spent the last hour in tears. There is so much going on right now and I have no support from my manager and I am being dragged every which way. I'm going to wait for an open appointment at the GP on Friday and go back on my anti depressants.

I so don't want to do that as it makes me think that forever more I will be dependant on them, but I need to get my head in order. My old GP once described them as being like antibiotics, you kind of just need them to re-align your brains' chemistry for a bit, just like antibiotics sort out your body when it's all scrambled up.

If I go back on these I will sleep better, have a clear head and also be able to see that in the grand scheme of things it is all just rubbish, but right now it seems the most important thing in the world to me, and it's not. I'm getting sick over office politics, which is also annoying me as the last time this happened I also got caught up in office politics and ended up very sick for 3 months and on meds for a year and a half. Reading this back, I think the problem might be that I'm the problem not work.

I'll be back

LL xx

Eager_Elephant

Oh Lexie ((( )))

I don't think you are the problem at work. It is your depression talking.

Fingers crossed you can start on the anti-d's again, there is nothing to be ashamed of. My husband has been on anti-d's for 17 years so far. We know he has a chemical inbalance and will take them forever. The way we look at it is - does it matter if he has to take 1 tablet a day for life just to keep him on an even keel - well of course it doesn't.

Have you got someone you can talk to about how you are feeling?

If you haven't I'm sure lots of us on here can support you.