No buying new toiletries etc until.....

mooomin

lynzpower wrote: »

Your posts remind me a bit of my mum who has a shopping problem ( IMO, she would never agree) she doesnt have the wherewithall to change- nor does she feel she should do. Its a long story, and probably not right here, right now, but put it this way. Ive been where your daughter is getting dragged around the shops for stuff that is not needed, and I often wish we did something fun instead.I find the amount of time devoted to shopping rather sad to be honest- as its at the expense of other more fulfilling interests, and I can feel myself following in her footsteps ( have done for a while) and I am desperately kicking against my "heritage" as I am desperat not to turn out like mum so I really have to try and keep trying.

Are you me? :rotfl:

My mum also has shopping issues. She lives in the middle of nowhere (The biggest brand shop they have is the Co-op) and when she comes to visit me it's always a Supermarket Sweep dash around the shops. We go round the shops, me carrying the bags as I have no money to buy anything even if I wanted it, and my dad sits in the car waiting to be summoned.

I have said on more than one occasion that I would like it if we could do something as a family instead of the shopping, but she wants to shop as she doesn't get to the shops often. It drives me mental, as she will spend £2-£300 in M&S and then take most of the bloody stuff back :rolleyes: It feels like such a waste when I only see them every 2-3 months or so.

I end up being dragged into it as well as she always wants to buy me things. At the moment there really is nothing that I need. I have plenty of clothes, and am about to get rid of some on Ebay as I have too many, and the things I would like to buy but can't afford (Benefit/MAC makeup) she won't buy for me as they're a "waste of money". I can't win.

Maybe this is why I'm rebelling against shopping - it did nothing but get me in acres of debt with nothing to show for it, and it's no substitute for love anyway.

*also too deep for a Sunday*

lynzpower

I end up being dragged into it as well as she always wants to buy me things. At the moment there really is nothing that I need. I have plenty of clothes, and am about to get rid of some on Ebay as I have too many, and the things I would like to buy but can't afford (Benefit/MAC makeup) she won't buy for me as they're a "waste of money". I can't win.

Uh OH- we are the same people Aside from the fact my mum lives at the junction of about 5 motorways and the most bargainous shopping ever ( chester, liverpool, manchester, bury, bolton you name it she shops there.) Dad jokes around the world in 80 shopping centres.

She often tries to buy things. My sister has jsut had a baby though so the spending is diverted onto baby ( very welcomed by skint sister, so at least thats something)

Feel your pain fresian, I feel it.

freyasmum

salesaddict wrote: »

See, now why couldn't I have done that?

I'm the same with magazines

I thought they were my only vice until this thread :rotfl:

MrsE_2

I bought some shower gel yesterday despite having 20 million bottles.

http://www.waitrose.com/shopping/homeandhousehold/umiandumispa.aspx

1/3 off in Waitrose, I couldn't resist:o

freyasmum

mineallmine wrote: »

Dermologica
I also love Dermologica Skin Prep scrub Freyasmum - it's quite a hard core stuff, some therapists say to mix it in your cleanser. If my skin is looking rough I turn to this. Its expensive but worth it. I am using at the moment the Dermologica daily gentle exfoliant. Its in a powder form (weird huh) but when added to water its a scrub, and really gentle at that. As its powder it seems to be good value for money, tis lasting for ages.
Thanks for all your tips Freyasmum, always good to read stuff like this.

It does give a good, hard scrub.

That's the thing with me, I like to 'feel' a product work. I know that chemical exfoliatants work just as well as manual ones (like skin prep scrub, and origins never a dull moment is another fab scrub, btw :A) but you just put them on and leave them.

Used to love the daily exfoliant when I was at college (hence why I have it sat in the bathroom cabinet) but it is really, really gentle.

Well done on finishing off the items

salesaddict

lynzpower wrote: »

I think you need to take a deep breath over the next few days and think about answering this question for yourself. Luckily for me,I answered "mine" a while ago about why I have such issues with money. Id imagine most of us do or did at one point or we wouldn't have ended up here on MSE. Yes I need to do this

Is this money you "have" or is it debt you are running up? debt HHow do you feel during, beginning and after spending on your "one weakness" or do you have a "number of weaknesses". ( eg clothes/ toils/travel etc)I have all the usual suspect weaknesses. It has to be something that was too expensive at full price, that is now a "bargain". At the beginning and during my pulse rate goes up I am like a woman posessed.After I feel guilty and down.

How does the idea of not spending sit with you and your identity- do you feel uncomfortable? Do you want to be SEEN to be spending or NOT SEEN - ie you do it in secret.In secret Do you JUSTIFY to yourself what you buy or do you not need to kid yourself.I kid myself What ALTERNATIVES to this sort of behaviour are there? Do you WANT to stop? What do you think stopping would be like. I do so want to stop. I actually feel terrified of stopping. This does not make sense to me but is the truth.


Rather deep for a sunday morning but Hey im in a reflective mood!
thankyou Lynz and I am sorry again for dragging down the light hearted tone of this thread:o

freyasmum

salesaddict wrote: »

lynzpower wrote: »

I think you need to take a deep breath over the next few days and think about answering this question for yourself. Luckily for me,I answered "mine" a while ago about why I have such issues with money. Id imagine most of us do or did at one point or we wouldn't have ended up here on MSE. Yes I need to do this

Is this money you "have" or is it debt you are running up? debt HHow do you feel during, beginning and after spending on your "one weakness" or do you have a "number of weaknesses". ( eg clothes/ toils/travel etc)I have all the usual suspect weaknesses. It has to be something that was too expensive at full price, that is now a "bargain". At the beginning and during my pulse rate goes up I am like a woman posessed.After I feel guilty and down.

How does the idea of not spending sit with you and your identity- do you feel uncomfortable? Do you want to be SEEN to be spending or NOT SEEN - ie you do it in secret.In secret Do you JUSTIFY to yourself what you buy or do you not need to kid yourself.I kid myself What ALTERNATIVES to this sort of behaviour are there? Do you WANT to stop? What do you think stopping would be like. I do so want to stop. I actually feel terrified of stopping. This does not make sense to me but is the truth.


Rather deep for a sunday morning but Hey im in a reflective mood!
thankyou Lynz and I am sorry again for dragging down the light hearted tone of this thread:o

I know you weren't replying to me, but don't be silly - that's what we're all here for :grouphug:

alamaya

salesaddict wrote: »

lynzpower wrote: »

I think you need to take a deep breath over the next few days and think about answering this question for yourself. Luckily for me,I answered "mine" a while ago about why I have such issues with money. Id imagine most of us do or did at one point or we wouldn't have ended up here on MSE. Yes I need to do this

Is this money you "have" or is it debt you are running up? debt HHow do you feel during, beginning and after spending on your "one weakness" or do you have a "number of weaknesses". ( eg clothes/ toils/travel etc)I have all the usual suspect weaknesses. It has to be something that was too expensive at full price, that is now a "bargain". At the beginning and during my pulse rate goes up I am like a woman posessed.After I feel guilty and down.

How does the idea of not spending sit with you and your identity- do you feel uncomfortable? Do you want to be SEEN to be spending or NOT SEEN - ie you do it in secret.In secret Do you JUSTIFY to yourself what you buy or do you not need to kid yourself.I kid myself What ALTERNATIVES to this sort of behaviour are there? Do you WANT to stop? What do you think stopping would be like. I do so want to stop. I actually feel terrified of stopping. This does not make sense to me but is the truth.


Rather deep for a sunday morning but Hey im in a reflective mood!
thankyou Lynz and I am sorry again for dragging down the light hearted tone of this thread:o

Hi Salesaddict,

Just wanted to say your not alone. I watch this thread and it helps me realise i am not the only one. I am in 36k of debt from my compulsive shopping. I have 3 boxes of partially used avon, showergels covering my bathroom. I once brought 6 hair dyes in various colours just because i knew i was dying my hair this year.

So here i am trying to sort myself out avoiding my avon book that keeps coming. embarassed i have got us into this state

Anyways dont want to bore you all anymore but just wanted to say we are all here to try and sort ourselves out and we are all here for each other.
xx

salesaddict

freyasmum wrote: »

I know you weren't replying to me, but don't be silly - that's what we're all here for :grouphug:

Thankyou Freya, it really means a lot to me and I really need all the support I can get at the moment. I have got a thread under the moneysaving in marriage forum that may go someway to explaining things.

salesaddict

alamaya wrote: »

salesaddict wrote: »

Hi Salesaddict,

Just wanted to say your not alone. I watch this thread and it helps me realise i am not the only one. I am in 36k of debt from my compulsive shopping. I have 3 boxes of partially used avon, showergels covering my bathroom. I once brought 6 hair dyes in various colours just because i knew i was dying my hair this year.

So here i am trying to sort myself out avoiding my avon book that keeps coming. embarassed i have got us into this state

Anyways dont want to bore you all anymore but just wanted to say we are all here to try and sort ourselves out and we are all here for each other.
xx

You are not boring me, I am so sorry that you find yourself in the same predicament as me. On another thread I was recommended a book called
Games people play by Eric Berne. I am going to order this from the library as the person who recommended it said that it can really help with compulsive shopping. I will let you know. Hopefully we can support each other. Even though I am mortally embarrassed about my purchases and in real life I try to hide them. I am going to try to be brutally honest on this thread. I hope you all won't tire of me if I keep failing, which I hope not to. But I want to face up to what I have been doing and this will really help me:o