MSE Parents Club Part 9

tarajayne

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant!

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Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

When the kids are in college

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There were three babies in a woman's womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.

The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber. He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."

The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "So I can get some lights in here, its dark!"


The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's name do you want to be a boxer?"

He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

SugarSpun

*wanders in*

Hello everyone

Happy New Year! I'm exhausted after our hotel night of sleepless Molly followed by reporting someone for dangerous driving and being given a shark's tooth. A bit annoyed at the hotel - the babysitter they recommended is a staff member, which is why I went with her, but she turned up reeking of cigarette smoke. Still, it was good to get away from here even overnight and we leave again on Saturday. Haven't even tried reading back and am abot to go to sleep, so if anything important happened please someone let me know

Goodnight, happy new year and see you in the next decade!

searching_me

i like the third one tara x

Mrs_Moc

Paddy's in pub telling his mates about joining the army and doing his first parachute jump. Paddy describes we were about 30'000 feet up and 1 by 1 they started to jump, when it was my turn there was no way I was jumping I couldn't do it. Then this juge black guy behind me pulled out his 12 inch c*** and cried out "paddy if you dont jump i'll stick this baby rite up your bum". Paddys mate replies "well did you jump". Paddy replied just a bit when it first went in!

pinkpig08

I was out shopping in Tesco the other day when a woman collapsed and died in the aisle.

I felt really sorry for her - she'd just bought a bag for life.......

Mrs_Moc

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said

I bet you cant tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time.

The wife thought for a few moments and then said "Your C***s bigger than your brothers"

searching_me

Mrs_Moc wrote: »

Paddy's in pub telling his mates about joining the army and doing his first parachute jump. Paddy describes we were about 30'000 feet up and 1 by 1 they started to jump, when it was my turn there was no way I was jumping I couldn't do it. Then this juge black guy behind me pulled out his 12 inch c*** and cried out "paddy if you dont jump i'll stick this baby rite up your bum". Paddys mate replies "well did you jump". Paddy replied just a bit when it first went in!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: x

harley1

tarajayne wrote: »

I apologise in advance to Bruno and MOTM...

Jokes About Men

Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters

He he, like them Tara. In fact like all of them so far but really like the 3 babies one, was lol at that one.

SugarSpun wrote: »

*wanders in*

Hello everyone

Happy New Year! I'm exhausted after our hotel night of sleepless Molly followed by reporting someone for dangerous driving and being given a shark's tooth. A bit annoyed at the hotel - the babysitter they recommended is a staff member, which is why I went with her, but she turned up reeking of cigarette smoke. Still, it was good to get away from here even overnight and we leave again on Saturday. Haven't even tried reading back and am abot to go to sleep, so if anything important happened please someone let me know

Goodnight, happy new year and see you in the next decade!

Why a shark tooth?

Anyway, the munchkin was asleep when I carried her up just now, I'm hoping she'll stay that way. So I'm off to join her, NYE was never my thing anyway.

BTW, Apparently there is some link between happy mums and sleeping babies. Guess I must be super happy as well as super lucky. Long may it last:D. That was in todays newspaper, which I'm only halfway through but I'm tired so I'll catch up with everything else tomorrow.

HAPPY NEW YEAR all, may it bring everything our collective hearts desire.

xxxxx

money_maker_3

lol Mrs M, I like the 2nd one !!!!

searching_me

ooooo just opened my cava .. bubbly bubbly x