What is a reasonable amount?

Oldernotwiser

Lakeuk wrote: »

I pay what would be considered below the average but make up for it in other ways, paying some bills, buying household goods, food
s

The trouble with doing it this way is that, in a month where funds are tight, the "child" can cut back on the optional extras in a way that people can't actually do regarding paying rent/food/bills in the real world.

My ex BIL paid his parents £5 per week back in the 80s, when he was earning about £15k and he used to buy his parents presents occasionally, which made them think that he was really generous. They never seemed to realise that he was only able to do this because they were subsidising him so heavily all the rest of the time!

kelloggs36

I know I will have to be very tough - my mum doesn't agree though, but then again, tough!! ATM she is on holiday from uni and I don't expect her to pay, but I do expect her to help out around the house - but she doesn't!! She once said to me 'I'm not here to do YOUR housework for you, I'm on holiday'. It caused an almighty row, but nothing changes. I am seriously considering not allowing her to come home, unless I have cast iron guarantee (direct debit) of her paying her way, because I don't believe for one second that she has any respect for the household nor the value of money at the moment!!

Emmajane1987

I understand that you need to teach your daughter the value of money and that it is going to cost you more to have her in the house then at Uni but i think the 1/3 of her wages is stupid. Can you imagine that your daughter will probably be on £18,000 if she is lucky straight of uni which is about £1100 a month after tax out of that £350+ rent to you, £350 + into savings that leaves her with just over £350 for herself which she will have to pay out for her student loan back, travel expenses. If you daughter wants to buy a house one day she is going to want to save more then £350 a month otherwise she will never ever move out. Also she won't beable to afford to go on holiday (i know a luxery) but she is young and experience the world as well. Also pay any car expenses or mobile phone charges. I think 1/3 wages is extreme.

tandraig

I think you got the message by now - £80 a month is taking the pee!
I always looked at the incoming amount then asked for 25%. oh and doing washing etc - thats extra! meals - thats up to you if you asked more for that - I didnt.
I dont like the way it was said as posted ' I will pay X amount'!! who does she think she is? spoilt or what?

Oldernotwiser

Emmajane1987 wrote: »

I understand that you need to teach your daughter the value of money and that it is going to cost you more to have her in the house then at Uni but i think the 1/3 of her wages is stupid. Can you imagine that your daughter will probably be on £18,000 if she is lucky straight of uni which is about £1100 a month after tax out of that £350+ rent to you, £350 + into savings that leaves her with just over £350 for herself which she will have to pay out for her student loan back, travel expenses. If you daughter wants to buy a house one day she is going to want to save more then £350 a month otherwise she will never ever move out. Also she won't beable to afford to go on holiday (i know a luxery) but she is young and experience the world as well. Also pay any car expenses or mobile phone charges. I think 1/3 wages is extreme.

Where would you suggest that anyone can rent accommodation, buy food and pay bills out of £350 per month? Paying your way comes first, before saving, before going out, basically before everything else!

There's many people on here would give their eye teeth to have over £80 per week spending money, much less being able to save that amount as well!

kelloggs36

She acts as though she is spoilt, but I haven't spoilt her at all!! She has developed an attitude of 'I'm over 18, I shall do what the hell I like". Now to me that's fine - but not on my money she doesn't!!!!!!! On one hand I feel mean, but on the other (my sensible side) says that she really needs to get a grip!! At her age (I do sound old now lol) and I'm only 39 now, I had a one year old child to look after and a mortgage. I soon learnt what priorities were - it's a shame she refuses to listen to the voice of experience - still she will have to learn the hard way (but this is where me and my mum clash!! She believes that my DD is hard done by).

Glen0000

Emmajane1987 wrote: »

I understand that you need to teach your daughter the value of money and that it is going to cost you more to have her in the house then at Uni but i think the 1/3 of her wages is stupid. Can you imagine that your daughter will probably be on £18,000 if she is lucky straight of uni which is about £1100 a month after tax out of that £350+ rent to you, £350 + into savings that leaves her with just over £350 for herself which she will have to pay out for her student loan back, travel expenses. If you daughter wants to buy a house one day she is going to want to save more then £350 a month otherwise she will never ever move out. Also she won't beable to afford to go on holiday (i know a luxery) but she is young and experience the world as well. Also pay any car expenses or mobile phone charges. I think 1/3 wages is extreme.

Me and my wife don't have £350 left between us a month after bills, food etc and I earn over £30k. We also can't afford to buy a house either and are mid 30's. Join the real world.

kelloggs36

I am only just about having that amount left over after bills to save - and that is after 20 years of hard graft!! I was a single parent to said DD for a few years, never with any support from her father (another story) so I know how hard it is, and how frustrating it is to have nothing. Just wish she would learn to earn what she gets, rather than have it handed to her on a plate.

MrsTinks

I'd feel very happy if I had £350 left a month to do with as I pleased And I earn a fair whack more than £18k a year (but then I'm OLD at 30 :P).
If she feels she needs to be an adult then let her be one - in her own flat/house/whatever... My parents moved back to Denmark when I was 17 and I moved in with my partners parents where... out of my government grant from Denmark I paid rent... of 50% of what I got... and I still had to pay for my lunches and petrol to school (40 miles...) so.... 30%? harsh? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

neneromanova

Emmajane1987 wrote: »

I understand that you need to teach your daughter the value of money and that it is going to cost you more to have her in the house then at Uni but i think the 1/3 of her wages is stupid. Can you imagine that your daughter will probably be on £18,000 if she is lucky straight of uni which is about £1100 a month after tax out of that £350+ rent to you, £350 + into savings that leaves her with just over £350 for herself which she will have to pay out for her student loan back, travel expenses. If you daughter wants to buy a house one day she is going to want to save more then £350 a month otherwise she will never ever move out. Also she won't beable to afford to go on holiday (i know a luxery) but she is young and experience the world as well. Also pay any car expenses or mobile phone charges. I think 1/3 wages is extreme.

Wow, I would love to have your frame of mind! The point is the Daughter has debt and shouldn't be affording "luxuries" or holidays or savings. She needs to be able to wake up and grow up.