What is a reasonable amount?

HopeAndDriftWood

I'm not returning from uni, as I don't have a home to go too, but my partner will. He's already agreed with his parents that he'll pay half of what he earns. If he needs extra, he does overtime. I do his the bulk of his washing, and pay for his food, as he eats out the majority of the time.

She seems to have a big lack of respect for you, and for the value of money. Give the debt collectors her mobile number, and warn her that her credit rating will be being trashed and she won't even be able to get a contract phone soon, let alone overdraft increases, etc. And tell her what you will be charging if she comes home, and what you'll be expecting her to do. That way, she can get used to it, and learn to budget if she needs too!

geri1965_2

I used to give my dad £80 per month...24 years ago!!

Pitlanepiglet

I don't know where you are in the country Kelloggs but I pay £320 for a room in Bristol on a Monday-Friday (with some odd weekends) basis. This is inclusive of all bills, use of washing machine, dishwasher, wifi, etc. so my only cost is food. This is a fairly usual rent, I think it would have been £360 if I was here all week.

carolinosourus

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I'd be very clear with her that you'll decide how much is reasonable rather her deciding how much she ought to pay. I think any parent who lets a child get away with paying £20 keep and keeping more than 6 times this amount for pocket money isn't helping their child prepare for real life.

I agree with this, my 31 year old ex was working full-time, however was living at home, having all his washing, cooking and cleaning done for him and he was paying £20 per week... He had no idea of the value of money as the only bill he had to pay himself was his mobile and car costs, and actually had a full-on breakdown when they decided to move away from the area and told him that he would have to find somewhere else to live.

Edited to add: they also bailed him out for quite substantial amounts of money when he had taken out a loan to get a fancy car etc that he couldn't afford to repay. I know he smoked A LOT of weed, but I really couldn't work out where his money was going.

neneromanova

I used to give mum £200 a month when I lived at home. She cooked dinner, but only because it made more sense making a batch than me cooking separately. I did my own washing when I had a big enough pile to. When I had my baby and was living at home, she charged me £100 a month to help me, but that was only when the baby was born.

As for the debt collectors...does she have a mobile phone number? Give them that. Also be careful, I'm not good on my law of debts, but if the bills are to your house, surely a bailiff (if it comes to that) can come and take YOUR stuff as payment? I know it's harsh giving them her mobile number, but she needs to learn.

Only roughly working this out, if she is 21 then that's £667 a month before tax. If she's 22+ then it's £802 before tax. But this is only working a 35hr week.

Did she graduate? Or drop out?

shirlgirl2004

My son pays £400 a month or his shared house which includes utlities, broadband etc. He just has to buy food and a very small amount of washing powder and toiletries (being a smelly devil it must be a very small amount). The landlord provides a cleaner for communal areas, he doesn't clean his room.

When he lived at home he paid £120 a month and an extra £15 a month "penalty" because he never wanted to turn his pc off. He earns about £1k a month pre tax.

neneromanova

carolinosourus wrote: »

I agree with this, my 31 year old ex was working full-time, however was living at home, having all his washing, cooking and cleaning done for him and he was paying £20 per week... He had no idea of the value of money as the only bill he had to pay himself was his mobile and car costs, and actually had a full-on breakdown when they decided to move away from the area and told him that he would have to find somewhere else to live.

Sound a bit like my ex but he is 28/29, only child, lives at home, and has everything washed, cooked, cleaned for him and doesn't pay ANYTHING to his parents. He has a 40 inch TV in his bedroom! He's even looking to buy a £35k car!

Oh and I have his child which he has decided he doesn't want to see or pay for.

Smashing

She has debt collectors calling me here and sending letters for unpaid bills and overdrafts - yet she refuses to contact them and sort it out. She is driving me mad with her irresponsibility - I'm not paying them for her as it teaches her nothing. She is working and should be able to pay the debts off - but won't tell them when she is getting paid, and so they keep calling!

There is no way I'd be letting her move back in (no matter what the rent) until she sorts this out - you should not be having to deal with harrasment because of her irresponsibility. Give them her current address and contact number and let her sort out her own mess.

Frith

I used to pay my parents £50 per week rent and make sandwiches every day for 4 of us (me at work, dad at work and brother and sister still at school). I had to buy the lunchtime food/drinks etc.

So that was probably £300 a months - in 1996!!!! Goodness knows how much I'd have to pay now.

L

Frith

neneromanova wrote: »

Sound a bit like my ex but he is 28/29, only child, lives at home, and has everything washed, cooked, cleaned for him and doesn't pay ANYTHING to his parents. He has a 40 inch TV in his bedroom! He's even looking to buy a £35k car!

Oh and I have his child which he has decided he doesn't want to see or pay for.

Eek, sounds like my ex too (although we didn't last long enough to have a child together!) He pays minimal rent, gets all his food cooked, dishes done, laundry done. I never saw him do an iota of housework and I don't think he's ever done any! His parents pander to his every whim and need and his bedroom has the massive tv, stereo, laptop, XBox and every new gadget as it comes into the shops.

He's nearly 37......