What is a reasonable amount?

carolinosourus

Emmajane1987 wrote: »

I understand that you need to teach your daughter the value of money and that it is going to cost you more to have her in the house then at Uni but i think the 1/3 of her wages is stupid. Can you imagine that your daughter will probably be on £18,000 if she is lucky straight of uni which is about £1100 a month after tax out of that £350+ rent to you, £350 + into savings that leaves her with just over £350 for herself which she will have to pay out for her student loan back, travel expenses. If you daughter wants to buy a house one day she is going to want to save more then £350 a month otherwise she will never ever move out. Also she won't beable to afford to go on holiday (i know a luxery) but she is young and experience the world as well. Also pay any car expenses or mobile phone charges. I think 1/3 wages is extreme.

If you were to graduate after 1998 which she evidently will be doing, student loan repayments are taken directly from your salary, providing you are not self-employed and your employer is aware of your student loan. Who cares if she won't be able to have a holiday? That's not really a priority, is it? I haven't been able to have a holiday because I'm living in the real world, paying my rent and bills. I'm young but I'd rather have a roof over my head and no debts than holidaying whenever and wherever I wanted! As for the £350 per month she's saving, that could go towards paying off her debts, the debts that mean she will find it difficult to get a mortgage... You say 1/3 wages is 'extreme', what do you suggest?

neneromanova wrote: »

She needs to be able to wake up and grow up.

Sounds like Emmajane1987 does too...

ladymoon

When i got my first part time job at 16 i paid my mum and dad £10 a week (i earnt £40 a week then)
Then when i worked full time i gave them £250 per month which was fair. I had a lot of spare money and managed to get myself into debt, i wish that my parents had made me save some of my wages.

Apricot

I used to give my mum £150 per month - 4 years ago at the age of 18.
I did all my own washing and ironing & usually cooked for myself as I wasn't often home when tea was made. I think I had a good deal so think that £80 a month is incredibly unrealistic - tell her to ask her friends how much they are paying - she'll probably be shocked!

At the age of 22 I live in my own flat and pay out about £700 of my wages to rent and bills - I live alone so it leaves me very little disposable income and that figure doesn't include grocery shopping. However, I have my independence so if this is what your daughter wants suggest she look around at flats and not to forget to take bills & council tax into consideration.

A holiday is a luxury, I haven't been able to have one since I moved out of home despite the fact that I work 40-50 hours per week. Oh & my student loan repayment is £11.25 per month on an income of £1375 gross so that is a negligable(sp?) amount.

tsstss7

kelloggs36 wrote: »

My DD says she is coming home to live in a few months (returning from uni). She will be working and announces that she will be paying £80 per MONTH in rent - which is to include all bills, food, washing etc. I told her that this is far too low, and said that she should expect to pay £150 per month. She then went into one and said she wasn't paying that!! I told her that she was welcome to find her own place for that figure all in.

So my question to you is: what is a reasonable amount? Assuming a minimum wage job, with everything she needs included in the rent price.

I doubt £80.00/month would even cover food for an extra person unless you are an OS'er or she stays out alot!!

dieselhead

I am interested to know why you mother thinks your daughter is hard done by?

Smashing

kelloggs36 wrote: »

(but this is where me and my mum clash!! She believes that my DD is hard done by).

Your daughter can go and live with her then.
A few months of an 18-going-on-8 year old with an overgrown sense of entitlement should knock that out of her.

JoolzS

I'm posting before reading any responses in the thread. Back in around 1985 I was paying my mum £130 per month rent - that included food and her doing the washing. I did my own ironing and kept my own room clean. Considering that was nearly 25 years ago I think that £80 per month is an insult. I would think that around £200 or £250 per month would be reasonable if you can afford it.

Julie

daska

kelloggs36 wrote: »

(but this is where me and my mum clash!! She believes that my DD is hard done by).

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Just had a conversation with DS1 (12). Went something like this:

Me: So, is there anything you miss from here now you're living with your dad?
DS1: Yes! Freedom!
Me: Really? I thought you didn't like having to do your own washing and clearing up after supper?
DS1: Oh, [stepmum] thinks you asking me to do that is completely out of order
Me: But you miss the freedom - something does not compute!

Maybe she should go live with your mum?

BitterAndTwisted

Considering your daughter has already insulted you twice: the first time by telling you how much she intends to pay to cover her keep, the second time by telling you that she's "on holiday" and therefore will not be responsible for sharing any house work this bodes very, very ill for the future. Either you tell her in words of one syllable that she won't be welcome to freeload off you and that as you're the parent you'll be the one deciding how much the housekeeping will be or you tell her that she must make her own arrangements for housing.

With her negative attitude now I can foresee all kinds of misery, like her not paying any housekeeping at all when it suits her, especially when those debt-collectors and bailiffs start demanding a major proportion of her take-home pay. Or worse, when she can't find a job and won't have any income whatsoever. She doesn't sound like the sort of gal who'd hand over her entire JSA without a fight.

Savvy_Sue

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

I don't know where you are in the country Kelloggs but I pay £320 for a room in Bristol on a Monday-Friday (with some odd weekends) basis. This is inclusive of all bills, use of washing machine, dishwasher, wifi, etc. so my only cost is food. This is a fairly usual rent, I think it would have been £360 if I was here all week.

DS1 is moving out after Christmas, to the other side of Bristol, he's only been paying me £200 per month including food since he came home from Uni this summer, so make me an offer! :rotfl::rotfl:

kelloggs36 wrote: »

I am seriously considering not allowing her to come home, unless I have cast iron guarantee (direct debit) of her paying her way, because I don't believe for one second that she has any respect for the household nor the value of money at the moment!!

Sadly, I don't think she can set up a Direct Debit to you as an individual. There are strict rules to them. Would you settle for a Standing Order?

Oh, and bailiffs can only seize the property of the person who owes the debt, and then only if you let them in. BUT you'd need to be able to demonstrate eg that it was your TV and not your DD's, and make sure you did NOT let them in. At least that's to the best of my knowledge.