Rant about being a working/non working Mum!`

Pee

I think it depends very much on the job you are applying for and the company involved. I don't have children but my current firm have a lot of employees with children and people sometimes bring children in for a couple of hours or take time off to care for them and the firm works around this with people taking work home or coming in on a Sunday when their OH is at home with the children.

Some single or childless employees can be very interested in their personal lives and when not setting up nights out are staggering in with a hangover from one, and some working mums are clearly more interested in their children than they are in their work when they are at work. That is a worst case stereotype. I think the qualities a Mum brings to a role is a commitment to the job - they need the money for their children and are not likely to decide, oh stuff it and disappear to Australia - interest in their work on an intellectual level, problem solving skills fine tuned by arranging childcare and the home and general experience of life.

If you have ever had a colleague plan a wedding, you'll realise the odd day off for a sick child especially when the time is made up is not really much in the great scheme of things - although it is if your role is say reception or a shop assistant, where you need to be there in person at the allocated time.

I don't think anyone thinks a mother at home with children under 5 is lazy or a scrounger.

I do think for your own piece of mind you should look at arranging a support network for your children with other friends in a similiar position. (Or is that illegal now without the right certifiactes?)

SandC

Ahem, I know you said 'some single or childless people', but the parents were single and childless once too you know! Or are we envisaging the ones who don't go on to reproduce continue in this relentless seeking of social gratification and staggering into work hungover and barely able to complete their duties when they are in their 30s and 40s, hell what about when the kids have flown the nest, do they revert back to what the childless do all year round as well?

I know you said that was the worst stereotype but it's implied a lot.

My experience is that those parents who worry about their work attendance and performance are not the ones who cause the problems. I have worked and do work with parents at both ends of the scale. The ones who have seemingly some marvellous set up despite being a single parent and never have their children encroach on their career and those who believe they should get special treatment and whose work ethic goes out of the window after giving birth. In the main though, most have emergencies they have to deal with from time to time but are able to work around them by keeping bosses and colleagues informed and working together.

bylromarha

flea72 wrote: »

There was a study done recently by one of the childrens' charities, and it said that you were classed as poor if your children were growing up in a house without an Xbox, home pc and a tv in most rooms. So now, not only do parents have to be able to feed, cloth and keep a roof over their kids heads, but also maintain a fairly luxurious lifestyle

F

Happy to be poor and continue to live in poverty - there is no way we're getting TV's for the kids bedrooms.

Lunar_Eclipse

flea72 wrote: »

but the question is, do you not have those items by choice, or due to lack of finances

paying higher rate income tax, obviously means its a lifestyle choice, rather than a financial one. as you would have the means to have those items if you so chose, so therefore you are not poor, on any count

F

Obviously through choice. You seem to have missed my point; I agree with you!

My second comment about tax credits was in reply to a poster saying they felt a second income was the only option if failing to qualify. My point is that anyone in that position should count themselves very lucky financially. As I do.:) No need to put me in my place thanks.

Lunar_Eclipse

flea72 wrote: »

for a household to have too higher an income to claim tax credits, then no, having a second income isnt a necessary option

however, most people earn nearer min wage levels, than £58k, heck, most households dont even bring in £58k with two parents working, so to say that a second income isnt the only option, is a bit rich.

F

I know.

But don't jump to assumptions about what that level of income would bring, another poster has already mentioned that 70% of her (or their, I can't recall) income goes on childcare. I remember the break even point for me returning to work was around an income level of 40k when I had my second child! Nurseries were £1100/month at the time, 8 years ago now. So I was faced with £2200/month childcare bill if returning; I didn't. I know childminders are cheaper, but personally I didn't want to go down that route.

Lunar_Eclipse

bylromarha wrote: »

Happy to be poor and continue to live in poverty - there is no way we're getting TV's for the kids bedrooms.

Likewise. My children are never having TV's in their bedrooms either, nor computers or mobile phones.;)

We live by those rules too, so there's no double standards at play.

flea72

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

My second comment about tax credits was in reply to a poster saying they felt a second income was the only option if failing to qualify. My point is that anyone in that position should count themselves very lucky financially. As I do.:) No need to put me in my place thanks.

sorry, didnt mean it to come across like that

In reference to the post by Fly Baby, saying they had no option but to work, due to lack of tax credits. This is where the whole CTC falls down. there is a big difference between a family bringing in £25k and one bringing in £50k, but they are entitled to the same amount of tax credits. even with an income nigh on £60k, you still get CTC of £200/yr

complete madness

F

redrach

stardoman wrote: »

I think the opposite is true - your children are only little once and for a short time. Work if you want too, but you can never get that time back. When the children are older you can get another job then.

I can think of nothing worse than having a career in the same line of work for 40 plus years. I had a career before children and gave it up when my second child was born. I missed out too much on my older child's babyhood and toddlerhood. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. They are all at school now and I work in a completely different field. I love what I do now and it fits around the children.

Mandy.

If I didnt work, as a single parent I would have to claim benefits. this would then make people angry. I spend as much time with my DS as I can, possibly more than those who stay at home. My son doesnt play on the street on his own, we plan activities and enjoy each others company. I know plenty of sahm who let their kids out in the morning and dont see them all day (although I know not all are like this).

I think everyones situation is different and hopefully I am giving my son a good work ethic.