Rant about being a working/non working Mum!`

redrach

There is hope out there. I'm a single mum and I work full time. My son is 9 and we are lucky to have an after school club close by. They pick him up after school and he plays until I get there.

My office is male orientated and there is little or no sympathy for mothers. I just keep my mouth shut about problems. I book all dentist/doctors etc out of office hours and if thats not possible I keep my holidays for that type of situation.

My advice with the interview would be to put a good 'spin' on things. When asked about why I had little experience (I was a teen mum) I explained I had a child, but had a great family network who could help.

The fact is being a working mum is hard. Not just because of the stress of it, but emotionally aswell.

I wouldnt change it for anything though.

Good luck

Puzzledbubbles

I've been reading this with interst, OH and i have been talking about babies recently and i expressly do not want to work when we are blessed with children, therefore, we have decided to try to save up the equivilent of my 12 months wages, we currently live seperately so are managing two households, his wages cover the mortgage and all bills comfortably im just in rented.

Our current plan is to save up the 12 months wage which we can easily make last 2 years i recon - lots of lessons learnt have meant a much more frugal lifestyle for both of us! Also, for me to save a portion of my wage for a ladies nice things account, that way, if i want make up, clothes or just things for me, i dont feel like i have to ask OH for the money as soul earner.

Once this all runs out i will go back to work if i need to, a friend and i do have a plan for our own business which would be one option, otherwise, im not work shy and would literally do anything so although i am working through my career at the moment i really would do any job i could get but only if it will go around the children when they are pre-school age.

I understand that everyone is differnt, but for us, childcare is a massive part of the plan and im totally prepared to drop any notion of a career to be able to stay at home and look after my children.

Bennifred

OP, have you considered becoming a childminder yourself? Always in demand!

Puzzledbubbles

redrach wrote: »

There is hope out there. I'm a single mum and I work full time. My son is 9 and we are lucky to have an after school club close by. They pick him up after school and he plays until I get there.

My office is male orientated and there is little or no sympathy for mothers. I just keep my mouth shut about problems. I book all dentist/doctors etc out of office hours and if thats not possible I keep my holidays for that type of situation.

My advice with the interview would be to put a good 'spin' on things. When asked about why I had little experience (I was a teen mum) I explained I had a child, but had a great family network who could help.

The fact is being a working mum is hard. Not just because of the stress of it, but emotionally aswell.

I wouldnt change it for anything though.

Good luck

Well done! you sound so totally sorted i know many of my friends who had thier children young used that as an excuse to not be able to work and now i believe they regret losing that chance and would love to gain that working time back!

BTW, real reason for quoting is i was so impressed with your sig!!!!!!! didnt want to go off topic though lol x:beer:

Lunar_Eclipse

LondonDiva wrote: »

Based on my experiences, I would have real concerns about employing a mother.

If only for the sake of your own managerial competence, you can't judge approximately one third of the workforce on your experiences of only one person.

Keep the bigger picture in mind and things in perspective. Your experiences of this person highlight the significant issues (working) mothers have and make me feel incredibly sad about the state of the world we're living in. Although I know it would have been incredibly frustrating for you to manage.

On a personal note, I would urge you to reflect on your assumptions about working mothers. Firstly because they are discriminatory against a significant portion of the population and would be illegal for you to act upon when hiring, secondly because on a personal level, you presumably had/have a mother. Finally, you may well become, or be emotionally involved with, a mother yourself one day.

To the OP, I have felt your pain. It's incredibly difficult but you've had some valuable input regarding options and need to decide what is a priority and right for you and your family.

moneypanicker

It's not bad news all time. I got a new job when i was 8 months pregnant and there was no hiding that in the interview :rotfl:

flea72

PayDay wrote: »

There are very generous benefits (Tax Credits, childrens grants, childcare) paid to parents these days, something that McKneff wouldn't have had in their day.

its swings and roundabouts - CB went alot further in those days, you had married mans tax allowance, free milk in schools, subsidised school meals, etc.

back then, no-one had to consider whether they could afford to have a child, you just had them, and fed/clothed/housed them to the extent your money would allow. Nowadays, we are expected to maintain a certain standard of living, and if that means you either have to leave them in childcare so you can put food on the table, or have no kids at all, then its a pretty unfair choice to have to make

when did having kids become a luxury that only the rich could afford?

There was a study done recently by one of the childrens' charities, and it said that you were classed as poor if your children were growing up in a house without an Xbox, home pc and a tv in most rooms. So now, not only do parents have to be able to feed, cloth and keep a roof over their kids heads, but also maintain a fairly luxurious lifestyle

F

Nomoneymummy_2

McKneff wrote: »

the only way it worked for me was that i worked when my husband was at home. I worked for years 6pm to 10pm at night. Like you i had no family around to help to take the strain so we had no choice but to work around the kids.

I've always worked the same way as McKneff, OH works from 6am till 4pm and I worked from 5pm-11pm,
I've now finally landed a job at home but still working opposite hours (9pm-3am) to him, but now also login some day hours too so it gets awkward when kids are sick! (inconsiderate little monsters never wait till the weekend )

I know a few mum's with similar situations to mine and we've created a "child pool", If you know and trust a couple of mummys and they are willing we swap hours between us on a sort of child share basis,
ie, If I'm due in work but dd is ill and can't attend school and I'm due on a day shift I know at least 2 mums who will be free to help out!

We sit and work out a monthly rota between us, school is now fully aware of the situation and when dropping of kids in the am we simply mention to the teacher it is x's day, so shes now incase of emergency contact.
It works well as there is a few of us on full time hours who swap from day to evening,
But equally you could suggest day hours swapped for night babysitting!

It works really well for us, and we also do it for afterschool activity runs and school runs etc etc (has even been used for hangovers!;))

I'm lucky enough to have local family but they all still work full time so this is really usefull! Also helps lots in the hols when schools etc are shut!

Bargain_Rzl

flea72 wrote: »

when did having kids become a luxury that only the rich could afford?

I'm very tempted to say that one of the big problems with modern British society is that this is not the case at all. The rich can afford kids, and the poor - that's those who are "officially" poor, and in receipt of benefits - can afford kids.

It's those in the middle who work for a living, have to fund their own housing, and who are often poorer than the "officially" poor, who have all the hard decisions to make about personal sacrifices, and often really struggle to afford to have children at even the most basic subsistence level considered acceptable in a modern civilised country.

There's so much wrong with both the benefits system and housing policy in this country.

Sorry, off topic.

Fly_Baby

PayDay wrote: »

There are very generous benefits (Tax Credits, childrens grants, childcare) paid to parents these days, something that McKneff wouldn't have had in their day.

You don't get any of these, except for the non-means tested Child Benefit, if only you husband isn't earning a complete pittance. So a lot of parents find themselves in a situation when they are too rich to be entitled to any grants and tax credits and yet hard to manage on that one salary. So the second income is the only option.