Rant about being a working/non working Mum!`

Lunar_Eclipse

flea72 wrote: »

There was a study done recently by one of the childrens' charities, and it said that you were classed as poor if your children were growing up in a house without an Xbox, home pc and a tv in most rooms. So now, not only do parents have to be able to feed, cloth and keep a roof over their kids heads, but also maintain a fairly luxurious lifestyle

F

Which is hilarious, since by that definition we're poor on two of the three counts mentioned, yet manage to find ourselves rich enough to pay top rate income tax and not qualify for child tax credits. How utterly ridiculous; long live the simple life.

Lunar_Eclipse

Fly_Baby wrote: »

You don't get any of these, except for the non-means tested Child Benefit, if only you husband isn't earning a complete pittance. So a lot of parents find themselves in a situation when they are too rich to be entitled to any grants and tax credits and yet hard to manage on that one salary. So the second income is the only option.

The tax credits threshold is fairly high imo, at c.58k income from memory. We've only just this year not qualified and I would say we manage fine, in a very expensive part of the South East. I certainly don't feel that a second income is the only option.

flea72

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Which is hilarious, since by that definition we're poor on two of the three counts mentioned, yet manage to find ourselves rich enough to pay top rate income tax and not qualify for child tax credits. How utterly ridiculous; long live the simple life.

but the question is, do you not have those items by choice, or due to lack of finances

paying higher rate income tax, obviously means its a lifestyle choice, rather than a financial one. as you would have the means to have those items if you so chose, so therefore you are not poor, on any count

F

flea72

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

The tax credits threshold is fairly high imo, at c.58k income from memory. We've only just this year not qualified and I would say we manage fine, in a very expensive part of the South East. I certainly don't feel that a second income is the only option.

for a household to have too higher an income to claim tax credits, then no, having a second income isnt a necessary option

however, most people earn nearer min wage levels, than £58k, heck, most households dont even bring in £58k with two parents working, so to say that a second income isnt the only option, is a bit rich.

F

Fly_Baby

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

The tax credits threshold is fairly high imo, at c.58k income from memory. We've only just this year not qualified and I would say we manage fine, in a very expensive part of the South East. I certainly don't feel that a second income is the only option.

The upper threshold means that you get any tax credit at all. I believe my family's entitlement has been limited to £38 per month ever since our joint income reached about £37,000. It sounds a lot but the problem was, 70% of my salary went on childcare (we are in SE too) and about 10% - on travel, so I was effectively working for my CV and bringing in about £150 pounds a month. But because of my husband's salary of £25K we didn't get any working tax credit nor childcare element and effectively the three of us lived on that money which isn't really a lot for SE.

stardoman

Puzzledbubbles wrote: »

Well done! you sound so totally sorted i know many of my friends who had thier children young used that as an excuse to not be able to work and now i believe they regret losing that chance and would love to gain that working time back!

BTW, real reason for quoting is i was so impressed with your sig!!!!!!! didnt want to go off topic though lol x:beer:

I think the opposite is true - your children are only little once and for a short time. Work if you want too, but you can never get that time back. When the children are older you can get another job then.

I can think of nothing worse than having a career in the same line of work for 40 plus years. I had a career before children and gave it up when my second child was born. I missed out too much on my older child's babyhood and toddlerhood. I wasn't going to make that mistake again. They are all at school now and I work in a completely different field. I love what I do now and it fits around the children.

Mandy.

emlou2009

my OH earns £16k. it isnt enough to provide for us and our son. therefore i also work. yes, it sucks having to send my son to a childminder, but there is no other option for us.
those of you saying how awful it is for someone to have children and then leave them with a childminder while they go to work, to clothe, feed, and house their children, think honestly about what you are really saying. if you were in the same financial position as all of the people that use childcare while at work and truly wouldnt want to use childcare, you are effectively saying you would not have had your children.

you are basically saying you wouldnt have had them if you had needed to work. can you honestly imagine your life without them? how empty would it have been?

Puzzledbubbles

well done on the job op

there are so many different sides to this debate, i think it really is horses for courses. OH and i havent got as far as working out any additional entitlement, and the best laid plans end it tears, but i am hopeful that we will get around it.

thanks for the suggestion of becoming a child minder i have started looking into it and think it may be a definate fall back for us, i love kids and as an ex teacher (who left becuase of the adults not the kids) i really think we could make it work.

lazyhazie

My parents have the same kind of attitude as McKneff- my Mum didn't work until we were all in high school, and even then only part time. They can't seem to understand my situation.

The major difference for me is house prices. When my parents got married they bought a "home for life". Even with only one salary and three children, and a comfortable life (holidays etc) they were able to pay it off in about 10 years.

I bought at the peak of the housing bubble, and my house cost me FIVE times my salary, and in 10 years I will still owe over £100,000.

I have a small semi in a council estate, and realistically will want to move if I have more than one child.

If I gave up work to have children, my OH's take home pay would cover the mortgage and Bills and leave NOTHING for food, clothing etc.

I have a good job, and worked really hard to get here (7 years study all together). My job is a big part of my life, and who I am. Most importantly I enjoy my work. If I was going to give this all up then I may as well not have bothered. 40 years ago I probably wouldn't be in this positition as no-one would have bothered training or promoting a woman.

At the moment me and OH are making as many overpayments as possible, so hopefully in a few years we will have reduced the mortgage to the point where I can work part time. This would be the ideal compromise for me.

I also believe that by being a working Mother I will be setting my children a good example in teaching them about equality and the value of women in society.

So McKneff, your views may have been valid in the time you grew up in, but now society has changed and the reality nowadays is that one salary isn't enough to support a family. You also need to consider the benefits of a woman going to work, beyond simply the money she brings home.

mookiandco

I went back to work when my little girl was 4.5 months. I could probably have afforded to stay off for a couple more months but it would have eaten into her savings and I felt that they were better kept for a rainy day. I also wanted to avoid baby becoming clingy or upset when I left her so I thought it was better to bite the bullet and put her with a childminder when she hadnt reached that stage (think we have possibly bypassed it now too!).

I work 5 days a week 9 - 5 but one day is working from home (who am I trying to kid!). Baby goes to her childminders with daddy dropping her off and me collecting her. She gets to play all day at the childminders, who adored my baby so much she decided she only wanted to look after her. So she has one to one care all day and is thriving on it. The childminder fills in a daily diary and e-mails me photos occasionally of my little girl sleeping and playing.

I have only been back 6 weeks but have already secured 2 pay rises and a promotion to head of department. I feel that if I hadnt gone back when I did I would have been overlooked, so its all worked out well.

I cant pretend that in an ideal world I wouldnt have taken a year off, but i'm hoping that by going back now, when the next one comes along (hopefully sooner rather than later), we'll be in a much stronger financial position and I will be able to take the whole year off and both little ones will benefit.