Time for a new start

paulpat

Just wondered if anybody else had experienced a similar situation.

I've been married for 25 years and we have 3 wonderful kids,who have now flown the nest. I also have 4 grand children which are beautiful and I adolise them more than I know.

Over the last 12 months I've started to think our marriage is over. I like going to the pub and the football, whereas my wife likes staying at home knitting stuff for the grand kids. Last straw was yesterday when I decided to stay at home to watch the match on the tv and she had invited a friend around to show her how to do a specific knitting pattern. They talked all the way through.

In work I have a few female friends. One is 25-30 and is a single parent. She has made in quite clear that she is interested in me, even though I am 25 years her senior. She is quite attractive and I think we could get on well (if you know what I mean). It can't be worse that at home. She never seems interested.

My only worry is that she would have little to live on. She could keep the house (it's rented anyway) and I could give her a few quid a week. If nothing else it will pay for some of her wool.

Am I really being unfair at 50 if I was to start a fresh in the New Year. New house. New younger lady friend. We get on very well and she is quite well toned as well, as she loves going to the gym. I reckon I could also offer a great deal in helping bring up the kids. All mine went through University and never wanted for anything.

Please don't judge me too badly. I'm 50. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. One other quick thing - is she entitled to any of my pension fund. I pay extra in at the moment, but if she is, I could always stop and pay into another type of savings plan.

Thanks

Paul

zippychick

Ha ha haha ha. Good one. Merry Christmas.

McKneff

I'm trying very hard not to judge. but here are my thoughts.

You say your wife is not interested. It seems to me that you to are not interested, can you be bothered to try. Can you even be bothered to try to talk to her and have an adult conversation about all this.

How long do you reckon a 30 year old fit woman is gonna be interested in a 50 year old, think 5 years down the line, think 10 years down the line.

Grass is greener and all that.

And yes, she is entitled to half your pension and righly so.

Are you 100% sure how this lady feels or are you just having your ego stroked by your imagination.

Do you really want to cause the lady who you have lived with for 25 years and who bore your children all
the pain and anguish or can you be bothered to do something about it. Does she have any idea about all this.

McKneff

zippychick wrote: »

Ha ha haha ha. Good one. Merry Christmas.

Elaborate please or have i just wasted 5 minutes of my very precious time helping a troll.

paulpat

zippychick wrote: »

Ha ha haha ha. Good one. Merry Christmas.

Well I hope it never happens to you.

paulpat

McKneff wrote: »

I'm trying very hard not to judge. but here are my thoughts.

You say your wife is not interested. It seems to me that you to are not interested, can you be bothered to try. Can you even be bothered to try to talk to her and have an adult conversation about all this.

How long do you reckon a 30 year old fit woman is gonna be interested in a 50 year old, think 5 years down the line, think 10 years down the line.

Grass is greener and all that.

And yes, she is entitled to half your pension and righly so.

Are you 100% sure how this lady feels or are you just having your ego stroked by your imagination.

Do you really want to cause the lady who you have lived with for 25 years and who bore your children all
the pain and anguish or can you be bothered to do something about it. Does she have any idea about all this.

I am interested but it is just as the years have gone by, as I have looked after myself (even playing football on a Sunday), she has let herself go. Okay I'm a Grandad, but I don't want to act like a Grandad. I still want to keep on the go. However she is a Grandma, and acts like a Grandma, if you get what I mean.

Paul

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Wonder if the OP has considered that the wife might be seeing the bloke in the wool shop when he's off at football? Or that the single mum might be more interested in the never wanted for anything part of the deal? Unless the OP is Mel Gibson, the odds are there isn't anything other than cold, hard cash, that can take away from a 50 year old man's saggy butt, moobs, stinking of stale beer from the pub and the whingeing about protecting a pension fund which the wife is fully entitled to decimate.

No fool like an old fool.

Back under the bridge, I think.

paulpat

It is sad that all women can think about is cash. I have said quite openly that she can have the house and I'll even pay a few quid a week to her, as she has no other money to live on.

But why stay in the marriage when a better offer is there.Surely people move on all the time. As for the pension. Why should I pay more into it. I will have another lady and kids to look after. The wife has been kept for many years, through her own choice.

Paul

maggied_2

paulpat wrote: »

Just wondered if anybody else had experienced a similar situation.

I've been married for 25 years and we have 3 wonderful kids,who have now flown the nest. I also have 4 grand children which are beautiful and I adolise them more than I know.

Over the last 12 months I've started to think our marriage is over. I like going to the pub and the football, whereas my wife likes staying at home knitting stuff for the grand kids. Last straw was yesterday when I decided to stay at home to watch the match on the tv and she had invited a friend around to show her how to do a specific knitting pattern. They talked all the way through.

In work I have a few female friends. One is 25-30 and is a single parent. She has made in quite clear that she is interested in me, even though I am 25 years her senior. She is quite attractive and I think we could get on well (if you know what I mean). It can't be worse that at home. She never seems interested.

My only worry is that she would have little to live on. She could keep the house (it's rented anyway) and I could give her a few quid a week. If nothing else it will pay for some of her wool.

Am I really being unfair at 50 if I was to start a fresh in the New Year. New house. New younger lady friend. We get on very well and she is quite well toned as well, as she loves going to the gym. I reckon I could also offer a great deal in helping bring up the kids. All mine went through University and never wanted for anything.

Please don't judge me too badly. I'm 50. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. One other quick thing - is she entitled to any of my pension fund. I pay extra in at the moment, but if she is, I could always stop and pay into another type of savings plan.

Thanks

Paul

OK....:rotfl:

You're going to leave your wife who you've been married to for 25 years and have had three children with and you want to withhold her share of her pension (to which she is legally entitled).

Instead you'd like to see a much younger woman's children out financially presumably because:

She is quite attractive and I think we could get on well (if you know what I mean). It can't be worse that at home. She never seems interested.

you think a woman in her twenties won't be able to keep her hands off you (if you know what I mean....ugh).

I hope you do leave your wife - I don't think she deserves to be thought of like you do. And let's see how long the other woman puts up with a selfish old g*t like you before she realises she'd be better off with someone her own age when SHE gets bored of YOU. Grandad.

Also don't think if your wife divorces you you'll get away with chucking her a few quid every week.

I think someone's finished up for Christmas and has opened the egg nog too early :rolleyes:

maggied_2

paulpat wrote: »

It is sad that all women can think about is cash. I have said quite openly that she can have the house and I'll even pay a few quid a week to her, as she has no other money to live on.

But why stay in the marriage when a better offer is there.Surely people move on all the time. As for the pension. Why should I pay more into it. I will have another lady and kids to look after. The wife has been kept for many years, through her own choice.

So you think you're going to play out your senior years playing daddy to another woman's children....? Bet that'd impress your own children no end....what makes you think her children will want mummy's old bloke around?

And through her choice? So you had no involvement with the creation of 3 children or sticking around for 25 years.

Paul

Oooh you're a funny one! All women can think about is cash? Read your first post again.

Then go and buy yourself some leather trousers, get your ear pierced and get over yourself.

MrsTinks

If you want to leave - leave. But DON'T leave because you think there is a better offer on the table...
Flirting and talking about "what if's" are very different to actually letting you move in or even having a proper relationship... Chances are that if you turned round and said "I've left the missus - can I move in today" that missy would run for the hills!
If you are unhappy enough to leave then fair enough - but don't leave because option b looks prettier - because if option b doesn't work out then option a will have closed the door and YOU will be stood without a roof over your head...
And then you still have an incredibly bitter divorce to deal with...