Time for a new start

paulpat

maggied wrote: »

Also don't think if your wife divorces you you'll get away with chucking her a few quid every week.

We have no kids at home. We have no house (it is rented). What would she be entitled too? I think I would be doing her a favour giving her a few quid a week. I mean I'm working for that - she isn't!!

maggied_2

Google spousal maintenance.

jackie_w

paulpat wrote: »

We have no kids at home. We have no house (it is rented). What would she be entitled too? I think I would be doing her a favour giving her a few quid a week. I mean I'm working for that - she isn't!!

Well for a start she is entitled to half your pension, also, I think (but someone may correct me here) that you may have to give her maintenance money for her.


Personally I think you are living in a dream land. That lady who you say likes you is probably looking for someone to look after her kids when shes out at the pub, and also any cash you can throw her way.

Seriously, think about what you are throwing away? have you even spoken to your wife about how you feel? Some people just get stuck in a rut, and dont realise that their spouse is unhappy.
If you love your wife, surely you need to give her and you a chance at trying to make it work!

If you dont love your wife, then leave, BUT dont leave thinking the grass is greener, its not, as soon as the cold light of day sets in normal daily life, it will be back to the same old same old.
Imagine watching the footie when your OW's kids are running about the house.

McKneff

Do you really want to turn your back on your children and your grandchildren,
do you want all of them to turn their back on you. You will leave their grandma
distraught, do you really think they will want to see you, no, not for a very long time.

I think you should think long and hard about it all and try and put some life back into your marriage.
Do you really think that all of us dont feel like that at some time in our marriages. (42 years coming up for me) Not all of them happy, but most of them. Work on it and think about something other than your own needs.

If you really think your marriage could be over, leave for those reasons
not for a 30 year old with kids. Put that on a back burner for at least a few months.

RoxieW

oh dear lord you aremy worst nightmare. i would be devastated should my husband turn around in 25yrs and decide to trade me in for a younger model. this woman has given her life to you. she's born and raised your children. dont bail on her now. if things are stale cant you do something about it? perhaps you could suggest a joint gym membership? treat her to a health spa day, her hair doing, perhaps some new clothes? why not book a holiday together - spend some time getting to know each other again? Dont give up on your marriage because you think some twenty year old likes you. It WILL end in tears. And I dont think you would even be considering leaving your wife did you not imagine there to be a 'better' offer on the table. Think of your family. Forget this younger woman and commit the next year to trying to make your marriage work. Take your wife out. Try to find new hobbies you can do together. Cinema? Theatre? A club? Gym? Hobby? Travel? If after a year you still feel your marriage is dead then go for it. But I'd be surprised if this younger womans affections even last that long. Good luck.

Oh, and expect to have to support your wife for life should you choose to leave her at this time of life when i'm assuming she hasnt worked for a long time (if ever?) and her career prospects will be slim.

Errata

What an interesting conundrum. Stay with the wife and talk to her, or leave her for the bimbo ? Tough call.

fantasia322

Lol this makes me laugh. Why is everyone so judgmental when a man is flattered by the attention of a younger woman. This guy is 50, has taken care of himself and his wife lives for her grandchildren. Life, love and sex do not simply stop at that age even for a woman, just because you have grandchildren. It seems that the wife has let herself vegitate and is simply interested in doing homely things (going by what the OP posts).
What I'd like to know is why is she sitting at home knitting instead of getting herself a job, widening her circle and keeping herself interesting.
I agree the wife is legally entitled to her share of the pension etc but I just hate the fact that everybody pounces on a man because he is tired & bored, and the idea of greener grass is way more attractive.
I do think he should try and talk to his wife to see if the problems can be fixed/ But you cant castigate someone because hey ask for an opinion

Errata

paulpat wrote: »

It is sad that all women can think about is cash. I have said quite openly that she can have the house and I'll even pay a few quid a week to her, as she has no other money to live on.

But why stay in the marriage when a better offer is there.Surely people move on all the time. As for the pension. Why should I pay more into it. I will have another lady and kids to look after. The wife has been kept for many years, through her own choice.

Paul

Very generous, considering it's rented.

You'll have another lady and kids to be a meal ticket for.

You should have offered to give up work yourself and bring your kids up.

maggied_2

paulpat wrote: »

Just wondered if anybody else had experienced a similar situation.


Over the last 12 months I've started to think our marriage is over. I like going to the pub and the football, whereas my wife likes staying at home knitting stuff for the grand kids. Last straw was yesterday when I decided to stay at home to watch the match on the tv and she had invited a friend around to show her how to do a specific knitting pattern. They talked all the way through.

Paul

fantasia322 wrote: »

Lol this makes me laugh. Why is everyone so judgmental when a man is flattered by the attention of a younger woman. This guy is 50, has taken care of himself and his wife lives for her grandchildren. Life, love and sex do not simply stop at that age even for a woman, just because you have grandchildren. It seems that the wife has let herself vegitate and is simply interested in doing homely things (going by what the OP posts).
What I'd like to know is why is she sitting at home knitting instead of getting herself a job, widening her circle and keeping herself interesting.
I agree the wife is legally entitled to her share of the pension etc but I just hate the fact that everybody pounces on a man because he is tired & bored, and the idea of greener grass is way more attractive.
I do think he should try and talk to his wife to see if the problems can be fixed/ But you cant castigate someone because hey ask for an opinion

You could turn this around - why isn't he at home making his marriage work instead of going out to the pub and the football? Is it a massive shock that a woman who has stayed at home to bring up 3 children is immersed in family life?

She invited a friend round and dared to talk all the way through HIS FOOTBALL MATCH.....wow what a cow!

I don't think people should stay in unhappy relationships. But to discard your wife of 25 years and the mother of your children for the promise of a bit of younger flesh.....

This will rip his family apart - do you think your grown up children who obviously have a mum who goes out of her way for their children are going to be impressed with a man who dumps their mother to go and play happy families with a woman who sounds closer to their age?

iolanthe07

But why stay in the marriage when a better offer is there.

Because you made a solemn promise to do just this when you married her? Remember the 'til death us do part' bit? Religious or civil, a marriage is for life, not just for until you get bored.