yet another change of id thread - losing my ds

tandraig

beginningtohatexmas - I am sorry to say this hun, but you have put your son in danger - these dealers dont mess around. morally, yes you did the right thing but I for one, would have understood if you had just handed the drugs over when he asked for them.
Its such a hard situation to be in - do you do the right thing or collude with your son in breaking the law?
the thing is - you arent rigid about the law as you wouldnt have suggested your son sell them to a friend who uses cannabis as medication.
your son shouldnt have destroyed your property - but it probably shows how panicked he is about not having the money to pay his dealer.
Its a sorry situation for everyone, for you, your son and the rest of the family.
he prob has a mobile hun, and all I can suggest is you leave text messages offering the money at least he can show the dealer this and hopefully will escape a beating. then follow through and give him the money. otherwise, i hate to say this but your relationship will be irrevocably damaged.

grey_lady

Sorry tandraig are you seriously saying that the op should support her son in being a drug dealer?

He broke the rules (e.g took it into her house) and now he deals with the consequences - the op offered him an easy way out (the friend) and he choose to ignore it. Surely it's better for the OP to try and nip it in the bud in the way she offered rather than let her son be a drug dealer using her home.

tandraig

no I wasnt suggesting that - however i did say that I personally would have understood if she had given him back the drugs. to avoid a beating or worse. after that the house rules would have been re-inforced with threats to tell the police he was dealing - and I personally would have carried through on this and my kids knew it! sometimes you have to bend the rules a bit, and to my mind, this was one of those times.
In the interest of stopping my son from getting a beating and making that plain to him.
and he may have ignored the offer to supply her friend as HIS stash was promised elsewhere - and these may be the people he is scared of.

System

To be fair, in regards to him "getting a beating" by the drug dealers, he should have thought about that BEFORE getting into drugs. Its not rocket science that their will inevitably be some nasty people involved if you get involved in drugs, especially dealing.

lynzpower

I wonder whether you SHOULD tell the police about the drugs. What he has is not proof of supply ( or is it?) and maybe they can help him get protection.

moggylover

Very torn on this OP as I think you made the right decisions for the right reasons.

However, I agree entirely with Tandraig that you are putting your sons safety very much at risk. Drug dealers don't mess around and they are not going to be put off by him telling them that his mum confiscated them, especially not if they know where you live.

I'm not sure where you go from here: but I think you need to talk to your son about it and perhaps (even though it goes against the grain) hand back the stash and let him sort it out. Make it clear that this is his only chance though and that you will not have the stuff in the house again and will not have him in the house if he intends to carry on dealing.

Good luck - this must be dreadful to be coping with and my heart goes out to you.

PBS - if you cannot be helpful then why not just keep your nose out?:D

moggylover

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=102051

From the mouth of the horse.

I think that is meant for those where the AE is used without acknowledgment from the user (i.e. to be used for trolling or sockpuppeting). Here the user has already told us that she is an AE and why and I do not think there would be anything wrong in that.

McKneff

Polish big spender, please dont take offence but

from the mouth of the horse just doesnt have the same ring to it as normal.

The saying is 'from the horses mouth' - just trying to help, like i say, dont take offence.

looktothefuture

The OP was right with the way she dealt with it initially because it has many implications to her and her family should her house have been raided or tagged as a dealers home... She had other children in the house to think of. I'd not have given it back but I would have told the police... No matter how much trouble my son was in by his dealer, I still would have said something as he needed to be taught a lesson! His dealer is another matter all together though... he may get a beating for not selling on the drug but what if the dealer got him to start selling harder drugs the next time round?? What then? The safety of the OP's other children and indeed her own saftey come into play here!

OP, many of my friends at some point "acted on behalf of" a dealer (socially we all knew who to go to if you wanted a bit of weed!), many of those friends quit doing it when trouble found them, many of those friends now live a clean life but sadly some don't! I hope your son doesn't land up following the sheep!

My suggestion would be to try explain to your son that he's put his brothers and sisters as well as your own safety at stake and that selling a bit of weed on the side certainly doesn't bring in the money (hard work does that!) and that you love him and don't want him living a life where he can't look forward only over his shoulder!

Good luck!

annie123

http://www.pada.org.uk/

Call the above number, they will advise you of all the options available to you and the pros and cons.
There are many places for parents like yourself to get help and support. Many of the people at the end of the phone have been in your situation too, so don't feel awkard or that you can't be totally honest with them, you can.
Good luck