non existent libido - desperate - please help

kr15snw

We didnt, but we've started to make the effort to. This week has been wonderful. Theres been the cheeky kisses, the cuddles and sneaky grope and the flirty comments. Its been great.

We've both realised we got too comfortable, to the stage where we stopped telling each other we loved each other, stopped the kissing everything. I knew he loved me and wanted all of this, but we just stopped showing it. We've now realised this needs to change, so we're making (and enjoying) the effort

Lotus-eater

Sounds like you are on the right path.

Y'know, sex is great and all, but somewhat overrated without love.

Sex and love, now that's worth having.

Snuggles

kr15snw wrote: »

We didnt, but we've started to make the effort to. This week has been wonderful. Theres been the cheeky kisses, the cuddles and sneaky grope and the flirty comments. Its been great.

We've both realised we got too comfortable, to the stage where we stopped telling each other we loved each other, stopped the kissing everything. I knew he loved me and wanted all of this, but we just stopped showing it. We've now realised this needs to change, so we're making (and enjoying) the effort

So glad that you can see a way forward and I really hope you work things out. It's so easy to get bogged down in the routine of every day life and just lose that spark. But it sounds as though you both love each other very much and it's great that you are both prepared to make the effort to get things back on track. Good luck! x

Lotus-eater

kr15snw wrote: »

The doctor was great. I explained everything and she does agree it could all be down to confidence issues and depression. So she has decided to sort out my confidence issues first by sending me to a talking therapist just so I can talk about everything.

Ive spoken to my OH about it all and weve decided to continue working through this, but am so glad we have finally found a reason for it all. And we know its going to get better

I've just realised something here.

Is your oh very confident and self assured? People like this often don't realise that others with low self esteem want and need reassurance from their partners, that they are loved and wanted, that they are good at things. Basically, he needs to build you up again, it's not all his job, you need to work at it, to find out what has caused this in you. But he can help an awful lot.

I think you should get your oh to read this thread. It may help.

Morglin

Perhaps we could all remember that sex starts in the brain, so relationship problems can put a damper on it, but many issues can curtail libido and it's not always anyone's 'fault'.:rolleyes:

These things happen, and there are treatments around to help.

Lin

Steel_2

kr15snw wrote: »

We didnt, but we've started to make the effort to. This week has been wonderful. Theres been the cheeky kisses, the cuddles and sneaky grope and the flirty comments. Its been great.

We've both realised we got too comfortable, to the stage where we stopped telling each other we loved each other, stopped the kissing everything. I knew he loved me and wanted all of this, but we just stopped showing it. We've now realised this needs to change, so we're making (and enjoying) the effort

I'm so pleased for you. I've always found hubby and I need those little squeezes and sneaky kisses to keep the spark going. They're small signs of daily love and value. We also never forget to say please and thank you to one another - appreciation is a big one too. We always kiss goodnight.

At times when we've been stressed by life circumstances, without those little signs of affections things can get tense and unhappy - arguements can break out over the smallest things because we don't feel cherished by one another.