non existent libido - desperate - please help

FirstTimer4Me

hiya if you have the time please spend a few minutes to read my post you may be able to help

does anyone suffer with this and have any suggestions for it to improve?

i’m a 50 year male have been with my partner for over 20 years we have a very strong relationship both emotionally and physically however for the last 12 months my sex drive is virtually non existent this is now getting on top of me so much I’ve sought advice from my GP who prescribed Viagra

sadly it had no effect so my gp took blood tests for diabetes / cholesterol but both came back OK

i wondered if i am suffering from adropause (male menopause) but my gp says i'm not.

due to issues within my childhood I’ve suffered with physological issues all my life I’m aware physological issues may be an underlying cause however (the next bit is important) we had a great sex life whilst on the medication I’m on now (been on the same medication for 8 years) therefore i doubt it's to do with my personal isses

my GP has referred me to a urology clinic (not sure what for so if anyone can advise)

This libido problem is starting to create other issue i.e. low self esteem / depression and although my partner is very understanding its me that that has the issue so if anyone has any advice I’d be very grateful for your opinion

ta for reading and for any help anyone can offer

zenmaster

Have you had a testosterone count?

A mate of mine recently discovered he had a level of 6 whereas the average for his age (mid 40s) is 20. I have heard TRT is commonplace in Germany but not in the UK. I thought that you get patches, like a woman's HRT, but my mate was given some gel. I've not spoken to him since so I can't comment on how effective it is.

It wasn't just libido though. As I understand it was a general lethargy, with obvious side effects.

I'm surprised you were given Viagra. I thought that was just for the physical side of things and not an aphrodisiac?

You also state that the loss of libido is leading to low self esteem and depression. Could it possibly be the other way round?

RAS

FT4M

Before you start worrying about the effects of absence of libido, can I suggest that you and your partner use this opportunity to explore other options?

There's more than one way to skin a cat and life "behind the bike shed" can be thoroughly entertaining.

FirstTimer4Me

hiya and thanks for replying

zenmaster wrote: »

I'm surprised you were given Viagra. I thought that was just for the physical side of things and not an aphrodisiac?

i'm not sure why i was given viagra although since my sex drive has vanished i do have difficulty maintaing an erection

zenmaster wrote: »

You also state that the loss of libido is leading to low self esteem and depression. Could it possibly be the other
way round?

i don't think so as i've always had a good sex life and on a level playing field, i have no personal issues with job homes etc it's only in the last 12 months where i'm constantly fatiged and my sex drive has vanished as i mentioned i thought it may have been something to do with andropause but my gp is adamant it's not

ta for your comments tho

FirstTimer4Me

hiya and ta for replying

RAS wrote: »

FT4M

Before you start worrying about the effects of absence of libido, can I suggest that you and your partner use this opportunity to explore other options?

There's more than one way to skin a cat and life "behind the bike shed" can be thoroughly entertaining.

we had a "very active" sex life before this issue

catkins

Well I am a woman with the same problem. I am in my 50's and going through the menopause. My doctor has put me on HRT but that is making no difference at all. I have seen 3 doctors and they just do not seem interested. I think they think that in my 50's I should not be interested in sex.

I have been married over 30 years and our sex life was good until 3 years ago. It has been less and less and now no full sex for over a year. My husband is being very patient (and we do do "other things") but I know he is not happy about it and neither am I.

FirstTimer4Me

catkins wrote: »

Well I am a woman with the same problem. I am in my 50's and going through the menopause. My doctor has put me on HRT but that is making no difference at all. I have seen 3 doctors and they just do not seem interested. I think they think that in my 50's I should not be interested in sex.

I have been married over 30 years and our sex life was good until 3 years ago. It has been less and less and now no full sex for over a year. My husband is being very patient (and we do do "other things") but I know he is not happy about it and neither am I.

i know how you feel and it does put a strain on a relationship no matter how understanding our partners may be it's not that i don't want sex i do but cannot find the energy / enthusium to have it.

Not_a_Newbie

I've heard ginseng might help.

Errata

my GP has referred me to a urology clinic (not sure what for so if anyone can advise)

The clinic will check that all the 'mechanic's are in full working order. HTH

FirstTimer4Me

Errata wrote: »

The clinic will check that all the 'mechanic's are in full working order. HTH

ah ok thanks

bundly

I don't understand the OP. He seems to be getting libido and erectile function mixed up, so let's get a few things straight...

Libido is the desire to have sexual activity (alone or with another).

Erectile function is the ability to get and maintain an erection.

Men who cannot get or keep an erection ususally have perfectly healthy libidos.

Men who have no desire for sex often have normal erectile function (for example upon waking).

The OP says he has a non existent libido. Well, Viagra cannot possibly help cure a lack of libido (ie desire). With Viagra, you need the "spirit to be willing". It can only help with the mechanics of erection, which it does by widening the blood vessels in the willie so the blood can get into it and make it hard.

That is all it does. I cannot and does not make anyone feel sexy, or make them desire sex.

As zenmaster correctly says, it is not an aphrodisiac.

If the OP's GP gave him Viagra to restore his desire for sex then the GP is an ignoramus who needs re-training.

I hope I have made this matter clear and that this helps the OP.