Boost Your Tesco Clubcard Points Discussion

PetuliaGristle

The Tesco Doctor.

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"

Listen; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and
the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and better
than a doctor and you get Clubcard points".

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He
deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for good
measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:




1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

Thank you for shopping at Tesco

:rotfl:

LittleBill

Oooh me sides ..... :rotfl:... very good!

megabagger

This is my first post so please don't be upset if I have done something wrong !!

Can someone pleae tell me about the Tesco Clubcard plus and how it works. I can't find anything on the Tesco website. Is it worth it?

Thanks

yellow_dog

don`t know whether this has been posted already but this coupon from toddler club works on the £3.97 value food blender

mm684

Hi - The current wine club posting works with half bottles + cans.
I spent less than £5 and got 375 points!
:beer:

marcellep

mm684 wrote: »

Hi - The current wine club posting works with half bottles + cans.
I spent less than £5 and got 375 points!
:beer:

Sorry I am lost a little can you explain

TheAble

marcellep wrote: »

Sorry I am lost a little can you explain

You mean the cans of French red wine no, which cost £1.25. I got some coupons from the wine club for 100 pts if you buy a French wine, so i think i may try this!

ali_r_2

I noticed a flyer for 1000 points with an instant savings account in store last night - you must apply and have £1000 in your account by 16.10.2007 at which point they will give you 500 points and then I think it was a year later if you still have that minimum balance they will give you another 500 points. Great deal if you are rich - thought I would mention it anyway.

pinkparrott

Just reading the above posts and i understand how the clubcard plus works, but like someone else asked would i be better having one of these for my tesco shopping than paying with a tesco credit card - which would earn me the most points?

2nd question - recently did anyone see the offer that tesco send out with the credit card statements saying that they were giving double points for all spending abroad, well i spent over £2000 on my credit card abroad (brought a lot of stuff back from france) and they have only given me 115 points - i didnt think this was enough ? what does everyone think please?

stphnstevey

Tesco Clubcard Plus is more pts (double pts). The Tesco Credit card pts are pants (I think even worse than just paying by cash and using a normal Tesco Clubcard)

PS - When you use the TCP card do the extra pts go on automatically, because they have stopped asking if you want the pts to go on that card as well?