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catkins

Kazipoo wrote: »

Surely if a person can afford to have a large family, they should have as many children as they want. And if they are doing their bit with regard to the planet, I don't see where the issue of size of families comes into it.

I know many "no children" coiuples that do not have any regard to our environment whatsoever. Couples without children may have different priorities, and I know saving the planet certainly wasn't one of mine before I married and had kids.

No, just being able to afford a large family does not entitle people to have large families. Because there are so many broken families when couples marry for the second (or third or fourth etc etc) time they usually have more children so more and more children are being born. This planet cannot cope with overpopulation. It is more cause for concern than anything else and yet nothing is done about it. We are told to wash and recycle our cans etc - what the hell use is that going to be?

Swampmonster

I thought I'd just tell you about my best friend.

She is 29 her fella is 63 and they have just had their first baby and its all going brilliantly even though his children from a previous relationship are older than her.

She was told she wouldn't be able to have any more children, he never expected to and things just happened!!!

You'll laugh even more when I tell you he used to be her Headmaster at Primary school and should have known about the birds and the bees.

So in conclusion, you are never too old!!

Good Luck

GemmaE

OP- I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a very much unplanned first baby, my first reaction was tears, fear OH would leave and OMG how will I cope. I actually thought I had a water infection, and didn't realise until 9 weeks that I was pg! I had also been promoted literally a week before at work, with quite a nice pay rise and responsibilty and was planning on going back to uni to do my degree part time to further improve my career.

I have been with OH for 8 years and we hadn't considered children yet, thought we would wait until we were in our thirties (thought 20s is too young for a baby, especially for OH).
Even though I was terrified at what would happen with everyone else as soon as I found out about the baby, and that she was OK (was admitted to A&E with a possible ectopic pregnancy when I found out) I knew in my heart that I could do nothing else but proceed with it. I told OH how I felt and also said I understood that he also had a decision to make, ie how involved he could be, and he is still here, and already spoiling our little girl on a regular basis, he just took a couple of weeks to let it sink in.

Also, medical problems can happen at any age, until Monday I had had a very easy PG, just feeling tired, however I was admitted to hospital with leaking waters and the real possibility of having our baby at 32 weeks.

Anyhow, I have gone off on a bit of a tangent, but as other people have said, OP it is your decision, and as long as you can live with your decision it will be the right one for you. I am not anti abortion, but it is not for me unless there are medical reasons, as I am not strong enough to deal with the consequences.,

Good luck OP, hope everything works out, if you need to talk to other people about going ahead with it why not try the MSE Preganncy club?

Torry_Quine

Glen0000 wrote: »

Please be aware that this service is run by an anti abortion group and WILL NOT give you unbiased advice. It is sickening that such groups prey on vunerable women.

Not true, they will talk you through all the options and not try to influence you in any way. Whatever you decide they will help in any way they can. I would encourage you to contact them.

Glen0000

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Not true, they will talk you through all the options and not try to influence you in any way. Whatever you decide they will help in any way they can. I would encourage you to contact them.

I beg to differ.......

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/nov/25/anti-abortion-schools

Although not explicitly an anti-abortion organisation, Care Confidential is another piece in the jigsaw. Claiming to offer a neutral service, "which helps teenagers think through what options are available to them and how they might feel about those options when faced with a crisis", the charity provides talks in schools. A bit of digging turns up some significant issues. First, Care Confidential is run by the charity Christian Action Research and Education (Care), whose charitable aims, as listed with the Charity Commission, are: "The advancement and propagation of the Christian Gospel and in particular Christian teachings as it bears on or affects national and individual morality and ethics." Second, the vast majority of stories from women who have had abortions that it publicises are negative, although it does publish all the stories it receives. And finally, despite research pointing to the significant and lasting psychological damage that can be faced by women who put their babies up for adoption, Care Confidential encourages young women to consider adoption as a positive alternative.

Torry_Quine

Glen0000 wrote: »

I beg to differ....

I'm sorry that you feel this way, but obviously nothing I say will change your view.

I would point out that each centre is independently run so are able to run services appropriate for the clients they see.

As I don't want to get into an arguement and detract from the OP's situation I will not make any further responses

LilacPixie

OP - from reading your posts I am seeing lots about how your OH feels. how HIS kids will feel and how HE thinks your kids will feel even although its the opposite of how you think they will react. Their also appears to be the suggestion that your OH will leave you if you opt to continue with this pregnancy.

I think you should do what you feel is best for you, afterall you are the one who will be dealing with the fall out from whatever choice you make. Being pregnant is not easy (in my experience) dealing and adjusting to a new arrival is hard no matter what age you are.

I would actually suggest if your OH would leave because you would not terminate then he is not someone you should be giving your love too.

flower24

hugs to the OP x x x

I think you definitely need to do what is right for YOU first and foremost. I know you have other kids to think about but I can't see your children completely ignoring their new sibling, even if they are a bit mad/embarassed at first, I'm sure they will come round. I think if you were to have an abortion because it was what your husband wanted then you would end up resenting him afterwards.

Big hugs I hope you're ok x

Kavanne

My mum was 41 when she had me 20 years ago. Nothing wrong with it!!! We still have fun together

jackieb

My grandma had her 9th baby when she was 44 (2 had been stillborn, one died when she was 17yo) She said it was one of the best things she'd ever done. Her eldest was 21yo when the last baby was born.

My 12yo son was furious when I told him I was pregnant with my daughter. He threatened to go live with my parents. He got over it. When she was born he was absolutely fine.