Is it "my debt" or "our debt"?

Ember999

In our house, all our money is ours, jointly, regardless of who earnt it or when. I handle the day to day banking/bill paying and have done since we married. When he met me he said 'it's a wife's job to look after the money, just like my mam did' and we have done that every since. It works for us. I can't see how you can be married and have seperate accounts, debts, savings etc. To me that is weird.

As others have said 'for better for worse, for richer, for poorer' and together we have done both.

You would never hear either of us say 'his money, her money etc.' Everything and I mean everything is OURS. We are married, enuff said.

Ember xx

nearlyrich

leni wrote:

I find it weird when people are together and have their seperate accounts and contribute towards the bills via a joint account and keep the left over wages for themselves!

Call me weird if you like everyone is different and what works in our relationship may not work in yours;) .

We pay a monthly amount into the joint account to cover bills,(£150 each currently) split the cost of shopping in half, and what's left is for that person to spend or save as they see fit. We both have children but not together so it seemed fair at the beginning to keep the finances seperate.

We have never had a row about money in 16 years and currently we have no debts joint or otherwise.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

We sometimes go out for a drink with friends, another couple who are also married.

It can be a bit embarressing when they buy drinks as there is a big drama over dividing it out "equally".

ie the husband goes to the bar buys 2 drinks with £5 of "his" money, then returns and says to his wife your drink was £1.35. She then searches through her purse to pay for her drink with "her money". After paying him the £1.35 she begins her drink.

All this going on while me and my wife and other guests watch in a mixture of disbelief and try not to openly laugh.

It gets complicated when they buy a bag of peanuts with the drink as well,as the wife can rightly say to him why should she pay for half the bag of peanuts when she did not eat half of them (he tends to eat more of them than her though she eats a few)

There then follows a 10 minute calculation process to evaluate who ate what percentage of peanuts and therefore what their share of the cost should be.

wigginsmum

Blimey - that's just sad. They'll be arguing over the proportional costs of toilet paper next!

lynzpower

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote:

We sometimes go out for a drink with friends, another couple who are also married.

It can be a bit embarressing when they buy drinks as there is a big drama over dividing it out "equally".

ie the husband goes to the bar buys 2 drinks with £5 of "his" money, then returns and says to his wife your drink was £1.35. She then searches through her purse to pay for her drink with "her money". After paying him the £1.35 she begins her drink.

All this going on while me and my wife and other guests watch in a mixture of disbelief and try not to openly laugh.

It gets complicated when they buy a bag of peanuts with the drink as well,as the wife can rightly say to him why should she pay for half the bag of peanuts when she did not eat half of them (he tends to eat more of them than her though she eats a few)

There then follows a 10 minute calculation process to evaluate who ate what percentage of peanuts and therefore what their share of the cost should be.

Ok thats extreme! BUt if it works for them good-O

My grandparetns have seperate accounts, and share the billls which they write cheques to pay for. i was like, OMG why?? Grandad said, well otherwise she would have spent all ive earned by now (true) so at least we can afford to still live

wendyl1967

All our money goes into a joint account. It has since the day we married 16 years ago. I only earn about a quarter of what my husband earns as I work part time Iafter a 10 year break to be at home with our children) My husband has never paid a bill in all those years. I bet he does not even know where we bank!! I take care off all the money and budgeting so long as he has some money in his pocket for beer at the weekend he is happy.

The scary thing is, if I dropped dead he could not find half the money all in different accounts. I must sit him down soon and make sure he knows where it is. The kids have a standing joke that dad does not know where his money is. :rotfl:

wendyl1967

I used to work in a supermarket and often served couples who were arguing when they put stuff on the conveyor belt who was paying for what. I remember one couple arguing that I paid for the loo roll last week so it is your turn this week. Another couple argued that he had put too much food in the trolley as this week it was her turn to pay. When it is his turn he tries to do an economy shop. It used to amaze me:eek:

skylight

We are a We.

We both met very young - started with nothing - spent together - married each other - did the highs and the lows and the ultra-lows together.

We see that we are a team. Everything is collated and whats left over is split equally. Regardless of who earnt the most/least money over the years (and TBH, I have been the high earner over the years).

We accrued the debt togther - spent on each other etc etc etc.

I think you guys get the picture! Everything is ours.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Agree with that 100%.

Those couples who want to keep their own money separate.

Sometimes (but not always) I think its a sign that they don't have much faith in their partners financial judgements or not much faith in how long term the relationship is will be.

A couple should communicate and agree on their financial priorities with their money all in one pot.

wigginsmum

Although I agree with charlotte's sentiments regarding the We, what is important is that a practical method works for the people who choose it, be it a joint account, one partner managing the finances, completely separate, whatever. There's no right or wrong with this, however we might disagree with what another family does and think it wouldn't work for us.