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Is it "my debt" or "our debt"?

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  • MrsTinks
    MrsTinks Posts: 15,238 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    We have his debt and her debt :) His income and her income etc... all our debt was accrued before we met and I think it's important to both of us to prove that we can clear our own messes up before getting joint finances. However once I have cleared MY debt then I'll help him clear his quicker so we'll BOTH be Debt Free :) Untill then it works for us to have things seperate so I guess it's each to their own :)
    DFW Nerd #025
    DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's! :)

    My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey
  • wigginsmum
    wigginsmum Posts: 4,150 Forumite
    DH doesn't want to handle any household money - we get paid into our current accounts and then he transfers an amount to me as all the household stuff comes out of my current account too. We consider debt, expenses and child maintenance for his kids to be joint; ditto with any savings. We've looked at a joint account but he freely admits he wouldn't save receipts or check how much is in there, so it's safer this way.
    The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. An ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.
  • My partner and I both have our own bank accounts, and he meets the majority of the running costs of the house. I contribute a set amount and buy the food/cleaning materials/toiletries - usually costing around £100 now I'm a conformed MSE!

    I have debts - he doesn't, so I wouldn't expect him to pay towards debts that I've stupidly run up and have nothing to do with him. He helps in other ways by buying treats like weekends away, takeaways and holidays that I otherwise couldn't afford.

    I think it's each to their own really, whatever works for you.
    Its nice to be important but more important to be nice!
  • nomoneytoday
    nomoneytoday Posts: 4,871 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    What's ours is hers, and what's mine is also hers ;)
  • tanith
    tanith Posts: 8,091 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I too am one of those that has my own account , dh and I transfer an amount each into a joint acc to pay bills and also build up a small amount for paying unexpected bills... and then we pay for food shopping alternating weeks, this way we each decide what happens to our spare cash.. I save, he spends , this way there are no disagreements about money in our house... he is slowly coming round to my way of thinking regarding saving and is trying hard to change his habits... he has managed to give up smoking for 5 weeks now and that has given his money situation a surprising boost.....
    FINGERS CROSSED:T
    #6 of the SKI-ers Club :j

    "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Edmund Burke
  • moggins
    moggins Posts: 5,190 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    He earns it, I spend it. :D

    That's not quite true but I am a SAHM in complete charge of all the finances, he asks me if it's okay when he wants to spend money as he knows I know exactly what we owe where and how much will be available as free money.

    Even when we both had jobs and I earned more than him we got a joint account as soon as possible, we now have four bank accounts but they are all in joint names.
    Organised people are just too lazy to look for things

    F U Fund currently at £250
  • flea72
    flea72 Posts: 5,392 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My wifes debt is my debt and her savings are my savings and my debts are her debts and my savings are her savings and the same with our income.

    After all together in sickness and health "for richer or poorer"............its in the vows.

    One team finacially and otherwise. We get rich together, we get poor together.

    We would not want it any other way.

    totally agree with you.

    i cant see how relationships can work, where one or other of them has the financial upper hand.

    Flea
  • wigginsmum
    wigginsmum Posts: 4,150 Forumite
    I think it's down to the preference of the people involved. My parents had one joint account but my Mum handled all the money; Dad didn't want to know (never wrote a cheque or had a credit/debit card in his life) - as long as he got weekly petrol/newspaper/boiled sweets pocket money, he was perfectly happy. DH operated rather like this in his first marriage and said he liked it that way, so I'm happy to do that. It doesn't show a lack of commitment or unwarranted control - it's about what works for each family. We still regard everything as joint but we prefer me to handle it.
    The ability of skinny old ladies to carry huge loads is phenomenal. An ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.
  • lynzpower
    lynzpower Posts: 25,311 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    why would anyone be having the upper hand flea? Im just interested you mean as I havent thought of this, maybe IM missing something?
    :beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:
  • Jessiepig
    Jessiepig Posts: 211 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    :rotfl: I always thought what is his is mine and whats mini is me own. LOL
    Works for me:rotfl:
    We have a joint account that pays all bills and my wages go into my acount(which I opened when I ran my own business.) but i pay for food, stuff my two girls need, holidays and christmas
    £2 saver club, over £200 now:
    1p a day increase saving. Paid up to middle April
    :j
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