Is it "my debt" or "our debt"?

DrEvil_2

My wife and I have separate accounts. We have a joint account but that's mainly used to transfer money between us.

I pay all bills except food. I also usually pay for the meal when we go out.That's seem to work for us.

LJD1_2

We have a joint account and joint debt but we have a separate account for the child allowance to try and keep money for shoes, kids clothes, swimming lessons etc. I also have a separate business account but put all the profits into the joint account each month. We did it this way when i stopped working to have the children but since i've gone back to work we've not changed it was it works for us. I guess that's the key, if it works for you and you're happy ......

calleyw

nearlyrich wrote:

Not all marriage ceremonies take place using the wording as quoted, I don't feel our marriage is less valid because we don't pool our finances....

I agree with nearlyrich 100%.

Before I met and married my husband we each had are own bank accounts with bank and credit cards. Once we bought a property together we had a joint account and all household bills are paid from that account.

My marriage is not any less trusting or valid because we don't pool all our money. My husband knows where my bank books etc so can see how much money I have at any time. My husband trusts me totally and I trust him. Even though I have access to the offset on the mortgage which is a largish sum. He knows that I would never spend. How we choose to run are finanaces are nobodies business but our own.

I have my own expenses and want to control them my way. I personally would feel that all my control for my own money would be gone if it all went in one pot. Also I want to feel independent which I would not if we pooled all money. Also I don't want my husband to know how much I spend on presents for him.

Just because I have own current account does not mean that I am going to run off and leave my husband;)

It is about what works best for each couple. I might ask my husband for some money to put towards presents etc. My husband if he could afford it would give me all his money and vice versa.

To me if debts are run up to maintain a couples lifestyle then they are our debts but if they are run because as an individual you spend on clothes, makeup etc because you don't want just the basics but always the best. Then to me it is my debt and not anyone elses debt.

But it is a case of each to their own.


Yours


Calley

stebiz

All interesting stuff. Can I ask those that 'pool everything' what would you do if the other half wanted to buy something you disagree with. In my instance I like football and buy expensive tickets. I also like a game of blackjack. My wife likes neither. If we had had a 'pot' with £200 left in it and I blew it at the match/pub then my wife would quite rightly go mad. However if this was left after my wages had been split 50/50 she wouldn't care what I did with it. Same applies with me and her attitude towards clothes..........;)

Regards
Stebiz

lynzpower

good question Stebiz

and also what happens around birthdays anniversaries or planning surprises?

"lynz whats this payment to amazon for"
" lynz what have you been buying from boots"

I dont keep secrets, but I do like to surprise my OH

Donedoingdebt

Separate accounts me & OH. We just split all bills & day to day expenses down the middle. The debt on my sig was all accrued before we met about 8 years ago & so that's mine to deal with. The second we ever open a joint account then we're financially linked with the result being that her credit rating will be as bad as mine.

calleyw

lynzpower wrote:

I dont keep secrets, but I do like to surprise my OH

I agree Lynz that is how I feel.

I don't want my husband to know how much everything was that I bought him.

I also buy presents for all the family for birthdays and christmas and then I get half out of him as that is what our personal accounts are for. Not the joint account.


Yours


Calley

lynzpower

Especially when you find a real bargain eh Calley?

LOL I *bought* OH a present off ebay which never came ( at Xmas) and it went through the whole dispute process, which he had to help sort out, he was like how much was it, i was like, er 1.20 hes like "god what a bargain!!" I was like " er yeah, nothing but the best for my baby" Still a bit, well not romantic.

I am going to take him out for a meal for his birthday and I am going to pay for it. It is going to be expensive, but its another thing Im making sacrifices for. I certainly do NOT want him seeing how much it costs, as I know he will say "we could eat for 2 months for that". Which is true, but I want this one to sparkle, not be something that we end up stressing over IYSWIM

clairey_em

We pool everything. All our money goes into one acount. I am in charge of the money and OH is happy for me to do that, mainly as I'd go mad if I didn't know what was going on. But I do tell him exactly what I'm doing and why, for example he knows why we only spend x amount shopping, and x amount on going out and we get an equal amount every week. I take all the money out at the beginning of the week so he's got what he needs for travel etc, and it also means that both of us don't keep taking the odd tenner out here and there and he doesn't have to 'ask' for money. These are the systems we have put in place to deal with our debt. So although I am in charge of the cash he knows exactly what's going on, why and what our goals are.

Regarding wanting bigger more expensive things, be it me or him, we just discuss it and see if we can afford it, and whether it's essential. I hate saying no to him as he hardly ever wants anything, but he has a tendency to attend every social event going so have to put my foot down.

Seems to work for us, and I guess as we are married we are to share responsibilty for our debts.

calleyw

lynzpower wrote:

Especially when you find a real bargain eh Calley?

Totally agree.

I am a very naughty and buy a little bit more because it was a bargain.

My husband asks me what I live off as I have no income at the moment. Umm what I make from cash back sites. Which is not a lot :rotfl:

A good job I don't have expensive tastes.


Yours


Calley