Is this unreasonable re maintenance?

Loopy_Girl

Ah you're okay - don't worry about it!! No offence taken I can assure you!!:D

GobbledyGook

Hi all

Thought I'd update you as I've been a busy bee over the past few days.

I got copies of all the statements from the savings and income and investment stuff. My legal eagle friend helped me work out the income and what was in my name.

Got my tax credit form sorted and sent away.
Been to look at 2 different rental houses - 1 of which is very promising and MIL and I are going to look at again this weekend.
Managed to get a cancellation at CAB, but didn't find them very useful. The woman was very much "take him for what you can get" and was insistent the girls and I should be back in the house.
Got a recommendation for a good solicitor, made and appointment and had a phone consultation with him. He is happy with our tide over arrangement for now.
Spoke to the ex about finishing off the Christmas Shopping and discussed what to do about presents (i.e should we get seperate ones) and he offered to get the last ones from him so I've officially finished my shopping (A good thing as I hate shopping)
Had a lovely conversation with my FIL (not a man who talks about feelings much) in which he told me that I'd always be his only "daughter" no matter what. They have also offered to have my girls every 2nd Friday night as a regular option to give me a guaranteed night off even if I don't have plans (on top of general babysitting as and when).
I braved the local toddler group with my youngest, generally I just stuck with friends and don't have any/many mummy friends, and actually enjoyed it.

Had lots of tears and am not massively liking living alone (obv with my girls but you know what I mean) as I've never done it before. Keep having to get out of bed to double check windows and doors. Will get used to it though.

Thanks again folks. Gemma x

Loopy_Girl

Gemma, I've lived away from the house for 16 years now and I still do that!!! I am only just coming round to the idea of having a TV in my bedroom as before I was scared I couldn't hear what was going on in the rest of the house!!!!

All sounding good though and defo take advantage of the every 2nd Friday as there will be a time that you will want to get out and about again and I agree, those Mum and toddler sessions can be a nightmare (god, talk about competition about whose little angel is doing what first:rolleyes:) but stick in as you will meet new people and new chums.

Honestly, I'm like a puffed up parent!! I'm so proud of you and how much stronger and assertive and brave you are getting!! Read back your first post and you'll see how far you have come:D

Thanks for the update and please stay on the forum...get involved in the banter!! Always particularly fun if me and DX2 are a bit tiddly and in front of the PC!!!!! There's LOADS of sections to this site, it's really good and you can literally spend hours reading it so make sure you have a rake through and see what else takes your fancy...

LG xx

zzzLazyDaisy

Hi Gemma, thanks for the update and (((((big hugs))))))

You are being so brave, you are a strong, beautiful, caring young woman, and you will come through all this - just remember it is okay sometimes to succumb to those hurt, confused, angry feelings, occasionally, it is normal.

We are coming up to christmas and it is the worst time to be alone. Do try to keep busy - and well done you for starting to make social links. I don't know where you live, but have a look on the internet and see if there is a SPICE group near you - don't worry it isn;t a singles group, or an outward bound type of thing! It is a social and activity group, but plenty of people go on their own, and there is usually lots happening. Something to think about for the future, maybe?

Re being in the house alone, have you considered getting a dog, when you move? It doesn;t have to be a big fierce guard dog, but it might be company for you and maybe you'd feel more secure. Just a thought.

Keep posting, there is usually someone around on here

Love from cyber-mum-2 :-))

xxx

Kimitatsu

Good for you Gemma

Really pleased for you - LG, move over on that puffed up parent seat, I need to be on it too

When I split up with my ex husband I though I would never get out/meet new friends/ my life would be very quiet, but you know I was like you, I got myself together and like Loopy says once you ignore the my child is better than yours stuff there are some good things going on with toddler groups. (Mind you nowadays, I spend my time saying I know DS1 and 2 are no angels but.......:rotfl:)

I am sooo pleased that your inlaws have kept up the contact, it will be a great help to you, because sometimes we all need a bit of time to be a grown up, even just going to the pictures to watch a film that isnt a U or a PG rating sometimes is all it needs. Crying time is also allowed, for me, its put on a weepy film, bottle of wine and a box of tissues, I always feel better afterwards, and keep up the friendships that you have - sometimes we all need a rant!!

Daisy has a good point about a dog (I have several) but I know that if anyone comes within 1/2 a mile of the house they are all up and listening (we do live in the stix!) so I dont worry too much.

Have you checked out the money savers arms? Just goes to show that care in the community works :rotfl: there is a families board, lots of money saving boards (old style money saving is always really friendly and no question is too daft - I know cos I have asked most of them!) and the grabbit board is great for glitches and absolute bargains.

Keep posting and let us know how you do

GobbledyGook

You are all blooming fab so you are!!

My girls would love a dog, but don't think my cats would be very impressed lol! I'm sure I'll get used to it. It's just the first time in my life I've been the only adult in the house for anything more than a night or two.

I'm having a good wander around the boards. I think people would have been horrified at the amounts we were spending <shamedfaceicon> I'll certainly be becoming a bit more spend-wise no matter what the situation is. There's loads of things I'd never ever thought of - especially the cleaning products! I spend a fortune on brand name stuff and the old style board has given me a few cracking tips.

Tonight as I'm child free I am going to paint the town red!! Well actually I'm in my PJ's having had an hour long bath waiting for my pizza to be delivered and I'm going to watch Beaches with a box of tissues and wine

Gem x

whitewing

Sounds like a perfect night in to me.

Sensemaya

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I'm in my PJ's having had an hour long bath waiting for my pizza to be delivered and I'm going to watch Beaches with a box of tissues and wine

Gem x

Hi Gem

That sounds wonderful.

May I recommend the film 'The Ghost and Mrs Muir' for future viewing?

If I won the lottery I would build a house just like the one in the film. Sometimes I pause the film to look at it. And I wouldn't mind having the ghost of a sea captain haunting me either.:A

x

PS. I'm currently listening to this music. Forget about watching the film...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VshOhV8aVbc

Enjoy - it's very relaxing.

zzzLazyDaisy

You have a great evening Gem,

You're doing well to browse the OS boards - it's worth looking for ways to save the pennies - so you can afford to go to the hairdressers and have some edgy funky new hairstyle, maybe go a bit Goth, I'm thinking maybe some tasteful pale blue streaks and perhaps some new clothes, maybe something black and suggestive of something going on underneath. Then when OH next calls in to pick the girls up you can say.. lovely to see you but gotta dash, am meeting *someone* <wicked grin>

PS I'm the one who is granny to various acquired bambinos

Bonny1

Wow, I'm exhausted reading this thread, and now I've just realised that it's a December '09 post.. lol lol

I really just wanted to ask if anyone had heard from Em, Gobbaldygook, and her girls? how are they getting on... 6 months on..

kind regards

Bonny