Stupid, unrealistic and many other things

redsquirrel80

Not sure if this is the thread you were looking for? http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2106413

bloojeans

Redsquirrel, wow thanks ive been and had a look, thats going to be real handy thankyou.

Is it just me or does hope and determination give everyone a new lease of life. Ive gutted my kitchen and sitting room today :eek::eek::eek: the muck and behind the cooker :eek: minging. Feel as if ive had a weight lifted off my shoulders and i havnt done anything yet to sort out my finances. Well not with cash anyway, but made progress in my head. Mam has invited us for tea tomorrow night, as she lives in the next street to me. So tomorrow i am planning on a NO SPEND DAY :j.

Im amazed what talking to complete strangers and recieving thier support can do, and knowing that you are not alone.

This site is a Fabulous place to be. It restores your faith in the world. There are people around, who "actualy" do give a damn

xxx :A

Nitha

You sound like me 3 years back - I was such a baby when it comes to money, so I got my other half to be my financial 'parent'. Essentially he took all my money, paid bills etc and gave me back the rest in weekly installments. It's degrading but it works. When I had my son my attitude to money changed and I now look after my own money. Do you have a partner/parent/person you trust to be a financial parent for you?

Ames

I think that sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than friends, you don't have to worry about them judging you or changing their opinion of you, or that they'll just say what you want to hear so that they don't upset you.

bloojeans

Nitha wrote: »

You sound like me 3 years back - I was such a baby when it comes to money, so I got my other half to be my financial 'parent'. Essentially he took all my money, paid bills etc and gave me back the rest in weekly installments. It's degrading but it works. When I had my son my attitude to money changed and I now look after my own money. Do you have a partner/parent/person you trust to be a financial parent for you?

Hiya Nitha, yes my daughter is going to go through it all with me and see whats what and what we can sort out.

thankyou x

zzzLazyDaisy

Bloojeans, it is a bit like smoking you have to WANT to give up your addiction to spending, no-one else can do it for you - but they CAN support and encourage you once you have made the decision.

Gemqueen

Hi, Bloo - some of the things listed below helped me - Good for you for making the first step!

Best Wishes, GQ xx

Know What You Own

Take some time to organize what you own by straightening and inventorying from the cupboards to your closets and drawers. The next time you decide to go shopping check out what you already own. By the time you finish looking through all your past purchases you will be too exhausted to go shopping for more things you do not need.
Get Rid of the Plastic
Adopt a "cash-only" policy or use your debit card when you shop. Credit cards add to the temptation to spend more than you can afford. Close your department and store credit cards. Not getting the special offers in your monthly credit card statements from your favorite stores will help cut the temptation to shop.
Avoid Shopping When Bored or Depressed

Hitting the stores when we are down in the dumps or just plain bored can result in buying more stuff we do not need. Divert that unspent energy into something more positive and self indulgent such as taking a long bath, browsing the library for a good book or movie, exercising, or inviting a friend over for coffee and good conversation. If you find you have a lot of time on your hands try volunteering for something that interest you.

Bring a List
Whether you go to the grocery store or to the supermarket, take time to make a list of the things you need - not things you want. It is helpful to make the list, then edit it and make a second list. Once inside the stores, stay focused and only buy the items on your list. See something else you think you need? Go home, check what you have and make certain you really do need it. You can always go back the next day to buy it.
Watch Where You Shop
When it is time to go grocery shopping, go to a grocery store. When shopping for groceries at stores like Asda etc the temptation to pile non-grocery items into your cart can be too much for even the average shopper. The savings you might find on food will quickly disappear with the other non-food items you've loaded into the cart.
Avoid Shopping With Other Spendaholics
Shopping with someone with bad spending habits will influence our shopping habits. You can always go do something else with that person which doesn't include spending money recklessly. Instead shop with a frugal friend who often leaves stores empty handed.
Remember - You Don't Need it Today

Many times when we allow time to think about our purchases, we end up realizing it is not something we really need today. By putting the item on hold or just leaving it until the following day, we may decide it isn't something we really have to have. Used to using the, "I can always return it" logic? The fact is, spendaholics almost never return anything they purchase, at least not within the time limits for a full cash refund.
Pay Your Bills Before You Shop
Going shopping with friends? Allow time before you go to pay your bills and review your checking account and current credit card balances. A dose of reality before you hit the stores will help curtail the desire to spend money on non-necessities.
Identify the Purpose
Part of breaking the habit of shopping is by knowing why you are buying something. When identifying the purpose of what you are buying ends up being vague, put it down. You can always go back and buy it when you know why you need it.

• Examples of buying an item for a purpose:
  - I need a present for a birthday party I am attending next week.
• Example of buying an item without a purpose:
  - I may need a present for a birthday party next year.

Try Shopping Like Most Men (Sorry Guys)!!!
I know this will be a difficult one, but here is how a lot of men shop: They drive to the shop, go inside, get the item they came for, go to the check-out, pay for the item and leave. They don't have to walk down all the aisles in the store! They don't shop, they buy. I know, boring, but it saves money.

bloojeans

Ames wrote: »

I think that sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than friends, you don't have to worry about them judging you or changing their opinion of you, or that they'll just say what you want to hear so that they don't upset you.

Hiya Ames, yes i agree with you, and that most everyone is in the same boat or have been, helps a lot too Not that everyone has arrived here by the same route though.

Well i have to say night night for now, its night-shift for me tonight. Catch up with every one in the morning.

Have a good eveing all

xxx

foxgloves

Bloojeans, glad you are feeling all newly hopeful. Once you have truly sorted out a proper budget, and made sure that your spending money each month only comes from what you have left over after all essential bills, food, and if possible, putting a little bit away to help with emergencies, then you CAN get youself off this destructive course of spending. Realising that it isn't making you happy & has to stop is the most important thing. Best of luck with it from an ex big spender x

yellowduck_2

evening Bloojeans,how's it going? Have been reading your posts and can identify so much with your shopping struggles. Hope you keep up with the "Three things", I try to do it eveyday, I came to realise that I never thought of anything material when I did this, it was always something like a sunset, a funny text, my neighbour' baby giggling. I think having the laptop as a goal is great, I saved up for mine and I love it, feel so proud that I did not get into debt to own it . Anyway it's getting late so off to bed soon. My electric blanket awaits, one more thing that I am very thankful for!!