Stupid, unrealistic and many other things

bloojeans

Hiya like many others i having been reading for a while and have decided to post. I have not posted before as im not sure of the reaction i will get but what ever it is i need some help to sort it.

I am not masivly in debt and i can afford to live and pay my way . But my problem is I dont want to be careful and im not. :eek::eek::eek: This causes me untold problems as i spend my money for my bills on ?!?!?! nothing major and end up in SH*T. I have sorted myself out many times just to do the same thing over again. As it stands at the moment, i have no money and two weeks topay day. Now i knew this was going to happen when i was spending but it did not stop me !!!!!!!! I know all the downside of what i am doing, i just dont seem to care ? but i do care as Im sick and tired of going through this. Is there any hope for me or do i need to see a shrink.

I am sure most of you will want to say, we all want to spend our money and not pay our bills but thats not how it works. I do know that, I just dont seem able to do it.

Thankyou for reading

Little_Vics

yes there is hope for you if you sort yourself out. Either decide to take it seriously or don't. If you do, post an soa and let us help you. One small thing you can do is arrange for all your bills to go out by direct debit the day after you get paid, so at least they are covered.

redsquirrel80

Hi Bloojeans, welcome and well done for posting. You know it's a problem which is a good first step - nobody's going to judge you. Do you know why you spend like you do? Do you think you might be depressed and trying to cope with it with your spending behaviour? It's nothing to be ashamed of if you are - many many people have been the same.

Would it help you to have something to focus on, e.g. to save towards?

savingmummy

There is hope because you know what your doing and you know the consequences!
My tip would be to start limiting what you can `spend` and gradually lower the amount until it is a comfortable amount.
Maybe open another bank account one for bills and needy things and the other for you to `spend freely.
I`m sure others will have good advise but for now you have made a start by recognising it is a problem and admitting to it - well done x

bloojeans

Little_Vics wrote: »

yes there is hope for you if you sort yourself out. Either decide to take it seriously or don't. If you do, post an soa and let us help you. One small thing you can do is arrange for all your bills to go out by direct debit the day after you get paid, so at least they are covered.

I have decided to take it seriously, which is why i have decided to post. I dont need to do a SOA. As i said I can pay my bills and pay my way. That is not my problem. My problem is that is spend my bill money instead of paying my bills. This may the wrong site to be on ? I dont know. Thankyou for your advice and will read and reply to all.

bloojeans

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Hi Bloojeans, welcome and well done for posting. You know it's a problem which is a good first step - nobody's going to judge you. Do you know why you spend like you do? Do you think you might be depressed and trying to cope with it with your spending behaviour? It's nothing to be ashamed of if you are - many many people have been the same.

Would it help you to have something to focus on, e.g. to save towards?

hiya and thanks for your reply. I have no idea why i spend as i do. My mam always hid debt from my dad, so dont know if that has a baring on the issue. Mam would always ask us when the post came to put it in her bedside cabinet, until she came in from work ?. I know what i am doing is wrong, just dont know how to put it right. i do have lots and lots of free time, i work shift work and have no children at home. So this does not help the situation.

bloojeans

savingmummy wrote: »

There is hope because you know what your doing and you know the consequences!
My tip would be to start limiting what you can `spend` and gradually lower the amount until it is a comfortable amount.
Maybe open another bank account one for bills and needy things and the other for you to `spend freely.
I`m sure others will have good advise but for now you have made a start by reconising it is a problem and admitting to it - well done x

I do pay what i can by DD my husband get paid monthly and most DD come out after he has been paid. I get paid 4 weekly so dates move around, this is where i get tempted, because sometimes money has to sit in the bank for a week or two before going out to be paid. I like the idea of a spend freely bank account. I will look into that one.

thankyou

zzzLazyDaisy

You remind me of my son. He has enough money coming in (not loads, but more than me) and could manage if he wanted to, even he admits that. But he spend his bill money on stuff he doesn't really need and then uses his overdraft to pay the bills. But then he doesn't seem to see any reason why he should pay the overdraft off. And eventually when he has maxed out his overdraft and can't pay his bills he comes to me.

I have said no this time.

The reason is because I have offered to sit down with him and work out a budget so he knows exactly what he has to spend each week, and how much he has spare for 'stuff'. But he refuses to work out an SOA, or acknowledge that he is spending more than he has coming in. It is a worry to me, but I live within my means and only spend what I can afford.

Boring, I know, but at least I can pay my bills......

Only you can decide if you are happy living like this, or if you want to take control of your finances, but I do sincerely wish you all the best.

Daisy

bloojeans

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

You remind me of my son. He has enough money coming in (not loads, but more than me) and could manage if he wanted to, even he admits that. But he spend his bill money on stuff he doesn't really need and then uses his overdraft to pay the bills. But then he doesn't seem to see any reason why he should pay the overdraft off. And eventually when he has maxed out his overdraft and can't pay his bills he comes to me.

I have said no this time.

The reason is because I have offered to sit down with him and work out a budget so he knows exactly what he has to spend each week, and how much he has spare for 'stuff'. But he refuses to work out an SOA, or acknowledge that he is spending more than he has coming in. It is a worry to me, but I live within my means and only spend what I can afford.

Boring, I know, but at least I can pay my bills......

Only you can decide if you are happy living like this, or if you want to take control of your finances, but I do sincerely wish you all the best.

Daisy

Thankyou Daisy, and can i say "good for you sayong no" as hard as that might be. Maybe my mam and daughter should say no to me and that would be the kick up the but i would need. Yes im ashamed to say ( and i am ashamed) that my daughter does help me out from time to time. I always pay back what i have borrowed but thats no excuse. i am so glad my daughter has not picked up my bad habits. I am not happy living like this and i am making a big effort to get it sorted this time and stay sorted.

Thankyou

bloojeans

my post has just arrived and made me more determined. One from sky to say DD been returned unpaid, they will try again in a few days. It would have been there if i had not spent it, It wont be there in a few days either as i have not got it to put in. Also a letter from Capital One to say a payment has been missed. HOW STUPID IS THIS not only am i putting myself through this time and time again, i am not doing my credit file any good at all.

jennihen

Hi Bloojeans - I plan my whole month's spending in advance with the aim of treating myself at the end of the month. I spend an evening doing this (with a bottle of wine to keep me company!!) and every week i check I'm on track.
I bet if you added up all the bank charges you've had to pay for missed DD's it'll add up to a fair amount which could have been spent on lovely things for yourself.
Make it your NY's resolution to deal with the finances in advance rather than after each little hiccup!!
Good luck
JH