Stupid, unrealistic and many other things

bloojeans

jennihen wrote: »

Hi Bloojeans - I plan my whole month's spending in advance with the aim of treating myself at the end of the month. I spend an evening doing this (with a bottle of wine to keep me company!!) and every week i check I'm on track.
I bet if you added up all the bank charges you've had to pay for missed DD's it'll add up to a fair amount which could have been spent on lovely things for yourself.
Make it your NY's resolution to deal with the finances in advance rather than after each little hiccup!!
Good luck
JH

Hiya you are spot on with the bank charges. On many occasions i have had £100 of bank charges in one month :eek::eek::eek:. Soooo stupid, yes i could have used that on treats and savings. Savings are 0. Not 1p behind me

Thankyou

zzzLazyDaisy

As others have said, WELL DONE for recognising there is a problem. It is the first step.

Sometimes people spend because they don't have something in their life that grabs their enthusiasm and makes their life seem worthwhile (I'm not saying this is the case for you, but there is a reason behind this - do you know what it is?)

Perhaps if you can make a challenge for yourself to save a bit of money here and there by cooking from scratch, or making savings in other areas, you can then reward yourself with some 'guilt free' spending money? I can promise you, that if you 'earn' your spending money in this way, you will find that suddenly you don't want to fritter it away on 'stuff' and you will enjoy what you buy with it much more. If you go over to OS board, there are lots of ways to save money without going without, you don't have to jump in headfirst into the whole caboodle! Just choose one thing and once it has become a part of your normal routine and life, choose something else.

I would also second the separate account. I always had a joint account with my OH. Enough money was paid into that account each month to pay all the bills (we worked out our bills over a whole year and divided that by 12). So yes, there was always money floating in that account, because there were always bills which hadn't yet been paid, but the rule was we NEVER touched that account, no matter how hard up we were. If you are not sure enough that you can do that right now, then have the account set up so you need two signatures for withdrawals, and don't have a cash card.

Then we had our own separate personal accounts with money for doing what we wanted with - a spend freely account.

But I would urge you to keep a spending diary. Write down everything you spend, even a pint of milk or a magazine, and see where the money goes. That will help you to feel more in control.

You are doing well, it is a first step, just keep putting one foot in front of the other....

frosty

Hi,I have two accounts,I pay my wages into one account and then I transfer a set amount to last me the month into the other account.This way I know all DD will be paid:D.I then draw a weekly amount in cash and once its spent its spent and thats it until the following week,since I stopped using my debit card to pay for things I seem to think before I spend,handing over cash seems different to a bit of plastic.Think how much more money you could spend on you if you were not paying bank charges.

caeler

bloojeans wrote: »

I dont need to do a SOA. As i said I can pay my bills and pay my way. That is not my problem.

You'd be surprised what a SOA can help with. I do mine regularly and it helps me find the error of my ways as I'm always slipping away from my good intensions, that I shouldn't be paying so much for Gas, Electric, etc and also helped me consider the 'need' to have sky!

Good luck on your journey!

bloojeans

Thankyou Daisy, its a lot to take on board as the pull to spend is always with me. I will look on the OS board not sure what that is but i'll go have a look. I do think i have and active Halifax account that is not in use, i will go look for the card now. Spending diary, sounds a good idea, but i'll have to be strong to write everything in it.

I love to cook but usualy "cant be bothered" . But thats me all over "i cant be bothered". I am good at most things i turn my hand too. diy, decorating most things really. The two things i cant seem to do is control is my spending and eating. But that is about to change. i have too much free time. I must look into filling it with "non spending things".

Thankyou

bloojeans

frosty wrote: »

Hi,I have two accounts,I pay my wages into one account and then I transfer a set amount to last me the month into the other account.This way I know all DD will be paid:D.I then draw a weekly amount in cash and once its spent its spent and thats it until the following week,since I stopped using my debit card to pay for things I seem to think before I spend,handing over cash seems different to a bit of plastic.Think how much more money you could spend on you if you were not paying bank charges.

Hiya, yes i realy need to transfer my spending money and learn not to go back to DD account for more when it runs out. The things i do buy i dont even need, thats another stupid thing as well. It would be a big help to me not to take my debit card out with me, leaving it home would be no good for me, i would probably at this early stage just go and get it, but i could give it to DH and tell him not to give to me until, the following friday ? Found the Halifax card

kate_pixie

bloojeans wrote: »

The two things i cant seem to do is control is my spending and eating. But that is about to change. i have too much free time. I must look into filling it with "non spending things".

Like everyone else said, well done on posting.

I completely understand where you're coming from. I will spend every last penny I have, and it's taken me 11 months of this year to get straight by opening several accounts to put budgets for separate things in.

I just wanted to make a suggestion to fill up your free time. Like you, my two downfalls are spending and eating, the two go hand in hand. Perhaps you could fill your free time with cooking, like I do. Making big batches of gorgeous food from scratch at the weekend keeps me away from the shops, indulges my love of good food and means that there's always a ready meal in the freezer when I can't be bothered during the week.

I wish you the best in tackling your demons :T xx

bloojeans

Ok I am going for a "spend as little as possible" day today. I have had a look around the kitchen cupboards and all I need spend today is £2 !!!! lets see how it goes

Thankyou all

bloojeans

Kate, thankyou for your input, i am definatley looking at splitting my money up and having a different account, for spending. I just cannot go on like this. Spending and Eating, yes i have read a lot on this issue but it has not got me anywhare. I love cooking so yes I am going to do more of that.

What tactics did you use when you felt the pull to spend on things that you did not need.

Thankyou

kate_pixie

Hmmm tactics eh? Personally I still have none! I have come to terms with the fact that I will always be bad with money and fritter it away on carp.

What I have done is to limit the amount available to me, and then feel no guilt in frittering, lol. At payday I've put money into each account for separate things, savings, car maintainence, christmas etc, leaving only "my" money for the month. It takes discipline, which is a word I don't like, but knowing that I have a little pot of money to spend on whatever I like helps me.

You should come and join us on the Weekly Spend Challenge. I've found this a great help in reducing my weekly allowance for rubbish. Oooh and challenges.....these are a great help. I'm quite competitive by nature, and therefore find trying to beat myself week on week a great little game (I'm sad I know!).