Tete en l’Air’s Feet On The Ground Diary

Tete_en_l'Air

Cinny91 wrote: »

I think you're VERY brave! And thats just because you got a fringe cut in a while back!

Haha, or foolhardy Colin! I still haven't decided if I like my stupid hair!

Dinah93 wrote: »

I think Lara raises a good point though, you really need to visit the country before you agree to move there! I really think a good and sensible compromise would be agreeing to go next year or the one after, go for an aus holiday in the meantime, and rent somewhere together for a year before you go.

Well yes, this is pretty much my POA now. I'm not too worried about the settling part, I've lived in more 'difficult' places that Australia with no major culture shocks, and between us we have a house-deposit's worth of savings, I'm sure it'll work once we're there.

Birdie85

Glad you're feeling more chipper Tete! Sometimes it helps to write everything down and have a think rather than just panicking! I'd definitely want to visit first though, to do a reccy and decide where you want to live and work, but mainly just for the holiday!

LOL at Colin's (!!!) reasoning why you're brave Tete, although I'm inclined to agree, radical hair cuts (or just fringes,which are worse sometimes) do take bravery!

Dinah93

As much as anything Australia is very different apparently depending on the area, might be worth going to decide if you want city, beach or hills.

Cinny91

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Haha, or foolhardy Colin! I still haven't decided if I like my stupid hair!

Birdie85 wrote: »

LOL at Colin's (!!!)

I hope you don't all start calling me Colin now, I keep on giggling when I read it and getting funny looks!

I am a 19 year old girl with a make-up and europop problem I promise!

(and if it helps any, I like your hair! I wish I could have a fringe but I wear glasses and have a tubby face with them and a fringe!)

poddle911

Birdie85 wrote: »

Glad you're feeling more chipper Tete!

Me too! Sometimes things are much more confusing and scary when they're just in your head - a good chat over a cuppa and possibly a slice of cake sounds like just the job

It always makes me a little teary when people on these forums who have been too scared to admit huge debts or other problems confess all and their partners are really supportive.

I know you're not hiding some dark secret, but you know what I mean!

You're *only* 28 and you've got loads of time to fit in all the amazing things you want to do, so enjoy it! I think we're all guilty of wasting time worrying about reaching goals/sticking to plans/comparing our lives to others when actually different things happen at different times for different people - someone nearly as wise as Cinny told me that and it's so true!

Tete_en_l'Air

I know what you mean Poddle, OH was talking and talking and talking last night and I was sitting there with these half-formed thoughts in my head and I just burst into tears because I was so overwhelmed by it all (and probably a little hormonal), I'm sure he must think I'm going to say I don't want to do it after all so will probably a bit relieved when he hears what I have to say.

And you're right, you shouldn't compare yourself to others, I have one friend who's onto her second pregnancy, another who's onto her second, large, house and we're all the same age, and if I looked at what I've done and what they've done I might get a bit depressed/worried that I'm not progressing at the right pace, but when I look at my own life the only thing I don't like is that I'm still living in the town I grew up in ... which says to me that I'd love to move abroad! And actually I'd be depressed if buying wallpaper and prams were on my horizon anyway!

Swinstie73

Hey Tete, just popped out of lurkdom (cos I do still read) to say that all the girls have given good advice! Don't worry about not having had the talk, I only had the talk with my OH after 3 years together, I nearly finished with him cos things weren't progressing like 'normal' but at the end of the day, what is normal for some people isn't for others! I knew he wanted to be with me but because I didn't have a ring on my finger I started feeling like I was still going to be his 'burd' at 50 (I'm only 36 btw)! As for moving abroad, at the end of the day it's what you make of it, my sister emigrated to Canada at 19, still there 29 years later and is married with grown-up kids, her friend who she went with came home after 3 months, married and had kids too, both probably enjoy their lives though IYSWIM. Sometimes life is too short to hesitate, if it feels right, it probably is! Exciting stuff *pops back to my own boring life in lurkdom* x

Dinah93

Would you? They're both things you've expressed a desire to do. I certainly don't think having a baby is the equivalent of settling, people choose to start a family when they are at a happy, comfortable place in their lives and relationship. If your priority in life is moving abroad then jump at this chance, but if its a more traditional family then you need to make sure you have the talk first. I'll be honest here and admit I've never really got the whole moving abroad thing, it just feels like grass is greener syndrome, and what are people running from? Over half of Brits who emigrate move back within 18 months anyway. But then as I've said, I'm a home body! I don't think your way of doing things is any more or less valid than your friends, it is what works for you. My cousins are the same age as me and still go backpacking - they think this is beyond cool, and I just laugh because I can go the same places they go, but my case has wheels and I don't have to share a room with 6 strangers! They've told me they feel sorry for me for not experiencing 'true travelling' and I just smile because inside I wouldn't swap my life fortheirs for the world. 20s is a very transitiony age where you can explore what you want in life, just make sure you get what you want from it, and make sure if you're following your OHs dream you make sure he's on board with yours too.

Tete_en_l'Air

Hi Swinstie, nice to see you, yeah that's how I feel, I don't doubt for a second my relationship or how he feels about me, but if nothing had changed in the next five years I would feel 'strung along' somewhat! Hope the walking's going well!

Dinah, yes I want that, not for a few years still but I just need to know it'll happen, which is why we need to have this showdown. It's not running away from anything, just wanting to see and experience as much as possible, life is short. Yes for some people the grass may not be greener but you'll never know unless you try it! Quoting moving home statistics is like me telling you the divorce rate - you'll still get married!

Dinah93

I'm just saying keep an open mind, as you say you never know what is around the corner, and you were so excited about picking out things for getting a house together a month ago, to now say you'd be depressed to choose wallpaper seems kind of at odds. Waiting to take this big leap isn't making things lesser, its just playing it a bit more cautiously.