Need a shoulder to cry on

mouche

Wow! I never expected this kind of support - thank you all so much, I feel better just knowing I'm not alone. Thanks for all the supportive comments, good wishes and practical advice.

Wine of the World - That's a good point you made regarding coming back on a different visa. I've been researching it and apparently we can, though we will have to do it in my name as my husband's degree is from a university that is not recognised by the British government (it's a French hotel management institute that has branches in 14 countries so not exactly a 2penny backyard college).
The thing is we are 8 months away from being eligible for a settlement visa. Getting settlement will mean we get decent mortgage rates (at the moment banks can't be sure we won't have to leave the country so they offer very few, very high rate mortgages) and it will also mean we can't be asked to leave the country like we are now. So it will give us some security. But if we go back to India, it will be seen as a break in our residence here and the clock will restart. And due to recent changes to immigration rules, that will mean we have to be here for about another 8 years before we can apply for settlement. It's a long time to wait to have security and a home of our own. The only way we can remain eligible for the settlement visa is to get the job done and dusted in 28 days. If worst comes to worst I guess we'll just have to accept that we will not be secure here for a very long time.


Zazen999, I don't know why I read the daily mail online sometimes - I tell myself it's so I can understand how the British really feel about us but the responses to my post have opened my eyes that not everyone is like that! Hubby has gone to meet the manager who hired him - they need more staff so he's taken a colleague who would be a good fit. He will be talking to the manager about this and calling head office once the meeting is over so fingers crossed.


whitewing - oh I hope you're right about the speed of processing!!! I'm not sure my MP will be of much use. I wrote to him once before about an immigration bill, telling him about how it would hurt us and he was quite sniffy in his response. I'll try again if all else fails.


instaunt - your post made me laugh! I don't know if it really works that way so I will bow to your superior knowledge. The trouble is we couldn't do that. I'd rather be insecure about my future than lie and cheat to stay here. It's just...wrong. It really makes me angry that people damage the reputation of honest people like us by behaving like this.

busiscoming2

Mouche you have had some very good advice already on here and I can't really add to it. Would like to wish you well and to echo what has been said about most of us not having a problem with honest, hard working migrants. Its the scumbags that come and beg and are after the state handouts that rile us up, and you too I expect!
If you did have to go back to India (I understand you have made friendships etc) would it really be that bad?

sarymclary

Mouche, I just wanted to add my good wishes to those already expressed here.

I can't see how 2 hardworking people such as your husband, and yourself couldn't be gladly welcomed here. I do think that a little bit more support from the new employer should be encouraged by your husband, and getting in touch with your local MP would be a good contact to have, to help smooth the way forward should you need it in the future.

Good luck, and keep us posted here, or come back for support should you need it. There's always a friendly face here for you!

mouche

Thank you sarymclary...we will try to get the employer moving as fast as possible. They may agree to wait for my husband a little longer if necessary - fingers crossed.

busiscoming2 - yes, it really makes me sad to see people come here and expect to get all the benefits of living here without making any contibution. That's just wrong - they should be grateful for the opportunity to make something of themselves here.

It wouldn't be terrible in a practical sense to go back to India - we have some savings and our families are there so we have something to go back to and a place to live etc. It would be hard for my husband to get a job there because his industry operates quite differently there and also there are not so many positions available. He hasn't worked in India since he was 23, and he's 35 now (he worked in Kuwait and France before the UK), so he's out of touch with the way things work there.

It's mostly for him I feel so terrible. He's worked so hard and put up with so much (I'm not playing the racism card, but he's in an industry where he's had to put up with some nasty things). To go back to India now, without a job and without a job in hand will make him feel like such a failure. And he's not - he's a good, gentle, talented person who already feels so terrible that he hasn't been able to admit to his family yet that he's been made redundant. We're struggling with weekly phone calls home trying to pretend everything is alright.

Sorry, I'm getting emotional now. But thank you all for your kind thoughts and advice - I really appreciate it.

Primrose

mouche - I really feel for you and this may be once of the situations where your Member of Parliament can help you by possibly intervening and contacting the head office of the organisation concerned to get the documentation issued promptly. If you don't know who your MP is try the website WritetoThem.com. If you put in your postcode it will tell you who your MP is and provide a form for you to send him an e-mail. But I suggest once you know who your MP is, ring his constitutency office (you should be able to find this via his website), and see if somebody at his office can make contact with him, providing your phone number to enable you to talk to him Sometimes, just occasionally our elected MP's can prove their worth by using their influence to help their constitutents and I hope this occasion will be one of them. I wish you good luck and hope that something is sorted out quickly for you.

kate1976

sarymclary wrote: »

Mouche, I just wanted to add my good wishes to those already expressed here.

I can't see how 2 hardworking people such as your husband, and yourself couldn't be gladly welcomed here. I do think that a little bit more support from the new employer should be encouraged by your husband, and getting in touch with your local MP would be a good contact to have, to help smooth the way forward should you need it in the future.

Good luck, and keep us posted here, or come back for support should you need it. There's always a friendly face here for you!

Agree with all that sary said! I hope you get everything sorted and wish you all the luck in the world!

realised

Mouche, Like everyone else has said, theres nothing much more I can add

I am a british born Indian and although I personally have never experienced such hardships, it's because my grandparents and parents have worked so hard to give me everything I have today. Reading the likes of the Daily Mail doesn't depict a true picture of what people think at all!

Good luck and i pray everything works out for you *hug*

thorsoak

A friend of mine was in a similar situation in August 2001 - she was the dependent of person with a work-permitted job, earning excellent money and all the perks.

Two weeks later, she had 28 days in which to leave the country, her friends, her household, everything. Her husband worked in the WTC and was one of those killed on 9-11.

Now I worry about my daughter and grandchildren - in the USA in the same situation. Children have never lived in the UK - both born overseas - although they come back every year.

It can be a lovely life - but it can become precarious.

Hoping OP and her husband all the very best in finding a new job.

oystercatcher

Well I am a born and bred, white, british, person and I really hope everything works out for you Mouche. It must be dreadful having to live under that stress.
I must admit I didn't realise how hard it was for those who wanted to stay here and work. I wish the press wasn't so biased.
The NHS would completely collapse if it wasn't for hard working foreign nationals, I'm sure many other areas are the same.

Keep us updated.

Odette

I'm a bit disappointed that our system has done this to you (and others like you and your partner im sure) and caused you so much grief. It seems really unfair that you should be put through this personal turmoil after putting so much into the UK. I really hope you get full citizenship soon, you sound like you both deserve it!

And best wishes for saving for the deposit! :beer: