advice about splitting up please!!!!!

zoesmummy_2006

moneymaker, dont worry, my kids are my priority and they will be kept away from her at all costs until i decide otherwise.

Keeping_Motivated

Be careful how long you are linked to him via the mortgage while he is this reckless with his/your lives as he may blacken your name.

Are you going to take legal advice?

zoesmummy_2006

yeah i'm gonna make an appointment with CAB next week to see what i can do and what my legal responsibilities are etc.

onetomany

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

oh and apparently the date was only to some local fireworks. but it's not the point. my cousin says i should let her see the kids with him and let her see what it involves being with a married man with children and that when they start screaming and crying and tantruming she;ll soon re think things lol!

i wouldnt let her hun , i started to get friendly with my x girlfriend all was well untill he sarted to come home with these clothers dont suit me, she says i dont do enough jobs around the house etc so ended up with x taking me to court and getting less acess than he had and having to pay more csa i would make sure they r serious because everytime my xs girlsfriends split up with him was because i expected our son to come first urmmmmmmmm surely thats what being a parents is about , just becareful hun dont let them meet anyone untill you feel they r ready

chrisbagsy

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

yeah i'm gonna make an appointment with CAB next week to see what i can do and what my legal responsibilities are etc.

please please please make and keep this appointment. when i left X wife thought by paying debts would help me. (WRONG!!) You will still be liable for ALL the debts even if you do pay half. I think repaying half to parents loan is good. they will also appreciate you for it.
Remember you are NOT a doormat you are a good person.
Big Hug if thats ok

zoesmummy_2006

far as i'm concerned my kids are my number 1 priority. my son is teething and has something called mombolian cysts popping up on his right eye, he currently has 4 and the docs have said that it's mega rare in 1 year olds and that it may end up in surgery if they keep appearing like they are. and i'm the one rubbing the cream into his eyes, giving him the medicine to calm his teething pains and temps, the one getting up in the night with him. and the prob i have with this girl is that i suspected something was going on when i was pg with my daughter as they worked together and were always texting etc, and he's run her home before collecting me, his heavily pg wife from work, despite her living just down the rd from my parents. luckily she lives in a different town now, though her parents are still down the rd.

zoesmummy_2006

chrisbagsy, big hugs are always welcome here lol!

onetomany

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

far as i'm concerned my kids are my number 1 priority. my son is teething and has something called mombolian cysts popping up on his right eye, he currently has 4 and the docs have said that it's mega rare in 1 year olds and that it may end up in surgery if they keep appearing like they are. and i'm the one rubbing the cream into his eyes, giving him the medicine to calm his teething pains and temps, the one getting up in the night with him. and the prob i have with this girl is that i suspected something was going on when i was pg with my daughter as they worked together and were always texting etc, and he's run her home before collecting me, his heavily pg wife from work, despite her living just down the rd from my parents. luckily she lives in a different town now, though her parents are still down the rd.

what shall i say? you shock me the more information you give the more you prove what a strong person you are , i dont no about the cysts that your litlle man has but my son has disabilites so i know how stessfull things can get keep up the good work hun sending you a big hug not that you need it xxxxxxxx night x

zoesmummy_2006

well he came to take them for a few hours yesterday. on friday we'd agreed 2pm as me and the kids were going to my friends lil ones birthday party and with buses etc wouldnt be back til 1.45pm so thought 2 would be good as i'd be able to get in and give lil man his bottle/change etc before daddy arrived. well he txt at 1.20pm saying he was running late, he'd already said that he had to go to a friends house to do something first when we arranged sat avo. he still said he'd be with us for 2 or maybe just after-well it was 2.45pm and by that point all the kids wanted to do was sleep as they'd been so busy all morning having fun with their friends. he took them off to his parents for the avo and bought them back at 5.45, my son hadnt eaten as he'd let him sleep from when they got to his parents house, meaning he wouldnt settle for me last night!!! well i rang him and said that i wasnt happy with the situation, ever since leaving he's been late collecting the kids on agreed times, and always by almost an hour. i told him it's not fair on the kids, especially our daughter who's 3.5 and was waiting for her daddy to come. he then accused me of having a go at him, most likely cos the new girl was sat next to him and trying to make me look bad. but i'm not having it anymore, he's got no responsibilities, he wasnt at work that morning and he knew he was having the kids so why the hell shouldnt he be on time??? to make things worse, he had to get his mum to bring up one of their car seats as they lent my sons to a friend and hadnt got it back and when his mum found out he was already late picking the kids up i dont think she was very happy with him, judging by what a friend who lives nr his mates saw of his mum. he's behaving like a teenager with no responsibilities, who just wants to go and have fun and sleep with whomever he likes. bless her, his mum is desperate for me to hang in there, says it wont last with this girl etc and that he'll come to his senses eventually. well i hope so do i before it gets to that!!!! at the minute i have to say i do still love him, 9 years is a long time and this wasnt what i wanted, but after everything he's done and how he's treated me and the kids, the lack of respect and common courtesy he's shown to me, i dont think i could go back. a friend said that if i did i'm basically saying that it's ok for him to do it whenever he wants, and part of me agress with her but part of me thinks everyone deserves a 2nd chance. and he's the father to my babies.
on the plus side my son decided to walk today!!!!!!!!! he's been taing steps for the last few weeks and will maybe do 5/6 steps, but today he was watching his big sis running round with my friends 15 month old and i could just see he was desperate to get down and join in-and he did!!! got down off my knee and off he toddled across the room to my mate and then back to me, like he's been doing it forever!!!! the nieghbours must have thought we were havign a party as we were all cheering him and i was about in tears! he's 14 months and i'm the proudest mummy alive again lol! it's the most magical thing and i wouldnt have missed it for the world, i just wish his daddy had been there to share in it too. i've text him and told him and got a very basic reply. prat!
oh and i think i might have found a house to rent for me and the kids, 3 beds, not too far (but also not too close lol) from my parents, life is looking up! i just need to speak to housing benefit tomorrow and see how much i'm entitled to and then see if i can afford to put the money on top if needed. so fingers crossed for me please!!!!!

rainbow81

Hi there

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation you're in. I would say that if he can afford to go dates then he can afford to pay you some child maintenance. I don't know much about the debt side of things, sorry.

You sound like a great mum. Good luck with the housing benefit thing. All those forms do tend to take your mind off things!

Hugs to you.

R x