advice about splitting up please!!!!!

zoesmummy_2006

i'm toughening up, and if it wasnt that it was money for the kids i'd tell him to go screw himself. but i dont want to upset the kids so i'm trying to be civil and dignified about it-i am better than him and i deserve better than him, and when it all goes pear shaped and this girl does to him what she's done to all her blokes i'll stand there with my 2 beautiful children by my side and say you threw everything away and what have you got now-then shut the door in his face!!!! thats what i now see as hilarious, the fact that he's said to everyone from the start of all this that in a few years time he'd like to maybe give things another go with me!!! yeah i'll bet he would, is it ever gonna happen-NO!!!!

zoesmummy_2006

i know it's all his guilt, he's admitted that much to me, said that every nasty thing he's said to me was cos he was feeling guilty about what he's done, though this was before today and the new girl etc x
got my filofax upstairs, will just have to start making a note like you say of what i've given him and when, and maybe get him to sign reciepts too as proof that he has it, or just set it up as transfer via banks so i have a paper trail!

onetomany

ring the csa and tell them hes not paying , dont give him anymore money hun he should be paying u , he carnt be that bloke if hes out on dates , and yes you are the winner you have the kids xxxxxxxxxxxx (thats what i tell myself when x !!!!sssssssss me of , ) keep a note of all thease conversations , maybe you telling him your getting legal advice might make him relise your not gonna let him walk all over you? sending a big hug x

Money_maker

Sorry but you are not living in your house. You have the children to care for. Why on earth would you be paying him anything? I would recommend an appointment with a solicitor to disassociate yourself with him financially or you could be paying for his nights out with his tart.

Hope the little ones are okay.

zoesmummy_2006

the kids are ok, my daughter is always saying she misses her daddy and was sobbing down the phone to him the other day. my son is 14 months and very much a mummy's boy which i think he's always resented. he wouldnt go to daddy or take his botte from him the other night, whcih is hardly suprising as i've done everything for him since he was born

zoesmummy_2006

oh and apparently the date was only to some local fireworks. but it's not the point. my cousin says i should let her see the kids with him and let her see what it involves being with a married man with children and that when they start screaming and crying and tantruming she;ll soon re think things lol!

neneromanova

Is the loan from the parents in either of your names? My leant me and my ex about £24k to pay off loans and for a deposit (ah the times of £6k deposits). ANyway, It came to splitting up and he turned round (mainly to hurt me as I was the dumper) that he wasn't paying the loan back, even though he had signed something to say he would. My parents took it to a solicitors and the solicitor said yeah they have no leg to stand on. Luckily he was a good guy and paid it back......But do you really have to? He left you, so he can deal with the out come.

I would get estate agents round the house aswell. If he stops paying for the mortgage then he could screw you both up. It's probably best for him to either sell or buy you out. that way you're free from him. But I would definately go see a solicitor.

Good Luck.

Money_maker

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

oh and apparently the date was only to some local fireworks. but it's not the point. my cousin says i should let her see the kids with him and let her see what it involves being with a married man with children and that when they start screaming and crying and tantruming she;ll soon re think things lol!

No, don't do it. Protect the little ones from all this upheaval. Chances are it will be a different woman next month so they wont need to meet this one unless it gets serious.

LoLo

Hi
sorry you are in this situation. Just wanted to say that you will be able to apply for a community care grant to help with the cost of furnishing a house when you get one.

zoesmummy_2006

the loan to his parents is actually in their name, we just pay it, they did it to consolidate some of our debt when we bought the house. and i dont mind paying them my half as i dont want to see them struggle cos of what their son has done. he's on a payment break with the mortgage at the min as he was looking to sell, so saving for some rent for elsewhere, then it was he's gonna get a lodger into the kids room, and now who knows! have told him he needs to look at buying me out, but he says that will leave me having to pay him still for the secured loan, which i'm prepared to do. or he looks at selling and whats left from the sec loan we have to pay half each etc.