Is it worth trying to get child support from this man?

Dancing_Shoes

Aphroditesgirdle wrote: »

Is that a rhetorical question?

Yes it was:D

I don't think men are blameless at all, I am however completely torn as to how I "feel" about this subject when one party does not want a child which is different to the situation I highlighted earlier on in the thread.
I can see how for some people abortion is a very difficult choice but it IS always an option (not to be used in place of contraception though).
In your particular case op then if youfeel that he should be paying child support then that is all that matters, it is yourlife and yourchild and this site is just for advice doesn't mean we all agree or that you should follow any of it.

RedSky

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

No , men would like us to think that they are blase when it comes down to contraception but I'm sorry at the end of the day, most of them don't give a toss as they know they can walk away if they want.

As I said to my ex - when I got the 'it's your fault as your Pill failed', nothing stopping you whacking a condom on your knob was there? Not my fault sweetie...I done what I could and it failed so we BOTH deal with the consequences.

I fail to understand your need to blame someone. You (as a couple) used contraception, regardless of what method. Neither of you are at fault.

Loopy_Girl

I didn't blame anyone. He did. I just got on with it and dealt with the situation.

RedSky

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I didn't blame anyone. He did. I just got on with it and dealt with the situation.

Then that is commendable that you ignored his childish comment and didn't turn it into a petty squabble of who is blame and who is not.

chriszzz

Yes a guy can walk away and never set eyes on you again. So I think the woman should make it her priority to make sure she is using contraception, and we know thats not 100% safe, so the guy should use a condom, NO condom, NO sex.

Both men and women have one night stands, its up to the woman to say yes and she knows if she is taking contraception and if she and he doesn't want a baby they should make sure they use a condom for double protection. Not all want to have sex and have a child, they just want the sex.

Id rather have a good book and a piece of milk chocolate!! lol

Aphroditesgirdle

I do agree that doubling up is a good idea and in the future I will be doing so! I thought I would be fine with the coil. Once bitten and all that.....

Would just like to make clear this baby's father was not a one night stand, though - far from it...

Loopy_Girl

Aphroditesgirdle wrote: »

I do agree that doubling up is a good idea and in the future I will be doing so! I thought I would be fine with the coil. Once bitten and all that.....

Would just like to make clear this baby's father was not a one night stand, though - far from it...

That's no one's business but yours and you certaintly don't have to explain yourself. She's here and that's the main thing. Whether you were in a stable relationship or banged the entire Army (or is that just my fantasy;)) is irrelevant. What is relevant is you being the sole carer by all accounts but being entitled to financial support. Failed coil or not, it's the law.

Please don't think anyone thinks anything negative about you....my situation is exactly as yours (except mine was English...still a foreigner mind;)). !!!!!! happens as they say and life goes on....there's worse things in life than women having babies by accident/unplanned/unexpected whatever...I went through pregnancy on my own, gave birth on my own and have brought her up solely alone for 8 years...and I am still living!! (although consuming rose wine....but only on Family Allowance day;):D)

Loopy_Girl

chriszzz wrote: »

Id rather have a good book and a piece of milk chocolate!! lol

My Mum used to say she'd rather have a fish supper and a bottle of Vimto!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Prob one of the reasons they divorced years ago I suspect!!!!!:D:D

chriszzz

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

My Mum used to say she'd rather have a fish supper and a bottle of Vimto!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Prob one of the reasons they divorced years ago I suspect!!!!!:D:D

Point I was making was, I have a choice, I can have sex and risk getting pregnant or be safe and read a book and indulge in a little tasty pleasure??? :drool:

chriszzz

Aphroditesgirdle wrote: »

I do agree that doubling up is a good idea and in the future I will be doing so! I thought I would be fine with the coil. Once bitten and all that.....

Would just like to make clear this baby's father was not a one night stand, though - far from it...

Aphroditesgirdle,

I was not assuming that yours was a one night stand, what i was clearly stating was we as women, also know the implications of having sex, could mean we may get pregnant if not protected, so ME would make sure that I was taking contraception and HE would be using a condom, unless we both agreed that we wanted to have a baby and that would only happen because we both were in a strong relationship with a view to having children together.

Unfortunately lots of people male/female have a communication breakdown and basically don't consider what the other half wants!