child protection arrived at our house, angry with nursery for reporting us.

MrsTinks

Playing devils advocate - could they have asked for the medical records but say by letter which right now let's face it... more than likely have gone walkabout thanks to the strikes? Or could a letter they put in your DDs pidgeonhole (assuming this is how they send letters to parents I know a few round here do it that way) have gone walkabout and they have "assumed" you've ignored their request? I'm not saying they're not lying btw - it could even be that someone has asked an assitant to request them from your wife they that one person had forgotten and to cover themselves made up a story? It could be one person making more of something to cover their own mistake... in which case the nursery definitely did the right thing - they have to assume that concerns raised are genuine and it's not up to them to decide otherwise that's why they refer it to SS...

See it for what it is - a good oppertunerty to get more help to deal with the situation for the whole family Getting a blue badge may be being clamped down on - but why shouldn't you apply??? As your daughters condition progresses then there is every chance she'll benefit greatly from the closer parking etc - I often see people with blue badges who I don't think need them - they certainly seem able bodied to me. But I don't know their medical records so I trust that the people who decide know better than me if the people they have issued them to need them If you don't ask...

And there may be, as others have said, grants and other help you as a family can get - breaks away, even ones with special events for the other children who it is felt often get sidelined - turning down such help is just silly if it's there You're not alone as a family in this - use it as a vehicle to help all of you - including maybe a support group for your wife? She sounds from what you say to be not only sensitive but also like she's isolating herself from others as a defence mechanism... The SS will know if there are any support groups she might make some new friends at - other parents who know what you're going through.

galvanizersbaby

MrsTine wrote: »

Playing devils advocate - could they have asked for the medical records but say by letter which right now let's face it... more than likely have gone walkabout thanks to the strikes? Or could a letter they put in your DDs pidgeonhole (assuming this is how they send letters to parents I know a few round here do it that way) have gone walkabout and they have "assumed" you've ignored their request? I'm not saying they're not lying btw - it could even be that someone has asked an assitant to request them from your wife they that one person had forgotten and to cover themselves made up a story? It could be one person making more of something to cover their own mistake... in which case the nursery definitely did the right thing - they have to assume that concerns raised are genuine and it's not up to them to decide otherwise that's why they refer it to SS...

See it for what it is - a good oppertunerty to get more help to deal with the situation for the whole family Getting a blue badge may be being clamped down on - but why shouldn't you apply??? As your daughters condition progresses then there is every chance she'll benefit greatly from the closer parking etc - I often see people with blue badges who I don't think need them - they certainly seem able bodied to me. But I don't know their medical records so I trust that the people who decide know better than me if the people they have issued them to need them If you don't ask...

And there may be, as others have said, grants and other help you as a family can get - breaks away, even ones with special events for the other children who it is felt often get sidelined - turning down such help is just silly if it's there You're not alone as a family in this - use it as a vehicle to help all of you - including maybe a support group for your wife? She sounds from what you say to be not only sensitive but also like she's isolating herself from others as a defence mechanism... The SS will know if there are any support groups she might make some new friends at - other parents who know what you're going through.

I didn't think that the nursery have a right to see medical records
I'm confused about this particular nursery's processes and procedures

BitterAndTwisted

It might be possible that the nursery are asking for the medical records because they feel that the child needs additional resources while there and are trying to get access to that additional resource.

In any case, as previously suggested, I'd try and see the situation as an opportunity to get more help rather than just seeing it as a threat or criticism of your wonderful parenting.

galvanizersbaby

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It might be possible that the nursery are asking for the medical records because they feel that the child needs additional resources while there and are trying to get access to that additional resource.

In any case, as previously suggested, I'd try and see the situation as an opportunity to get more help rather than just seeing it as a threat or criticism of your wonderful parenting.

I think you are right (can't think of any other reason they would have asked for them) but wondered who they had actually asked for the medical records (since OP hasn't had a request) and whether they actually had a right to access them

Just seems very odd and unfortunate to me that they didn't call a meeting beforehand with OP and his wife.

I agree that it may be an opportunity to get more help but if I were OP I would be rather reluctant to send my child back to this particular nursery.

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

OK sorry for butting in but thought it very important to make note of something before i forget.

There is also medical reasoning for a child, or anyone in fact not being put in a wheelchair due to arthritis, and that is because if you bring a wheelchair into the equation it can lessen the amount of time she is actually moving her joints - thus can result in quicker deterioration and worsening of the condition. A whellchair is not reccommended unless absolutely neccessary. I am surprised the nursery were not aware of this. Honestly if they cannot cope i think they should say so rather than hinting at a wheelchair which to me seems a bit of a cop out!

I will now go back to reading through so pardon me for butting in there.

ailuro2

to be honest, I think you're wrong to give out your daughters' names and medical conditions on a public forum, using what is presumably their picture as your avatar.

By all means share your worries, but don't give away your children's personal info on a forum as big as this.

If the nursery is being a bit overzealous then it's likely the recent cases in the newspapers that have made them that way. No nursery can afford to let the slightest worry go unchecked.

In your case it does sound over the top, but if it helps you get more help to make your daughter more comfortable, then maybe there will be a silver lining to this temporary cloud.

Best Wishes.

Wicked_witch

I agree with you ellie :-) I can understand them being worried about H&S issues if they are having to carry her a lot, as this could cause injury to staff's backs etc and to her if the person carrying her was to drop her or fall themselves. But then it would be appropriate to get together with the parents to discuss all the options and explain why they believe carrying her may not be the best long term solution for everyone. So, still badly handled.

puddy

the nursery didnt 'report' you, they made a referral to SSD on the basis that they seem to be concerned about how the family were coping (you said yourself this is a stressful and difficult time and mum is very worried), concerned about whether your daughter needs more aids than the family have agreed to and maybe felt that she might have been at risk from this.

however, as she is (i would consider) not at risk from immediate danger, they also have a duty to discuss the referral with you first to let you know why they are concerned and what they are going to do about it.

with regard to the SW seeing the children's bedrooms and asking you lots of questions, they wil have done this AS WELL as talk to the nursery about the children's presentation there, and as to how the family present as a whole. It is the SW job to check out the house, i have looked in the cupboards and fridge on my visits, its how we assess the entire situation. the SW also should have spent time with the children alone without you as parents present if the children did not object to that and if you gave your permission.

the upshot here is that you are a family in need, you have a child with medical needs and whilst you are obviously receiving good medical advice and treatment, you may also need support for the emotional side of this and the future. you said yourself that you do not have family near, all the more important to get the right support.
i would advise that you use this assessment period (is the SW doing a 'core assessment' or just an 'initial assessment??) to get support and services for your daughter, ask to have her referred to the children with disabilities team. in future years, she may be less mobile and able and you will need to ensure that you have a good team around her and your family. us the SW and the department for this purpose, it is what they are there for.

good luck

nottslass_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It might be possible that the nursery are asking for the medical records because they feel that the child needs additional resources while there and are trying to get access to that additional resource.

In any case, as previously suggested, I'd try and see the situation as an opportunity to get more help rather than just seeing it as a threat or criticism of your wonderful parenting.

Getting hold of medical records (Your own) Isn't simply a question of "just getting a copy" They need to be formally requested and you usually have to pay !!!

Also unless the nursery has medically trained staff IE a Doctor, the medical records are unlikely to be understood by the "lay person" - I cannot understand what right (or reason) the nursery thinks that it has to access this Private & Confidential Information. In this instance I would be reporting my concerns to ofstead.

Of Course Nursery's need to Inform Social Services when they have concerns about a Child's welfare - But medical Records ? No way !!!!!!!

emlou2009

its all very well trying to think of reasons that the nursery may have reported the family, but surely the main point here is that they should have spoken to the mother of the child?

i am in the process of settling my son in with a childminder for when i go back to work in two weeks, and quite clearly all over her paperwork it says she will raise any issues with me (should there be any) without delay, and vice versa. she works on her own. surely the nursery could have found time to make the effort to do the same, seeing as they will have more than one member of staff?

i hope CP realise they are not needed in your household OP. i wonder if someone from surestart could arrange someone to give your wife a break for a few hours a week? if they could take her while the others are at nursery (i sincerely hope you have pulled them out of this one and put them in one where they are competant enough to communicate with parents) then it would free your wife to do something for her, even if it was just to take a nap