child protection arrived at our house, angry with nursery for reporting us.

Morglin

The nursery were obviously concerned about your little girl and the strain your wife is (understandably) under, so did the right thing in referring her to Social Services, and they did right to check up on her.

(It would have been better if the nursery had discussed their concerns with you first, though)

You know, SSD aren't the enemy - they can help you with things to make life easier - if you're not already getting it perhaps DLA (mobility) and/or a blue badge for your little girl to help with her getting around. If the family need a holiday, they can also resource and refer you to charities that can help with the cost of holidays/equipment etc.,

There are also OT's who can help with things around the house.

Use SSD, as a support service, if you need some practical help or advice.

A wheelchair doesn't have to be a 24/7 thing, and some days your little lass might find it helpful for her - I use mine when I need it, and it does make life more painfree on those days. Amongst other things, I have a form of arthiritis and it's painful if anyone even touches me when it flares up, let alone anything else like trying to carry me.

I hope GOSH soon help with meds to make your little's girls life as painless as possible. This is a miserable disease, especially for a child. And, of course, it's a strain on the family.

Good luck to you all - and get what support you need!

Lin

aliasojo

shellsuit wrote: »

I wonder why it took them until Keira stopped going, to make a report?!

Once you feel you can, I would go in and ask why they have lied about medical records as that is not on.

I don't think there's anything strange about the timing tbh. It could be down to two reasons......the nursery had concerns and when they stopped seeing the child, obviously they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on the little girl so they contacted someone who could. People outside the situation looking in usually only see snippets, they can't see the whole picture. Alternatively contact with SS was made earlier and the SS were a bit slow at following it up.

For whatever reason, what's done is done. I can imagine how the OP and his wife feel, it's horrible to think that someone else is questioning your parenting especially when you're doing all you can.

You might find you end up benefiting from this situation in the long run. SS can help make life easier (funding permitting! :rolleyes:) and it can be useful being involved with them.

Try not to fret over this too much, it'll pass and a clearer picture will emerge for all concerned.

stolt

thanks for the two replies overnight, I dont see the hild support as a enemy, just a really big shock when someone urns up at your door,measuring your childrens height, asking if they eat fruti and vegtables etc. Mentioning that my middle daughter was thin and the medical records really wasnt needed or not true. When thing slike that are mentioned it makes it even more frustrating, really they should have just kept the complaint to Keira and perhaps my wife is they thought wasnt coping. Ive mentioned the blue badge as i thouhg tit will be helpful when shes taking the other children to school and also when were out and about. I breifly looked into it and i read that they were cracking down on those who they give it to.

DVardysShadow

stolt wrote: »

My main concern is its a blot on our records and I want my wife to be vindicated.

thanks for taking the time to read the very long post.. sorry

I think the others have said anything I wanted to say. Except this.

It is plain to me that you and your wife care. Nowadays, on the one side stand the state and interfering idiots. On the other side stand decent people. You are vindicated with me.

squirrelchops

Hi there,

I just wanted to agree with the posters who have said that SS intervention may help you to access some support services.

If your daughter is assessed as a child in need, which, given the limitations she is having on a day to day basis, she appears to be, then they have a duty to aid you in accessing services.

So those who call SS 'inferferring idiots' should actually look at the wider picture. Surely any help and support that gives your daughter, and your family unit is going to help.

DVardysShadow

squirrelchops wrote: »

So those who call SS 'inferferring idiots' should actually look at the wider picture. Surely any help and support that gives your daughter, and your family unit is going to help.

I was actually referring to the nursery, who ought to be more knowledgeable. The SS is part of the state. It may be fair enough for SS to investigate, but I think they should start off from the acknowledged difficulties of the child and offer help, rather than dive in. It is plain that child protection appears busy around parents who are doing their job, but is absent around the difficult cases like Baby Peter.

galvanizersbaby

DVardysShadow wrote: »

I was actually referring to the nursery, who ought to be more knowledgeable. The SS is part of the state. It may be fair enough for SS to investigate, but I think they should start off from the acknowledged difficulties of the child and offer help, rather than dive in. It is plain that child protection appears busy around parents who are doing their job, but is absent around the difficult cases like Baby Peter.

OP - I can't imagine what it must be like to have SS turn up at your door - I can totally understand how you and your wife must be feeling right now and can't quite understand why the nursery didn't discuss with you first

I think as other posters are saying try to view as a positive thing - as you say you have nothing to hide

Wicked_witch

I am sorry to read this, what a horrible shock for you, especially when you are putting so much effort into making your daughter's life as comfortable and normal as possible. It must have felt like a real slap in the face!

I worked in pre-school nurseries for several years, including a management role and can't imagine how this could be considered an appropriate response on their part, especially if they didn't take time to address the concerns with you fae to face initially. It is possible that they have not had the levels of training in child protection that would make them confident of the correct way to deal with some of the concerns (such as your daughter mentioning you had hurt her fingers) and preferred to go to SS rather than potentially make a mistake that could harm the setting's reputation- however, they clearly made the wrong choice, which highlights the importance of this training. If you decide to make a formal complaint to Ofsted or similar body, this is something to mention imo.

I am confused about them claiming to have asked for medical records- not only because it is untrue (another red flag about their understanding of child protection issues) but because I don't see why they would think they should be allowed to see such confidential documents. It is 4 years since I left nursery so maybe regs have changed, but I have never considered asking to see a child's medical records, even though I have been involved in a case of suspected physical abuse and I am not aware of any colleagues having done so. I would certainly never have provided my son's records to a nursery or school and like you I have nothing to hide!

Morglin

stolt wrote: »

thanks for the two replies overnight, I dont see the hild support as a enemy, just a really big shock when someone urns up at your door,measuring your childrens height, asking if they eat fruti and vegtables etc. Mentioning that my middle daughter was thin and the medical records really wasnt needed or not true. When thing slike that are mentioned it makes it even more frustrating, really they should have just kept the complaint to Keira and perhaps my wife is they thought wasnt coping. Ive mentioned the blue badge as i thouhg tit will be helpful when shes taking the other children to school and also when were out and about. I breifly looked into it and i read that they were cracking down on those who they give it to.

If you claim and are awarded DLA High Rate (mobility) for your daughter, a Blue Badge is an automatic entitlement. DLA (mobility) can be paid for over 3's who have arthiritis, dependant on need. It will mean extra money to help out, (and she may also be entitled to the care component).

Other than that, it has to go through your GP.

Have a look at these sites:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeone/CaringForADisabledChild/index.htm

http://www.benefitsnow.co.uk/special/children.asp

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/MotoringAndTransport/Bluebadgescheme/DG_181208

This site, for parents/carers of children with arthiritis, also has some useful info:

http://www.ccaa.org.uk/

Lin

bestpud

Gosh, I think that is something most parents would find horrifying - child protection knocking on the door that is!

You've been given terrific advice though and I hope you feel calmer now.

I just want to urge you not to go to the nursery and stand outside talking to parents! I can understand how you'd want to, and I can understand you want answers, but please be careful how you go about it.

If you go in like a bull at a gate you may end up unintentionally confirming their reasons for reporting you!

Let the dust settle and think carefully about what you want to say and what response you would like.

Good luck with it and I agree you should see it as an ideal opportunity to see what ss can do to help.