Trying For a Baby part 4

Metranil_Vavin

Missy - you have to just pick yourself up and try again next month I'm afraid.

It is hideously disappointing, but I think that the first couple of BFN's are the worst.

becs

Thanks Sleepytiger.
Missy my coping method is to think about the next cycle, think when you will be ov'ing and think about when you would be able to tell people etc if it works out. I guess it just helps keep me focussed on the future rather than dwelling on the past. For instance I'm thinking af will show any day which will mean ov'ing over the holiday period which will be great for more bd'ing Than normal. And if that cycle doesn't work out I can get reflexologist back to try another session with me but also try dh this time too!

Lauralou

missy since i've come off the pill in feb and(between mc's) my cycles have been all different and later than i expect and have done tests but got a bfn. You just got to keep going. Like becs said think about your next cycle planned when you might OV. If you hadnt have af then maybe test again. i Just think after af that its gives us more time to put money into saving for baby things!!

missymoo81

Thanks Becs that helps a lot, I've got a few weeks off for christmas I should Ov at some point over the christmas holidays, How do you guys work your OV days out, I've heard counting back counting forwards, it's all very confusing, I was just going to jump on OH every morning and night and see how we went!!!!! Think that might be a little tiring though!!

x

Metranil_Vavin

Good advice Becs...best to try to forget BFN's, and start planning for your (hopefully) BFP the next month!

becs

Missy, your cycles can take up to a year to really regulate after coming off the pill. Also by charting you will see that it is usually ov that varies each month but your luteal phase (the bit after ov until af arrives) usually stays the same within 1-2 days. Ov can be delayed if you are ill or as Bitzer will tell you if you take ibuprofen or some other medicines just before ov. Obviously if you ov later than normal then your cycle will be longer.
To give you an idea over my last 12 cycles my ov has varied from cd13 to cd19, my lp is usually 10-12 days with the exception of 1 cycle where it was 9 days, so my cycle has been anything from 23 days to 31 days. Hope this helps.
Edit to say I started charting ov by temping but now use a clear blue fertility monitor.

missymoo81

ok so charting sounds like a good idea, how do you know if you're ov, I can never tell, as I said before I have tried the sticks but they dont seem to work.

Am going to throw myself into baby making with avengence asap, and organising myself to do so will help take my mind of things.

Thank you all for being so wonderful, I do appreciate it.

becs

temping will show you a pattern as to when you ov but you won't know until after you have ov'd. It also requires committment as you need to take your temp everyday at the same time before you get out of bed. I would recommend fertility friend website as it's quite user friendly and it works out everything for you. I never got a positive with ov sticks either but I subsequently found out that was probably because I was using them in the morning and not the afternoon!
Just one thing if you do temp you will need a BBT thermometer which is specifically for fertility as it's a lot more sensitive.
Edit to say I think confuzzled is the expert on cervical mucus and feeling the cervix which will also give you an idea but I'm no good on those I'm afraid as don't get much cm.

Metranil_Vavin

hey we're all in the same boat hon

It's certainly helps to be able to come on here and share experiences

missymoo81

I have one of those I bought one when I bought the sticks, but was just taking temps and random times, So I should take it at the same time every day and when my temp rises I'm ov'ing or likely to in the next so many hours, sorry for all the questions just trying to look forward, keep bursting into tears, and I know that if I speak to the doctor I'll just burst into tears again, really should pull myself together.... right fertility friend website.

Thanks again you lovely lot, you're just what i need right now.

x