MSE Parents Club Part 8

Sami_Bee

Mel - it's not your fault that in trying to do the best for your Children the stupid SFE haven't been able to do their job and get your loan to you. You are understandably stressed by this, it could happen to anyone xxx

csh_2

redmel1621 wrote: »

I don't want to talk to a gp though.

I know I haven't said a lot about exactly what has been going on and the mess I have made of everything, I am not very good at expressing emotions or opening up. BUT it is all my fault that we are in such a mess...I have caused us to have no money, I have brought dh's anxiety attacks on and the poor kids are suffering because of it all. I am really short tempered with them all the time, ds1 even asked me last night why I am shouting at them all the time when they are not even being naughty.....I went and cried after he said this, and just thinking of it is setting me off agin. We haven't got any of them a single xmas present and at this rate we wont be able to..I am such a useless parent, and uselss person.

Mel x

No one person can be the cause of every problem in a relationship. If your DH is leading you to believe that the mess is yours alone then he is wrong.
Problems need to be faced and dealt with together. Please do not make yourself ill taking all the worry and responsibility.

You are not useless, but you need to ask for help and stop taking everything on yourself x

searching_me

money_maker wrote: »

thats very good SM, we normally spend about £70 in Asda for the month and about £10 - £20 a week in Lidl top ups of fruit veg and bread things !!

wish i lived near asda ..... im wondering to do it weekly or 3 weeks as philip and zoe can eat through everything pretty quickly x

r.mac_2

mel - firstly marriage/partnership is a team effort, so it's not ALL your fault whatever has happened. Secondly, you don't have to talk to your GP if that makes you uncomfortable. Have you considred a HV or a phone number such as the samaritans etc.

I find things tough being a mum - and you must find it much tougher having more than I do. That doesn't make you a bad person sweetie. we find things tough because we try hard and divide our time amongst others and son't give ourselves enough me time and credit.

And there is always us here on the forum. hugs x

tiamai_d

Firstly, stop blaming yourself, even if it really was your fault (which I doubt). get that OH told that blaming you doesn't help, you need to pull together to get through it if not he can sod off. Your trying to fix things, so things will be fixed, right now just try to relax and make the most of what you do have. Easier said than done, but positive thinking does help.

Sami_Bee

tiamai_d wrote: »

Christopher is really excited that Mummies friends little boy who is also called Christopher has the same moonman bike as him. He says it's a really really good bike

:jyey! He's getting the matching helmet of his Aunty too I can't wait!!

redmel1621

Thank you all

I can't accept that it is not my fault and I don't want to talk irl to anyone, so I don't really know what to do.

I mange and will just get on with things as I always do, i'm sorry for moaning I don't want to put anyone on a downer with my misery!

Mel x

searching_me

sorry mel just saw your post wasnt ignoring just been in and out ((hugs)) sweetheart well all feel like that one year i didnt even get a single thing for zoe til xmas eve when a crisis loan went through .. hope things sort out your not a useless mum you're just under alot of stress ive snapped at zoe ... what parent hasnt ... you sound like you just need a big hug, a cuppa and some stress free time even if its just 20mins x

tiamai_d

I need to go tidy up because I am cold.

searching_me

you're not putting a downer on things thats what we're here for x