MSE Parents Club Part 8

Becles

Morning all

It's the 16th, so I'm putting my Christmas trees up :j

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Beccles - I don't really think about the money I spend on Christmas gifts and would never think to compare what I bought to what someone bought for me IYSWIM.

I don't usually compare, but my brother is always going on about how much better off they are and I'm just crap at everything and they will compare. They ask advice on parenting and then tells me how crap I and they'd never do anything like that with their daughter which gets really on my wick, so I've stopped helping them. The stupid thing is, they slag me off yet I'm the one who had three children sleeping through the night from a few weeks old, yet they have a two year old who has rarely slept through the night since she was born. Mine eat pretty much everthing, theirs picks around with food and she barely eats. So I can't be that crap! He asked about how I'm doing at uni, and I said pretty well and could get a 2.1, and he said "you do know any degree from the Open Uni is pretty worthless so it's all been a waste of time really." I was so mad, I couldn't say anything, especially when he went to Uni full time, p*ssed around for 4 years and limped out with a 3rd. But it's from York, so apparantly that makes it superior to degrees from anywhere else :rolleyes:

Sorry for ranting but I really don't like him

SugarSpun

Becles wrote: »

Sorry for ranting but I really don't like him

I know the feeling

[STRIKE]If[/STRIKE] When he compares, just stare blankly and ask, But we arranged a £5 limit? He'll look stupid, not you. My brother is very similar, but he doesn't have the degree to back up his carping. He told my husband at my postgrad graduation that Brother was going to get his *own* PhD - after all, I've got one so it can't be that hard.

Rise above it and rant in private where necessary. I'm planning to research hotels in the area today just in case Christmas is as horrible as I fear.

weezl74

ManOnTheMoon wrote: »

B I understand a couple of people have left recently, which is sad, as i'd like to thing everyone is welcome, even old me with little in common with anyone

My life is quite different to yours MOTM, but I feel I have much in common with your values, carefulness and sensitivity.

BeenieCat wrote: »

Oh a quick question btw, probably a good one for Skinty if she still visits, or weezl?

Induction - i know they say the placenta deteriorates after 10-14 days (my PCT induce at 14) but i wondered if there's a website with some unbiased info on 'for and against' type facts for refusing induction :eek:

Thanks in advance

Hi beenie

pretty much what sami said really.... I think the deteriorating placenta argument is overused and ill-thought through. It's a bit like those people who say that after 60 000 miles your car parts start giving up, without really taking into consideration the difference between a mercedes and a skoda!

My silly analogy is meant to illustrate that the health of the placenta is different from mother to mother due to her nutrition, diet, body weight & condition of her uterus prior to conception, ie scarred or non scarred.

Also the use of the placental goodness variers from baby to baby according to their gender, size and needs. (send 2 children on the same school trip with identical packed lunches and one will have snaffled the lot by 11 am and the other will bring half of it home or swap it for football stickers).

The third area is the issue of time. Because edd is calculated from LMP not conception, a woman with a longer cycle, or who concieved late in a normal cycle, will be 1-2 weeks younger than the edd would suggest anyway.

All of these things (and the evidence sami reported) makes me think we should look for more concrete markers of problems before intervening. (meconium in liquor, fetal distress, bleeding, pain, maternal want for an induction). HTH x

And now onto an utterly different topic.

Both of DHs grandparents are very unwell. They each have cancer amongst other things. They have met Fergie once. DHs nan was transfixed by his eyes in particular. They have everything they need. So for a christmas gift I thought of a recent pic of him in a lovely frame. I wondered which of these 3 images seems most appropriate to you guys given all I've said...











Oh and ps before I forget, Tara yesterday you'd asked how I was just after I logged off to watch Jamie(oliver, not SB's little man!)! So sorry if I contributed to your invisible feeling. I'm very glad you said rather than let it fester. I think it's good we say these things and no one needs then to break contact with us all.:)

Will carry on with my catch up now only 8 pages to go!:eek:

xxx

SugarSpun

I like the first one, Weezlie - he's looking right at the camera and smiling

weezl74

SugarSpun wrote: »

I like the first one, Weezlie - he's looking right at the camera and smiling

thanks

Do you think I should clean the bib up a bit, not sure if an 83 yr old would want a piccie of great-grandson with weetabix adornments?

Sorry brother is so horrid and is ruining your christmas excitement

SugarSpun

Oh balls to this. They've left in a huff and aren't coming back for the bag I asked them to carry back with them (and paid for... )

Mum tells me that if we don't want to be there for Christmas that's fine with her. F didn't say a word to me but ensured I wasn't alone with Mum at any stage so nothing conciliatory could be said.

At the moment I'm considering the following options:

1: not going at all
2: going by myself, packing up all our stuff and leaving again
3: going, staying elsewhere, and visiting them on occasion
4: going and pretending it didn't happen, until the dog barks or jumps on Molly and then leaving for a hotel

weezl74

SugarSpun wrote: »

Oh balls to this. They've left in a huff and aren't coming back for the bag I asked them to carry back with them (and paid for... )

Mum tells me that if we don't want to be there for Christmas that's fine with her. F didn't say a word to me but ensured I wasn't alone with Mum at any stage so nothing conciliatory could be said.

At the moment I'm considering the following options:

1: not going at all
2: going by myself, packing up all our stuff and leaving again
3: going, staying elsewhere, and visiting them on occasion
4: going and pretending it didn't happen, until the dog barks or jumps on Molly and then leaving for a hotel

tell us the downsides of each option

csh_2

Morning SS- I vote for option 4.

It gives everyone a chance to calm down and also leaves you looking like the adult in the situation. If you go for option 1 or 2, you can bet your bottom dollar than the whole situation will be viewed as your fault and that you have overreacted.
The problem with option 3 is that they are not acknowleging a dog problem so nothing has been resolved for future visits.

Go with option 4- If there are problems with the dog and you need to leave this then sets a precedent for any future visits and takes the whole 'what if' out of the equation.
You can then say 'remember what happened last time can you please put the dog in the kennels while we visit', without them (your brother) being able to look for a fight.

money_maker_3

Morning everyone

sorry you had a bad nights sleep again dora, hope you get a nice long lie in today

SS, I really dont know what to say about your brother, I would probably throw a major tantrum and walk off !! So other people should give you advise on this and ignore me !!

Hi Weezl, I like the 2nd one best, but the 1st one is also incredibly cute

Morning csh

I have hospital appt at 11, but other than that a day of doing nothing !!

csh_2

Morning MM

Weezl photo 1 for me too