Separated - how should things for the kids be split?

Knelley

Zoe, what you need to do huns is start as you mean to go on YOU are the boss now in your own home. Remember, he has the rights that you give him. You don't answer to him anymore. There are going to be times where he will drive you crazy, my ex still does! Remember you can't change how others will be, the only thing you can change is how you react to them

x

bestpud

Knelley wrote: »

Wow, wow , wow!! Where did I have ANY issue with the poster? I don't have an issue with her in any way Actually I think she is doing the best thing by trying to communicate with her ex and I was taking my hat off to her in trying to do this! I was refering to others who think it is there god given right to take the ex to the cleaners. When I read posts in reference to THAT, it makes me ashamed to be a woman with kids. The amount of scorned woman who cannot put aside how badly their ex treated them for the sake of the children makes me cringe. I read on here daily posts from women, yes, WOMEN, the exact same as myself who have been promised the world from their exes only for it to all turn sour. They then go on to think it is their god given right to make their exes lives hell due to this. And yes, they use their children and the CSA to do this. I have nothing for respect and praise for the poster as she has chosen NOT to do this but try and work towards an amicable agreement between her and her ex for the sake of her children. I have been where she is. It is very difficult trying to figure out what is best for you and what is best for the children but you will and you will be the stronger one

x

In that case, I wholeheartedly agree with you.

I am where the OP is so I know how difficult it is too.

The financial side is one thing but it is very hard having an ex who isn't as interested in his children as he should be, because we obviously can't tell the children that, and it can feel like you are constantly playing piggy in the middle - keeping him happy so he's ok with the children, and them happy by not telling them how it really is.

There is no justification for using the children, or taking them for any more money than they can afford, but hell, it's easy to feel bitter about it! We are human after all and want the best for our children.