Keeping away from the Jones and leading my frugal life diary 28 October 2009 at 2:00PM in Debt Free Diaries 199 replies 9.8K views

miemie

Having one of those weeks and have decided i need to start a diary to get back on track and feel better about myself.

I've always been frugal and quite proud of myself for not being overly materialistic, i enjoy cooking and making things, but came away from a fundraising event this week feeling quite carp about myself for being this way, I live in a village which is supposed to be quite well off, people have all the latest gadgets, drive flash cars you get the idea, but what i can't work out is they have normal jobs so how do they afford all these things, myself and hubby both work hard and go without new this and that, i sell on ebay and do surveys to pay for yearly holiday and generally stretch things out, make do and try to be thrifty, yet i just felt rubbish on saturday, all these yummy mummies going on about how much they had spent in the hairdressers, holidays to the carribean and what new car they want next, one mum going on about how much she had spent on food in M&S well it would have fed my family for a month, sorry for the moan.

So decided i need to keep my self away from these people, concentrate on giving my family a good life with family time, good homemade food and love. I also need to be amongst like minded people which i know i will find here.

So today i have made a beef casserole, chicken and veg pie with left over chicken and veggies starting to look past there best, made a choc trifle for pud tonight, recieved a cheque for £29.54 from global test market and won 25p & 10p on free scratchies, having a lazy day athome with ds and dd and they are happy watching dvds and making a den out of boxes, I WILL KEEP TELLING MYSELF I AM NOT A RUBBISH MUM.

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Hi nice to meet you so to speak:D. I have asked myself the question of "how do they do it?" many times and the answer is simply more often or not Credit some people who live this way are up to there eyes in it!
I think its low self esteem to want the best hair style and holidays and then to brag about it. I dont mean to sound bitter as i to have had those holidays and thoose clothes and look at my signature i speak from experience!
We have a far better life now we are not able to do the old things we have fun days as a family not sat in restaurants drinking champagne when i look back it seems so pathetic. I am looking forward to christmas more this year as i will appreciate everything i am having champagne as a present.:D
I think you sound like a very stable grounded nice mum
Good luck
Btd

miemie

Thankyou BTD i know your right and what you have said is exactly the same as what my hubby said, i just came home feeling so rubbish and cried because i just did'nt feel good enough to be around them.

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Money does not make people better than you! x Give yourself a break.x

Poorbuthappy55

Hi miemie

I used to live in a village like yours - we moved in January this year. When I went to live in the village about 20 years ago it was lovely with real country folk and people who worked on the farms lived in the village. There were also quite a lot of people whose families had lived there for generations - this is a village with a population of about 300. BUT when house prices went up the houses/cottages were sold to people who liked the idea of country living and then complained about the mud etc. These were just like the people you described.

Don't them make you feel down you sound like a really lovely loving Mum. They are certainly no better than you. Wealth doesn't make a good person - hold onto your values.

The reason we moved from our home was because we didn't feel we belonged anymore.

Enjoy the time you have with your children.

xx

miemie

Hi poor but happy,
Myself and hubby are country people and hubby brought up on a farm, we moved here and thought it would be great living in a village, some of the local are great and the ones we get along with are those that are farmers have lived in the area all there life, its the ones that want to live the dream so to speak that seem to look down there nose at you if your not worth anything and i'm sure its not all people that move to the country that are like this.

Wish i could move, just can't afford it, would love a house in the middle nowhere, just me, the family and chickens

I have thought long and hard and decided i no longer will mix with these people unless i really have to, its hard with children when they play together, but it does'nt mean i have to mix socially with parents, i will be polite but will not get into big long winded conversations.

Poorbuthappy55

Hi miemie

I think you have exactly the right idea - polite and friendly but not too involved.

Only spend time with people you want to be with & just tolerate the rest.

Good luck

redsquirrel80

What a great post Miemie, you sound like a great mum, and what matters is that you and your kids are happy, not how much you can spend on holidays etc. Good luck! x

elantan

i noticed you didnt say anything about how these people are great parents ....and i think from reading your post you know what you believe to be a great parent and that is what you are aiming for ...if this is the case ...does it really matter if they can afford all thr materialistic things they can? at the end of the day will their kids be able to say i had fun playing with boxes and making a den using our imagination was amazing ...or will they say ...well mum bought me a wii so iplayed with it yeah it was fun ...but i wish i had spent more time with mum ...

life is what you make of it honey ...make it a good one ...and let them make thier own ...yours sounds much more fun anyway (if you were to ask me)

MrsAnnie

Miemie, thank you so much for your post!

I also have started to feel down lately, for some reason I am letting others get me down about how much is spent at Christmas . I wouldn't have normally classed myself as frugal, but I do limit the amount I spend on my DDs and DH and other family members at Christmas. Everyone gets something nice, but that is within budget. If I can't afford something, it just won't get bought. But lately with all the posts about xmas and seeing the ads on tv I am starting to feel mean and tight with money! Although I know that I am not. We always have a lovely Xmas dinner, a few nice pressies, a decorated tree, and a lovely time! But lately I feel that I have to keep reminding myself that it is love that matters not the amount of money spent.


Miemie, you are not a rubbish mum and neither am I :j !!!

miemie

Hi and thanks for the support everyone.

I hav'nt really mentioned these peoples parenting skills, as i did'nt want to sound as though i was ripping people to shreds, i know some of these mums really don't deserve there children and are just buying them off.

It really brought it home to me a few weeks ago when i was taking my DD and her friend to a party and i asked DD friend if she was doing anything nice in the holidays, she replied i'm going to holiday club, i said that will be nice, she replied with yes mum want me out from under her feet cos i get in the way, my heart was breaking for her.

Must go and do some surveys and put washer on, kiddies have gone outside to play so will try to tidy bomb site of front room :rolleyes:.