5 OS Pleasures in your Day Today part 2

Frith

And here are my pleasures for today. :-)

1) Not a bad sleep.

2) Bigger son had his day out with Grandma and Grandad today. They went to a local pub (where Nigel Slater got his first job). They have their own massive vegetable garden, pigs etc and the food is very good.

3) Smaller son and I had our lunch in Sainsburys caf! and he was very funny company.

4) Smaller son got to fill the windscreen washer bottle up outside Sainsburys so that pleased him.

5) They spent hours carving pumpkins this afternoon.

6) Went to see Planes at our local art deco cinema.

Smaller son and pumpkins.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

Chickenopolis

Frith- let it go hun xx you sound more angry with yourself . Please don't be . Mr. N needs to hire a cook ,a cleaner , a childminder and pet sitter and decorator??( it seems that he can clearly afford it)...If newbie is happy with that let her get on with it .You can't make people think or feel, please remember that -and you clearly were not the problem whether you were a size 6 or 66 . I would say be thankful that you have dodged a bullet .. Ex wife had 20 years of it..He needs to grow up quite frankly and take care of his responsibilities- kids and pets.

Loved the pumpkins xx

Broomstick

Frith, 'ridiculous and stupid' you are not. I read your rant and thought 'this is the boiling frog story' - you know the one where if you put a frog in a pan of water that slowly heats up it will not notice and die but if you put it in boiling water it will jump out? The incremental demands on you were put in place slowly. You are wise and wonderful to have put the whole picture together and very clever to no longer be trapped in that awful situation. What needs to happen next for you to complete the moving on?
Brilliant pumpkins - have they been given names?

B x

VJsmum

The relationship was absolutely terrible but I didn't realise, because it was better than my marriage.

Frith, love, this is the key part for me. I think you probably had hope because before you had none and you maybe wanted to prove to him and yourself that you were a good wife and a good mother and a good person. Maybe, too, he has realised that he can't continue to treat people as he treated you.

We all make mistakes, the important thing now is to know that you won't be in that position again and I think from the above that you won't. I hope you do leave the post there as I think others will be able to give better advice than I. But I think Chicken is right - you have had a rant, now forgive yourself and move on.

I know this is t'internet so we don't actually "know" you but we can see what a great mum you are (erm pumpkin carving? - I wish I had the time or the inclination to do one! ). Remember, I have seen your boys - over several days - and I have never seen such well behaved children, quietly playing cards, or riding scooters or whittling a bow from a tree branch. THat is their upbringing and that is down to you. Actually I find it hard to imagine when you say smaller son has a meltdown about something as that is a long way from the boy I saw

CCP

Frith - I can't add anything particularly useful other than to say again - it wasn't your fault. You're not stupid - just a good person who got taken advantage of, and no-one can be blamed for that.

Those are fantastic pumpkins - I particularly like the one with the diamond-shaped eyes.

mhagster

frith rant away! I sometimes write more than I should do here and then delete it as I think maybe someone knows who I really am! Should have chosen a different name. Take a deep breath in and out and let his new lady friend get on with things....you have 2 lovely boys, a lovely sounding set of parents and siblings who set a good example to your boys.
Big hugs from Australia.

Right tis Tuesday Schmuesday and nearly bedtime again, I'm reading a really good book and just want to read it but I get about 2 pages in and I'm zzzzzzz

Worked (darn hard) today for 10 hours and was cream crackered by the end of it. We re-open tomorrow but I have a day off! I should get a decent pay next week.

Went for cheap and cheerful lunch with the girlies from work. So much for taking fruit in but it was cheap!

Went a walk with OH after tea ...went over the scary bridge( I think OH was rather horrified at my reaction and how I walk over this bridge...it goes over a 6 lane highway) and then a longer walk than normal. I have 50 days before my holidays so need to do something! Going to try a no- carbing November!

DD2 had tidied up when I got in from work and DS hung/ brought in washing of the line. DD2 got an extra shift at work.

Stunning roses in so many gardens when we were walking ( including my own) , it must be a good year for them!

Right bedtime ! Night

ampersand

frith - your rant is NO SUCH THING.

You have expressed yourself with majestic clear sight, catharsis.
Consider yourself Queen of the Next Steps Stakes.
We are, of course, fellow runners and riders in Life generally, but you have taken a huge eyes-wide-open leap...and here you are, very safely, very soundly, steady and stable on the other side, even if you have shaky little looks back from time to time[increasingly in healthy disbelief ]

If I could put 1000 Thanks on Broomstick's post, I would:
The incremental demands on you were put in place slowly. You are wise and wonderful to have put the whole picture together and very clever to no longer be trapped in that awful situation. What needs to happen next for you to complete the moving on?

When I think of you with the not2bspoken+latest-slavey behind you, the dysfunctional boyvandals-keystealing lot adjacent and compare this to what we READ and SEE as Frith and Sons....you, and they, are way above any golden nugget in the mire.

And if they are, it's because of YOU and how you are with your secure family and your entire moral plane. Look at how you've lifted yourself free of the financial taint of exOH and benefit overpayment.
Just look at that photo!
We can add it to the album of so many good pics you've allowed us to share here.
Your professional training - yes, don't forget your Degree - is forensic, eye for detail, stuff of Truth and timelines. This is what you have minutely, carefully, excavated and laid out in your post. It cannot be improved upon.

It takes time for a rare jewel to find its complement and mate...you will. As you've found, they're scarce but you need never again compromise, mistaking 'less bad than the last' for 'better than nothing.'
Yes, there are times when The Absent One is an aching gap, but you have family and friends. Over and again, 'old school friend popped round for tea' features in your pleasures, which we duly share.

Either new woman nextdoor will succeed or she won't. So what?
Throughout, you and your boys are making every sort of good progress, rock-solid.
####################
All of this is as nothing against that picture - what outstanding pumpkin work!

Congratulations, Sons of Frith.

whitesatin

Frith, I can't think of anything to write that would make you feel better but getting it off your chest has to be a good thing.

There are many things I look back on and cringe at them, knowing that I was very put upon but I won't let that spoil my life.

You sound like a lovely person and mum. I won't say what he sounds like. Good luck to his new lady, she will need it by the sounds of things.

whitesatin

My five pleasures of the day (so far):

1. The sunshine on the trees, a beautiful sight to cheer me up. It is 4.15 right now and the light is spectacular.

2. Had a productive mooch around the charity shops and bought a good few things (see OS Charity shop board)

3. Got an invite to an early Christmas lunch with family who are off on travels over Christmas. It makes it feel so near and I love Christmas.

4. Got some packing for my Scotland trip done (using the aforementioned Cath Kidston suitcase, lol).

5. Had a nice soak in the bath, washed and did my hair and I am lounging around in what amounts to my pjs, lol.

6. Got an easy dinner to cook, sweet and sour chicken using a jar of sauce, so easy, so tasty.

Oops! That's 6 pleasures, not 5.

Skint_yet_Again

Frith (((HUgs))) I echo what everyone else has said... don't beat your self up about what happened in the past and why some other woman gets treated better now.... you are in such a good place now compared to then its only now that you can see it clearly for what it was. You are a kind person to have stuck with him and his boys for as long as you did. Your boys have not come away from the experience with any long term harm. Onwards and upwards x

CCP so sorry to hear stupid woman at CP has taken the shine off your excitement x

Pleasures for last few days:

1. no storm damage. Locally a few branches down around the park and cemetery but no real damage thankfully

2. lots of washing done in the wind and sun. Got sheets washed yesterday and dried on the line

3. DS has gone away for a few days with work.:D Not a pleasure when he got up at 4am this morning to be picked up early but I did manage to doze back off for an hour before work

4. got some new cream from doc for my varicose eczema on my leg which has been itching so much it has been driving me mad. Think I'm allergic to lanolin in last cream

5. baked some fat free/low fat & sugar free banana muffins and they are not bad... must take this diabetes seriously and cut my sugar intake

Have a good evening x