why ????

mrcow

nikkit72 wrote: »

I'm not sure where your coming from , and where you got sulking nasty comments from , erm maybe you are there mother ,
the kids were playing the 2 sisters were swearing and hitting my DD that was the 5 yr old btw !! i had to tell her earlier in the day about swearing at her cousin who had come round, and why would they need to be supervised in there bedrooms at 11 and 12 years of age ?
we were downstairs , do you supervise your children 24/7 ?
it is a great place to be here , we couldnt do much to do with the weather, we cant go out much as the youngest is sick even travelling 2 miles in a car,

ive take everybodies comments on board , many thanks

No I'm not their mother, but if I were, I'd seriously be questioning what exactly was going on round your house. As to whether you should supervise your children 24/7, well, if they were so poorly behaved that they were swearing about family members on the internet, then yes, I think I probably should be doing!

You can try and blame the 5 year old child as much as you like, but at the end of the day, the situation that you are finding yourself in right now is down to poor parenting and poor child management.

Be angry at whoever you feel like if it help, but nothing is going to change until you start changing.

Parenting takes effort.

Dancing_Shoes

OP - Your hormones will be all over the place at the moment so take some time to have a nice bath or some other way to relax before sitting down with your oh to talk things through. If his children are to continue visiting then there needs to be ground rules and they certainly cannot continue to hit your daughter. I can completely understand why you are both jumping to the defence of your natural children that is just human nature but I am sure once you have all calmed down you will both realise that all parties are just children and it is a small argument that in the childrens eyes will blow over. The ex should not have been looking at your daughters facebook page (if it was her that found this) and also should not have let such a petty argument stop the children seeing their dad, she as an adult should have spoken to you both and explained her concerns. Well done to your daughter for apologising, not an easy thing to do at 12;) but shows your good parenting skills, unfortunately for the other children their mother doesn't appear to have the same skills:rolleyes:.

DX2

nikkit72 wrote: »

oh and ofc hes girls are angels !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT, they were doing stuff to my DD that day by hitting her and swearing at her ....

I dont know what to do, if i wasnt pg , i would tell him to get out and find somewhere else to live and be happy with hes two perfect children

Sorry so long i am so angry .

Such hatred and resentment about your OH's children.

paddy's_mum

I think that some of the responses in this thread have been harsh and quick to point fingers of blame with little evidence.

Where is there displayed any more "hatred" than I've seen a thousand times or more on this site against nosey mothers in law, tactless relatives or insensitive neighbours.

The OP has already made it clear that she was both angry and upset when she first posted. It is a rare group of people who don't on occasion fall out and start hurling insults at each other. Perhaps accusations of poor parenting should be directed at all three of the parents in this scenario rather than at just the one who has come on here to get something off her chest and is at least willing to take on board the advice of others.

It is for the OP to decide what is advice and which comments add nothing to her understanding.

onetomany

omg my 13 year old son has posted stuff like i hate my mum, does that mean im a bad mum nooooooooooo it means my son was cross at the time and needs to learn to vent his frustration in another way i feel some of the comments to the op is a bit harsh x

stokefan

i would love to be a fly on the wall in all your houses, how dare any of you be judgemental about the ops parenting skills, and as we all know kids will be kids (im pretty sure some of the comments on here are off kids) or perhaps some of you dont have them???

the op came on here for advice and some of you "keyboard warrior types" need to take a good look in the mirror, dont let them bother you op

mrcow

stokefan wrote: »

i would love to be a fly on the wall in all your houses, how dare any of you be judgemental about the ops parenting skills, and as we all know kids will be kids (im pretty sure some of the comments on here are off kids) or perhaps some of you dont have them???

the op came on here for advice and some of you "keyboard warrior types" need to take a good look in the mirror, dont let them bother you op

Yes that's right - let's all tiptoe around the issue of the fact that there is some shocking behaviour being described here. No wonder so many children are growing up so dysfunctionally. It's not "kids being kids" - if you really think that, then you need help.

If the OP only wanted tea and sympathy, then they should have stated it in their opening post. Otherwise, you get what you're given when posting on a public forum - especially when you're posting such worrying details.

onetomany

omg my kids argue all the time but thats ok just as long as nobody else does then they are like glue, as for parenting skills i grew up in care brought up by the so called proffessionals and boy was there fights in childrens homes , did anyone juge the proffessoins ? no because thats what society expected so its no diffrent in a so called normal envioment diffrent veiws etc , there is only one way to stop sibbling rivary (weather natrual/or step sibblings ) at that is stick with one child x

mrcow

onetomany wrote: »

omg my kids argue all the time but thats ok just as long as nobody else does then they are like glue, as for parenting skills i grew up in care brought up by the so called proffessionals and boy was there fights in childrens homes , did anyone juge the proffessoins ? no because thats what society expected so its no diffrent in a so called normal envioment diffrent veiws etc , there is only one way to stop sibbling rivary (weather natrual/or step sibblings ) at that is stick with one child x

This makes no sense whatsoever.

stokefan

mrcow wrote: »

Yes that's right - let's all tiptoe around the issue of the fact that there is some shocking behaviour being described here. No wonder so many children are growing up so dysfunctionally. It's not "kids being kids" - if you really think that, then you need help.

If the OP only wanted tea and sympathy, then they should have stated it in their opening post. Otherwise, you get what you're given when posting on a public forum - especially when you're posting such worrying details.

i need help???

im the one giving constructive advice, what are you doing ??? being a keyboard warrior who probably doesnt eve have kids, people like you make me sick, help and manners cost nothing, people like you are the reason this country is in a state.