Do I have a right to time off work for scan of baby?

Laurenbelle

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I have 3 children and i wanted my husband at every one!! And he wanted to be at every one! We managed that and am so glad we did so i absolutely understand where you are coming from. It is horrible for a company to deny a father that and worse so if it is just for spite. The days of dad not being allowed into the delivery room are far gone and this sounds similar. I too applaud the interst you are taking it is great for your G/F to have your support with every part of her pregnancy.
I don't have any tips but perhaps if you can gather all of the information as to why you arent allowed the day off and put an 'argument' towards that (all on paper) and pass that on to a superior then maybe it will be looked at more seriously.
GL with that and all the best for the rest of the pregnancy.

Emmzi

Glass_Half_Empty?? wrote: »

And what on earth makes you think I should?? You the boss around here or just like to have a go at folk? I feel for your family if you have one that is, must be hard to live with someone so perfect

Glass,

just want to suggest that if this is the tone you take at work - I can understand why people feel rubbed up the wrong way. What may seem concise to you may feel aggressive to other people.

You catch more wasps with honey than vinegar.

lilmisschick

It seems a lot of people are suggesting that a father being present at the scan is way down on the scale of importance after his/their job as he is not the mother.....:rolleyes:

What (and I wouldn't wish this on anyone) if his g/f went to her 20 week scan to find out the baby had a serious life threatening condition, because after all, it is an anomaly scan!! The scenario if he was working, at the office, in the lorry, she calls him to tell him the worst possible news and he is not there for support to one another!!!

I completely understand where you are coming from, I had my 20 wk scan last week, it's my 3rd baby too and I was so glad my fiance was there as its not only a support for me but a time for fathers to bond and see their unborn baby dancing around on the screen..(as they don't feel the kicks etc) my fiance loves it sooo much and you sound like you do too!! Shame all men aren't like that about their children! :rolleyes:

Good luck with the pregnancy.... you never know, you might be back on here in a few months cos they wouldn't let you leave work at short notice when she goes into labour and you'll be jumped on again for not putting your job first!! (Make sure your g/f has a stand in birthing partner, lol) :rotfl:

~Loz~

I don't have any input into what to do about getting the time off, good luck with getting the time off or changing the scan date.

I did however want to say good on you for wanting to be at the scan.

My ex couldn't be bothered with any of mine or the birth, it will be a great family experience for you and your girlfriend/wife to experience together.

Good luck.

Glass_Half_Empty??

Emmzi wrote: »

Glass,

just want to suggest that if this is the tone you take at work - I can understand why people feel rubbed up the wrong way. What may seem concise to you may feel aggressive to other people.

You catch more wasps with honey than vinegar.

That dear was a joke :rolleyes: Suppose you think she is ok to judge me as being a bad Dad before the baby is born though eh :rolleyes::rolleyes:



Thanks for the ones who support me on this thread, it seems to me the only ones that dont think it is important for me to be there are the ones who didnt get the support I am trying to give my partner off of theirs when they needed it and now appear bitter about it :cool:
I am trying to be a good bloke/partner/Dad to be by being there with her every step of the way and I am so sorry if I think that my family should come before any half wit who gets off on denying me time off to enjoy such an occasion. It is nice to know there are so many unhappy bitter folk in the world as it makes me feel better knowing that I am in a very good loving trusting relationship, something these bitter folk can obviously only dream of :beer:

ladybez

I think its brilliant that you want to be at the 20 week scan. It is truely amazing to see the baby in detail and moving around. I'm only sorry that my husband couldn't be bothered, except for the time I had to have an amnio and even then he felt so ill seeing the needle that he had to sit outside!! Decided I was better off without him there!! Good luck with the baby

poet123

Glass_Half_Empty?? wrote: »

That dear was a joke :rolleyes: Suppose you think she is ok to judge me as being a bad Dad before the baby is born though eh :rolleyes::rolleyes:



Thanks for the ones who support me on this thread, it seems to me the only ones that dont think it is important for me to be there are the ones who didnt get the support I am trying to give my partner off of theirs when they needed it and now appear bitter about it :cool:
I am trying to be a good bloke/partner/Dad to be by being there with her every step of the way and I am so sorry if I think that my family should come before any half wit who gets off on denying me time off to enjoy such an occasion. It is nice to know there are so many unhappy bitter folk in the world as it makes me feel better knowing that I am in a very good loving trusting relationship, something these bitter folk can obviously only dream of :beer:

Sorry to disappoint, but my husband was at every scan, and has been by my side every step of the way for 28 years and 4 kids. I am sure I am not the only poster on here who doesnt fall neatly into the pigeon hole you have created for us because we have the temerity to have other viewpoints than yours.

It is the attitude you are displaying that is rubbing people up the wrong way. Yes, it may be a problem, but there are ways around it, and in the final analysis it is not worth risking your job and long term security over. That is what people are trying to get across. You dont seem to want to re arrange the scan which is a simple thing to do, many of us who did have our partners there had to do this. I can think of one occasion when my husband was unsure if he could get there, but had he not because of work committments, I would have had to accept it and get over it. These things happen.

As others have said, you are coming across as quite childish by stamping your foot saying the scan will go ahead and I will be there. Step back, try to get around it, and dont risk your future by being too bolshy about it. You may find that when the baby arrives and you are really needed at home on occasion, that a liitle goodwill from your boss will be a good thing to have. Don't burn any bridges at this early stage.

ETA thanked you in post 56 by mistake;)

MrsTinks

OP - not being funny but you need to chill... the more you stress the less supportive you'll be for your other half...
Move the flipping appointment! Ok it's not perfect but it's not exactly the end of the world! I had mine moved by the hospital a couple of times and there is every chance they may do that to yours too - and they got moved with less than a weeks notice! Why? Because of understaffing due to illness. What will you do if you get the day off and the week before they change the appointment by 2 weeks?
Instead of demanding time off from your employer then ASK nicely - but as they have explained to you that you can't have x date then ask them when would be convenient and contact the hospital and try to organise it for one of those days. Show willing even if you have a prior disagreement with the manager.
If you pull a sicky btw they have every reason to pull you in for a diciplinary - this you do not need with the stress of a baby on the way.
I know I was lucky my husband managed to be at both (actually all 3 - but that's a different story) scans - I guess it helps to be the boss

Your otherhalf might be frumpy about you asking her to get the scan rescheduled - and 99% of that will be hormones - not saying to underestimate them! But it's only an appointment and I know plenty of people who have had their anomaly scan at 23 weeks... The only time it is truely time critical is if you would go ahead with a termination if there was a problem... If that is the case for you then I would say paying to go private should be a priority for you in any case...

Glass_Half_Empty??

Ok !!!!!! I have actually said im not gonna dig my heels in, that im waiting for my g/f to ring hospital to try to re-arrange and that im not gonna risk my job but lets not let facts get in the way eh :rolleyes:
And poet, I was winding you up, im sorry it appears to of worked very nicely to you have made me smile this afternoon Im really not like this in real life but once I got the reaction I did I went with it and shouldnt of
All advice is much appreciated and it is good for me to get other opinions to get a balanced arguement together without letting myself burn bridges as you say incase of a needed favour next year. I will still ask my boss if there is anything he can do with it being a one off and see what he says, if he says no I will have to re-arrange. Im lucky to have a good job on a decent wage so although I cant stand the !!!!!! in charge I will put up with it while there is no little work around for me as a lorry driver

Susan_Frost

Just ask the hospital the question - can the scan be re-scheduled or is it to stay at 20 weeks regardless.

They will only let you change if it is medically ok, so just ask. simples.