A Fool and Her Money- CAFCGIRL's Debt Diary

CAFCGirl

ZTD wrote:

Them? There's only one of me!

I have to go for haircut now (right now!), but I'll PM you later.

But just think of the fun we could have if there were more!

CAFCGirl

oh dear............



fear I may have hit my own self destruct button today...........

£50 total spent today......................... WHY DO I DO IT TO MYSELF!

PeachPickle

CAFCGirl wrote:

But just think of the fun we could have if there were more!

Oh god. An army of them. Marching through the streets. Megaphones blaring "where's your spending diary?". Sentries at checkouts. I need to go and lie down :eek:

On the blowout front - don't beat yourself up about it. If you've bought stuff you regret, return it. If it's unreturnable, enjoy it and plan to not do it again :grouphug:

CAFCGirl

just in a beat myself up about it all kinda mood today

Open_Wallet_Surgery

The spreadsheet was a bills one, didnt realise you'd already got one on the go !

Sorry to hear that you "splurged" £50 yesterday, was there a reason or perhaps an underlying emmotional trigger ?

Managed to read half of Martins book last night, best £3.99 I've spent in a while, do you have a copy ?????
(Yes I know sad g*t, home and sober on a Saturday night!!!!:rotfl: )

CAFCGirl

I've got the first edition but found a lot wasnt overly applicable to me with insurance and lots of mortgage/endowment stuff........

As for the spend, I'm trying to figure out exactly what happened there. Its actually really doing the rounds in my head, I didnt feel too bad yesterday (or maybe I did and couldnt admit it) but I felt a lot worse after!

CAFCGirl

am having what I can only describe as the most appalling day for weeks!

I just feel so rotten after yesterday and the past week. Its not like one thing has even happened, it just feels like no matter what I try, I always end up on my ar*e.

I've just sat here wrapping the bf birthday present after he phoned me last night at 3am to tell me he'd be down today because he wants to see me, so I get all excited etc, spend my morning cleaning up, making a birthday cake for him, and I've had to text him to find out when he'll be down and he's now decided he's got soemthing better to do and so wont be bothering!

Suddenly realised that this whole taking him to new york thing, and making a hamper for it has cost me a small fortune! And I've just spread it over a longer period of time, loads of small things all add up!I could just have bought him what he asked for, instead of trying to be all bl**dy thoughtful and saved myself all that hassle!

Sitting here crying my eyes out, feeling and looking like cr*p, noone to talk to in my real life, and noone apart from the friends I've made on here, who have been better friends to me in recent weeks than anyone in my actual life.

I'm still going through this whole process of realising my actual situation and its scaring the hell out of me. I haven't done or achieved anything that I set out to, and I let myself down more than anything with all my half baked plans that never come to fruition.

I just want to give up.

debbycatz

!!!!{Hug}}}

Here is a hug for you CAFC Girl. Really sorry you are having such a bad day.

I think you should let your boyfriend know how much he has upset you by letting you down like this. Have a good rant at him.......then enjoy making up

Please don't beat yourself up about what's in the past. If you want to do better, set yourself smaller challenges until you feel you have gained a bit more strength and will power and then increase your challenges.
No good getting mad for what has gone - you can only change what is ahead and if you want to be sat here next Sunday afternoon feeling like you have accomplished something, then you need to set some doable goals for yourself.

Good luck - I read your diary often and I like you

CAFCGirl

debbycatz wrote:

Good luck - I read your diary often and I like you

thanx.
made me cry even more

i just feel so utterly useless.
Its like i almost sabotaged myself, i set myself up to fail.
I feel like i want to do it but i havent really tried which makes me think the whole lightbulb moment didnt really happen for me............... like so much else

ZTD

CAFCGirl wrote:

I've just sat here wrapping the bf birthday present after he phoned me last night at 3am to tell me he'd be down today because he wants to see me, so I get all excited etc, spend my morning cleaning up, making a birthday cake for him, and I've had to text him to find out when he'll be down and he's now decided he's got soemthing better to do and so wont be bothering!

That's rather thoughtless. Exceedingly so in fact.

CAFCGirl wrote:

Sitting here crying my eyes out, feeling and looking like cr*p, noone to talk to in my real life, and noone apart from the friends I've made on here, who have been better friends to me in recent weeks than anyone in my actual life.

:grouphug: seems a little bit ineffectual right now, but *my* arms stop at the screen. I really hope you realise everyone is really sorry that you're feeling like this.

CAFCGirl wrote:

I'm still going through this whole process of realising my actual situation and its scaring the hell out of me.

It does, but when you can tie the monster down to exact figures and situations and problems and people, then you can start fighting it.

CAFCGirl wrote:

I haven't done or achieved anything that I set out to, and I let myself down more than anything with all my half baked plans that never come to fruition.

It's easy to call things that don't come off "half baked", but if you never fail, then you've never tried. If you've never tried then you could never have succeeded.

Planning is the key. You know now how stuff can go wrong, so expect it, and plan for it. You'll do it. Have faith.

CAFCGirl wrote:

I just want to give up.

Don't ever give up. You're worth more than that.