A Fool and Her Money- CAFCGIRL's Debt Diary

CAFCGirl

Not a bad day all round.

Slow day at work customer wise which wasnt great, but was the same last week so hopefully its a monday thing

Not much else to say really. BF came round yesterday but asked if he could bring his laptop to do some uni work, which I am absolutely fine, he was still here, still chatting to me, I was watching tv on the sofa, and as sad as it sounds thats almost what I want more of, more settled, more solid kind of relationship, where you can do your own thing in each others company and it not feel like a negative.
He came up to my bedroom when I said I was going to bed, and he watched tv with me, till I fell asleep and then he went and did more work and came back up a few hours later, but I was still pretty much zonked.

And that was nice

But...........
I'm not sure we've got any form of action decided for how we're going to get out of what we're in now if that makes sense...
I can't blame everything on him, because I play a part too, but I do feel I hold out on some things to punish him for his actions. Its all a domino effect.
I guess time will tell. But I'm at the point now where Ive given him so many chances and too much time, so how do you know when to call time as it were?

No spend today too

EagerLearner

Can you imagine yourself with him when you are 80?

Do the good times outnumber the bad?

It's questions like this you need to answer for yourself - you're a star and you need to make sure whoever you are with deserves you but also that you are both treating eachother with respect.

If you wipe the slate clean today, would that make things better to make a fresh start?

CAFCGirl

OH MY GOD!

Lets just forget all the above about the boyfriend.

The guy is a total fool!
He phoned. I asked him what he thought we should do to go forward etc, eh says he doesnt know, I say I need to talk thru some things that have happened to get over them.

And he cant see why?! Why dig up the past and rake it all over!
To get over it was my answer....

AAAAAARRGGGGHHHHHHH!

I'm so angry! Why do I feel like I'm the only one of us trying to find a way to make it better and make it work.

Told him either we do, and see if it helps, or we dont carry on the way we are and split up before next year!

I hung up after telling him to think about it, and what he wants and to call me when he's decided

gallygirl

Hon, allow yourself a spend day tomorrow. Buy a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. they really are from a different planet, not just your boyfriend.

When we are upset, and when we have been upset about something we want to talk it over, examine it from all angles etc. they just want to retreat to their cave and forget about it. It's not just your OH's fault! (I have been known to say 'and you can get out of your bl**dy cave right now because we ARE going to talk about it) (actually, I say it fairly regularly) :whistle:

CAFCGirl

lol the cave made me smile............

I've calmed down a little now.
Been reading the Beebs advice on productive arguing, a load of b**locks if you ask me, sometimes u need to scream.

Lets just see if he phones lol

gallygirl

Well, if he doesn't, remember many caves have very poor reception.

PS, if he won't come out of his cave you are free to roll a big stone over the front......

CAFCGirl

lol well i dont want to go turning him into some form of manly martyr, to the cause of being insanely relationship oddballs!

We shall see kiddies......

EagerLearner

Hope you got a good night's sleep hun - he sounds immature if he won't talk about things - let him mull it over... and don't chase him, let him come to you!

CAFCGirl

lol he rang me......

Apologies all round for the blowout argument we had.
Having a productive conversation later on tonight about what we're going to do and what we both want etc.

Surprisingly I had a really good nights sleep xx
Only woke up at 11am, obviously needed it.

I MUST PAY IN CHEQUES TODAY!!!

CAFCGirl

Update on the day.

I've paid in those pesky cheques! So thats £32.50 added to the New York fund.
I took back a jumper for £9
I spent £15 in tesco, so food is all sorted for the week.

And my mum is lurking on these forums somewhere, so Hi Mum, sorry I'm in debt, but you dont have to worry