A Fool and Her Money- CAFCGIRL's Debt Diary

CAFCGirl

Well sounds like you're as clued up for the time being as you need to be. Remember we're all here for you when you do decide to post!

Quick update from me, another no spender today! Woohoo. Doubt I could make that stretch all the way up to next pay day but hey ho! Only 23 days to go

Havent really done much, still got the remnants of a cold which comes and goes, last night had a really bad throat. Felt awful.

Had a long old chat with my best friend last night (the one who is moving here) about the BF. I think I've realised that this relationship (for him) is not a future plan, and its not going to last forever, nor (almost) does he want it to. That might all sound really confusing.

So I'm still thinking about the direction the whole relationship is going. I dont want to split up with him (yes I know ZTD, he IS a sackless tart!), and maybe I am living in naive hope that things will change.

But I have decided that from this point on, my life is going to be more about me. I've been thinking about things I want to achieve in life, and it dawned on me that so what if I dont want to go out clubbing/drinking, or do catwalk fashion. People who truly want to spend time with me will appreciate that fact! I know I have to get back together and involve myself a little more in life, but I dont have to do what everyone else thinks I should.

That might all be some serious waffling and not make any sense to anyone else, but such is!

So I'm a happy and content bunny.

Txt/Calls from bf: None

ZTD

CAFCGirl wrote:

Had a long old chat with my best friend last night (the one who is moving here) about the BF. I think I've realised that this relationship (for him) is not a future plan, and its not going to last forever, nor (almost) does he want it to. That might all sound really confusing.

No it doesn't. He views you as a gf, not as a life-long companion.

CAFCGirl wrote:

So I'm still thinking about the direction the whole relationship is going. I dont want to split up with him (yes I know ZTD, he IS a sackless tart!), and maybe I am living in naive hope that things will change.

If he doesn't see you as his future, then you will split up no matter what you want. I've been in the situation of hoping things will change. You get fed just enough hope to keep going.

CAFCGirl wrote:

But I have decided that from this point on, my life is going to be more about me. I've been thinking about things I want to achieve in life, and it dawned on me that so what if I dont want to go out clubbing/drinking, or do catwalk fashion. People who truly want to spend time with me will appreciate that fact! I know I have to get back together and involve myself a little more in life, but I dont have to do what everyone else thinks I should.

No. Do what you like and enjoy. Other people like and enjoy different things. Some will like some of the things you like, and you can do those things with them - IYSWIM.

And while you are - you can get to know people, and see if they are - or know of anyone who is - someone you might like to be with...

CAFCGirl wrote:

That might all be some serious waffling and not make any sense to anyone else, but such is!

It makes perfect sense.

CAFCGirl wrote:

So I'm a happy and content bunny.

Excellent. I'm really happy for you.

CAFCGirl wrote:

Txt/Calls from bf: None

And the good news just keeps coming...

CAFCGirl

even find a beautiful place to go on holiday too. After New York obviously....

Open_Wallet_Surgery

Changed my sig ....

Not really bothered if anybody approves ....

BUT

Going to start contributing thro payroll giving at work .....
Figure as the Govt dont fund any of the air ambulances in this country, and I see one land at least once a day.......

Without getting political here, this country spends £5million a day in Iraq to prop up Mr Bush and our NHS is dying.........

Nuff said:money: :money: :money:

Open_Wallet_Surgery

>>But I have decided that from this point on, my life is going to be more about >>me. I've been thinking about things I want to achieve in life, and it dawned on
>>me that so what if I dont want to go out clubbing/drinking, or do catwalk >>fashion. People who truly want to spend time with me will appreciate that >>fact! I know I have to get back together and involve myself a little more in >>life, but I dont have to do what everyone else thinks I should.


BRAVO !

EagerLearner

Hi C - just read your thread from start to finish over last night and also this morning (yes, I did sleep in the middle:p !) - your journey has been amazing and it's true to say that your self-confidence and attitude towards life have expanded enormously since post #1 - the folks on MSE and your own learning have had such a huge impact! I bet you never thought you would be feeling so great and on track as you do now! New job, got rid of old flatmate, telling boyfriend what's what, savings in your account and on top of bill payments - you are an inspiration. What's more, you will have affected so many people who have read this thread, they will have gone off and made changes BECAUSE OF YOU!!! :beer:

You seem to have a bunch of spreadsheets already, so the one below is yet another for you to have a peek at... see if it helps in terms of your spending monitoring

What a bright shiny star you are - keep up the good work - a positive attitude and some determination have a lot going for them - and they're FREE!

I have subscribed and will return often - the support on this thread is astounding :T :T :T

Open_Wallet_Surgery

OK OWN UP:money:

Where ya'll hiding

Its too damn quiet in here :shocked:

CAFCGirl

I'm sorry Open!

I've been working all weekend so havent been on.

Yesterday the BF came round, and I let rip!
Not in a passing wind kinda way you understand!

Told him everything. How I let him have too many chances and I'm just fed up and how its almost not even worth bothering anymore, because as much as I love him, neither of us are enjoying it.
I think I can safely say I rocked his boat.

He didnt say too much, which Im actually quite glad, he started down the road of but I have been trying to be more affectionate, which ok yes he has, but ignoring me for 4 or 5 days at a time wipes all that out.

You either do it all or you do none of it.

He's asked if he can see me again today, which ok may be a token effort after last night but I think it finally clicked with him.

And if it hasn't, I think I'm getting much stronger to face, after giving him an opportunity to change following this chat, that it may eventually all end.

Which is something else I pointed out

So all in all a much happier bunny
Busy weekend at work, and tommorrow looks like itll be just as busy if not more so!

CAFCGirl

Hi C - just read your thread from start to finish over last night and also this morning (yes, I did sleep in the middle !)

You dont need to lie to us, we've all sat here in our pj's reading threads to the early hours!

Or maybe my diary just sent you to sleep?

What a bright shiny star you are - keep up the good work - a positive attitude and some determination have a lot going for them - and they're FREE!

Awwwwww thanks hun. Reaching out for a hug!

EagerLearner

Well done C - guys sometimes need straightening out - it's like the old saying - something like:

"Men are like tiles - lay them right the first time and they'll stay straight!"

Sounds like he's off licking his wounds and will hopefully improve. I did that with my OH early on - he still remembers it to this day! That was 5 years ago and I married him - see what a stern word can do