Would a reckless spender put you off a relationship?

After seeing the thread regarding debt keeping us single, I thought about it on the flip side, as this is quite relevant to me at the moment.

If you liked someone but they have a reckless attitude to spending (ie it all went on going out, nothing in savings) would that put you off? (i know it does me)

Having read a couple of recent threads it seems to me that for someone to change there habits, then need to want to change themselves.

Also another point is that money is one of the biggest causes of arguments (been there done that), means that if one partner saves and the other spends then there is bound to be an ego clash at some point.

It seems to me that maybe I am very picky, or maybe a little too optimistic but even though id like a relationship at the moment, the fact that most of the people I like, have a non existant plan or indeed any desire to work on improving there finances, indeed to the extent that in some cases it makes me very frustrated and them bored when i try to give them some insight :S

I always seem to come to the same conclusion, that this has become one of the most important aspects of my life and it would be nice to get that balance there, if it wasnt there it would just go downhill

I mean, im not getting myself out of debt just so some young lady can help me run it back up again! ;)

For the time being im happy being single, im quite content with my life and am finally getting my act together and trying to learn and set myself up for life, but im sure that if i found someone who wanted to go along the same path it would be much better



  • Jays
    Jays Posts: 410 Forumite
    Yes, a reckless spender would definitely put me off, wouldn't touch with a barge pole. On the other hand, would not like someone too tight either, got to live a little too.:beer:
  • tina68
    tina68 Posts: 461 Forumite
    Yes it would put me off
    on this day 23/05/1430
    Joan of Arc captured and delivered to the English
  • Dr.Lou
    Dr.Lou Posts: 266 Forumite
    Definately would put me off. Am lucky that my OH and I agree on the way we handle money.
  • And me, balieffs banging at the door and endless phone calls about non payment does not make for a happy life.
  • Ali-OK
    Ali-OK Posts: 4,073
    First Anniversary Debt-free and Proud!
    Yes, there needs to be a balance of saving/spending, but after being on here, I'd probably become a MSE Nag and drive them away anyway! :rotfl:

    Looking back, I seem to have had relationships with men that are very good with their money, so maybe there is hope for me yet.

    It's another one of those areas of compatability - I'll add that to my check list! ;)
    Back on the DFW Wagon:

    CC - £3,300 on 0% til 04/2020
    CC - £4,500 on 0% til 02/2019
    Loan - £12,063.84 as at 4/1/18
  • In_Search_Of_Me
    In_Search_Of_Me Posts: 10,634 Forumite
    If you'd asked me this a couple of months ago I would have given a different answer which makes me laugh in itself! I could NEVER go out with someone who was "mean" (ie never got a round, tight with presents & generally didnt give & take) & there is a difference between caution & being downright tightfisted!! One thing I am finding really hard (& suspect always will!) is that I am a giving person by nature & not giving (or having to be innovative now!!) is a real struggle. Having said that I just couldnt go out with someone who spent like used to anymore...it would just wind me up too much now!! It would be a bit like being sober & having someone drunk all the time! No ta!! All about balance for me so want someone to be able to do treats but not someone who spends with wild abandon...(as ever - long answer to short question!!! what am I like eh!!)
    Nerd no 109 Long haulers supporters DFW #1! Even in the darkest moments, love and hope are always possible.

  • Anastacia
    Anastacia Posts: 470 Forumite
    Perhaps its time to start AN MSE singles club ?

    Too late for me, married to someone for 20 years, but his intentions are generally good even if he strays a bit when he sees a bargain.:T

    ....another happy bug.........sorry,blogger embracing the simple life
  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Hung up my suit! Mortgage-free Glee!
    I am married to a Yorkshireman so the problem of reckless spending has never arisen ( joke) fortunately we both have the same attitude to money, you can only spend it once.
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • lynzpower
    lynzpower Posts: 25,311
    Combo Breaker First Post
    I think its important to have the same goals in a relationship.And knowing where you want to be in the future, and be living toward it. However Im glad my OH is philosophical about it, if he had a no to tragic debt cases he wouldnt be marrying me ;)

    Luckily for me, my OH loves bootsales & charity shops & his idea of spending wildly is TKMAXX! Ive bagged a good un :)
    :beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
    Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
    This Ive come to know...
    So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:
  • Tr@cker
    Tr@cker Posts: 532 Forumite
    Being in debt isn't so bad so long as you have adequate income, i'd being looking for someone in the same boat-12k unsecured or similar and 20-22k per year job.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 341.7K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449K Spending & Discounts
  • 233.8K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 605.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.4K Life & Family
  • 246.5K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards