Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

green1970

Always a toughie this one. I hope to get married towards the end of 2009 and I have lived with my partner for over 8 years so we have pretty much everything we need, other than savings.

I'm only concerned that people will be there to see us getting married and I couldn't give a fig if we got no presents at all. There's a few things we'd really like that are so expensive, things we could never buy ourselves, huge Le Creuset casseroles that will last a lifetime, etc, so I suppose we could ask that family members club together for those things. Spending money for a honeymoon would be brilliant though for those that don't mind giving cash as a present. I would never ask for anything though

I'm not offended by being asked for cash for a wedding. The way I think of it, I like to pay my way and I'd spend £50 on a meal with wine with pleasure so would have no problem giving that amount as a gift. Even with family get-togethers, I'd never go empty handed and would always bring plenty of booze or some nice desserts or a lovely bunch of flowers or another gift.

If it was a friend and I cared about them enough to share their wedding with them, all day or just the night, I'd personally feel a bit guilty scarfing all their food and enjoying the music all night if I hadn't at least stumped up the cost that I'd usually chuck away on a takeaway pizza for us.

McKneff

really good idea about the champagne - will use that in the future
i really think its a bit cheeky asking for cash but on the other hand
i can understand it.
i remember free prescriptions, free dental treatment, free glasses
and i'm onlhy 55.

garty

:j l love it when somebody ask for cash instead off a present:j
how do you know what they have or what they need:cool:
give them something they have asked for CASH :rolleyes2
saves you spending ages in shops looking for gifts they do not need nor will use :T

polkadot

she_mac wrote: »

I'm thinking of asking for money as a wedding gift. I'm also going to make cute envelopes that I'll put in with the invitation to make the giving feel special, and maybe yep just a 'small gifts' list. At a previous wedding I went to, there was a gorgeously decorated post box for the envelopes. I think most people know how expensive weddings can be and so are happy to give a little dosh, especially if the couple have been living together and may not need the tradtional gifts. My best money saver though will be doing my own wedding flowers. I found this wicked site: www.diy-flowers.co.uk

My dad did this when he got married and Im hoping to do the same. Only, instead of even mentioning that money would be appreciated, my dad had his best man announce that they "forgot to get the guest book out and so there was a notepad next to the postbox we ripped out of the neighbours yard on the way in-could you all please just scribble a tiny note and after we return the post box we will paste the notes in the book". At the end of the night,it was my job to clear it out. There was almost enough money in it to pay the bar tab!!! And lots of stunning little notes to wish them all the best.

featherbum

i cant belive some of the things i am reading here.
I was actually looking on an indication on how much to give at a friends wedding, and i came across the stingiest rudest people ever in here!
the ones that got to me the most are:

-change the money to euros or dollars so it looks as if you gave more :mad:
-refuse to give them cash and get them b&q vouchers for a tin of paint

ARE YOU PEOPLE FOR REAL?? if someone is inviting you to their wedding its UNBEALIVABLY rude to turn up empty handed. Therefore you MUST give a gift. and what is the point on a USELESS gift. If the bride and groom ASK for money its because they WANT money. and what better gift to give something thats going to be enjoyed and appreciated?!
I cant even belive i am having to write this, to see if some ppl here can come to their senses.

I am getting married in 4 weeks, and guess what, i asked for money. To the person who said thats vulgar- trust me, i am not one bit vulgar.
Its what i want, its what i need. I didnt send a letter saying 'give me £100 or dont bother coming', i simply said any contributions towards our honeymoon will be greatly appreciated. And i wont be keeping track of who gives me what, i will thank them all equally.

I really CANT COMPREHEND why anyone would be difficult and not give the happy bride and groom what they really want, out of principle.
I dont want 5 toasters, or a skanky tin of paint. I want wonderful memories of a special honeymoon with my husband to be.

featherbum

may i add, i was SOOOO LIVID :mad: :mad: i took the troulbe to register in this forum to reply to this LUDICROUS messages.

If all you care about is saving your pennies, or make do by going into the 'gift cupboard' (oh what i'd give to peek into that cupboard) then dont bother sharing these people's special day, as the present should come from your heart, not from your cobweb infested pocket.

IWantToBeFree_2

If you want wonderful meories of a special honeymoon with your husband then why not save money to pay for it instead of expecting people to turn up at your wedding and pay for it?

I am not adverse to giving people cash for their wedding, and I would like it myself, or vouchers, but there is no way I am going to ask for it in the invitations, I want people to be there because they want to celebrate what I hope will be the best day of my life, not because I have overspent on a honeymoon and need someone else to pay for it for me.

I love how you have put MUST in capital letters re bringing a gift, I bet you are one of these types who have invited your cousins 5th time removed because you hope they bring a present along and not because you want them there.

Taking presents isn't a MUST and I know I won't be actively encouraging people to do so, no gift lists from me....

As for presents coming from the heart, surely a nice thought out gift would satisfy that than taking £50 from the ATM with no thought whatsoever.

Maybe you shouldn't have bothered registering if thats all you have to say, waste of bandwith.

VickyA_2

featherbum wrote: »

if someone is inviting you to their wedding its UNBEALIVABLY rude to turn up empty handed. Therefore you MUST give a gift.

I do beg to differ. With the cost of getting to a wedding, overnight accommodation etc the most important thing for me was having the people I loved and cared for were around me and my DH to witness our marriage. I didn't expect a present and my gift list only went to those people that had requested it. I definitely wouldn't have thought that people were rude if they had turned up empty handed.

geri1965_2

VickyA wrote: »

I do beg to differ. With the cost of getting to a wedding, overnight accommodation etc the most important thing for me was having the people I loved and cared for were around me and my DH to witness our marriage. I didn't expect a present and my gift list only went to those people that had requested it. I definitely wouldn't have thought that people were rude if they had turned up empty handed.

I totally agree with you. When I got married, I didn't have a wedding list - if people asked me what I wanted, I told them. Some people didn't give anything, which didn't bother me at all - I was just pleased that they were there.

[Deleted User]

Just had my wedding 3 weeks ago and received some exceedingly generous presents, however I can't help feeling disappointed that one of my ushers didn't send me anything other than a card. It's funny, we don't need any more money / gifts as presents, but it just feels odd and a bit rude. It's hard to get angry as he's an old friend.. but I know than when he gets married, I couldn't emulate his actions.

Him and his girlfriends were the only people to turn up empty handed. I even go presents from people not invited (neighbours, parent's friends etc.)

ho hum, never mind.