Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

katemcg

I'm surprised at how many people object to giving cash. It's a pretty easy thing to do - you save on petrol and time trawling the shops trying to find a gift.

While the days of helping setting up a house may be over, weddings themselves can be very expensive and usually a cash gift helps out with that. My boyfriend's brother asked for money as he and his partner didn't have a lot to spend on the ceremony, and we were with him after the wedding when he was counting the money. No one was judged by the amount they gave - in fact, we were astonished and touched at people's generosity.

Gorgeous_George

Gift vouchers are stupid. Cash is like a gift voucher that can be spent anywhere. There really is never a reason to give vouchers unless a particular type is asked for. Even then, cash works better. With vouchers, the shops have the money and the vouchers may not be used for one reason or another. Cash usually will be used. Cheques are even better.

If you have a home already it's nice to have a few gifts - but you can have too many mantle clocks or vases etc.

If they have asked just for money, respect them for that. A copy of the Kama Sutra with £20 in it might be the answer.



GG

Ajax18

Ok,

In reply to this. Me and my boyfriend are getting married in two months. We are 23 and 24 and still struggling to recover from years of studying etc... But we really want to get married now as we feel it's the right time.

We have not got much money and it gets more complicated with half the family coming over from Germany. So we are really having to budget with this. We will get married in a registrar office followed by a party in a nearby local (but lovely) pub which we managed to get for free. We are saving our heads off right now to be able to afford everything. But one thing that we absolutely can't afford is the honeymoon.

It therefore seemed natural to us to ask our guests (including the reception guests) for money instead of presents so that we can go on a honeymoon... We are not expecting much. £10 from everyone would be awesome. The most important thing is that they are there to celebrate with us!

Me and my boy have been living together for quite a while and have everything we need really. So I don't think it is a terrible thing to give money as a present as it would help us a lot more than a traditional wedding present...

Careful_girl

My husband is German and we had lots of cash given to us by the German family. It seemed strange to me and I had spent hours with His Lordship choosing the wedding list! What they did was similar to above where they made the notes into something. We wanted a new bed so his brother and sisters made a little teddy in basket and tucked lots of notes into it. Another relative made a washing line and another toy cars with notes as a road. I think if you make it look good and is personal to the couple then it can be fun. My husband told me that you should pay for the hospitality you have had at the reception, I have always given what I can afford. Like many have said above few remember how much you have given anyway. i think wedding cards can be stunning and will be kept so splash out on that and give the rest as cash.
Have a lovely time!!
CG:dance:

happenstance

Great advice here. My other half has got an invite for evening only and I'm doing my best to persuade him from getting a gift. Wedding gifts were originally to help set up the bride and groom in their new house and if they have been living together for 6+ years I don't really think it’s worthwhile going even more overdrawn to give a gift.

I think we might settle on a small charity donation with a related card as a gift, great excuse to give to charity and we don’t arrive empty handed.

Thriftylady

I posted quite early on in this thread saying that I hate being asked for cash, and I still stand by that. But having said that, if people choose to give cash, thats a whole other issue. When we got married, 7 years ago, we chose not to have a wedding list. Many people chose to give us money, and it was gratefully received. But despite having no list, we really got very few presents that we didn't like or haven't used. We were only in our early 20s so I suppose even our most elderly relatives realised that flowery china was not likely to be the way to go!!

I'm probably going to be bombarded with abuse for saying this, but I really wouldn't like it if I was asked to contribute to the cost of a honeymoon or a round the world trip or whatever, regardless of how nicely it was done. A honeymoon is something that the happy couple might (and probably will) choose to treat themselves to, but I don't really see why anyone other than the couple should contribute to it......

Tondella

Thriftylady wrote:

I posted quite early on in this thread saying that I hate being asked for cash, and I still stand by that. But having said that, if people choose to give cash, thats a whole other issue. When we got married, 7 years ago, we chose not to have a wedding list. Many people chose to give us money, and it was gratefully received. But despite having no list, we really got very few presents that we didn't like or haven't used. We were only in our early 20s so I suppose even our most elderly relatives realised that flowery china was not likely to be the way to go!!

I'm probably going to be bombarded with abuse for saying this, but I really wouldn't like it if I was asked to contribute to the cost of a honeymoon or a round the world trip or whatever, regardless of how nicely it was done. A honeymoon is something that the happy couple might (and probably will) choose to treat themselves to, but I don't really see why anyone other than the couple should contribute to it......

I agree thriftylady, I've never been to a wedding where cash for a honeymoon was requested, but my brother has been to a few now. My feeling is that a honeymoon is not a necessity, and if it can't be afforded by the bride and groom then they should look for something cheaper or wait and save. I'd be happy to give money if i knew it was going towards setting up home, decorating etc, although i would probably buy vouchers if this was the case.

Thriftylady

Tondella wrote:

My feeling is that a honeymoon is not a necessity, and if it can't be afforded by the bride and groom then they should look for something cheaper or wait and save. I'd be happy to give money if i knew it was going towards setting up home, decorating etc, although i would probably buy vouchers if this was the case.

totally !! I think there is a perception 'these days' (I'm making it sound as if I'm about 80 years old, but I'm only 30, honest!!) that a far flung honeymoon is some sort of entitlement, and somehow essential to a marriage, but a honeymoon is just a holiday, and probably more meaningless now than it ever has been before. In the past it would have been the first time that a couple had spent a prolonged period of time alone together, shared a bed, that sort of thing. If a couple have lived together for years they have already done all these things anyway, and I just can't understand exactly why they would then expect their wedding guests to contribute to some exotic, often overpriced, holiday just because they don't 'need' kettles, toasters, towels etc. They don't 'need' the fancy trip either, so to me that argument is illogical....

Reebles

Now, I agree with most of you here, there has been a social stigma placed on asking for money as a gift. One of the biggest issues is that there isn't a tasteful way to ask for money. A lot of people that have defended the act of asking for money as a gift have some of the same reasoning: I don't want to get them something they won't use, Why should I impose my tastes on them, If that is what they want, I should get it for them. All are true.

Well, there is new and exciting way to ask for money as a gift that is tasteful, and secure, http://www.reebles.com. You can now register for money, just like any other gift, and track who is giving what amount, etc... Check it out!

amandada

I was at a family wedding recently where the couple (who are both in very well paid jobs) asked for cash towards their exotic honeymoon.
I objected on the grounds that I've been married 10 years and not had a honeymoon, so I'm not funding someone else's!

That and the fact I already had something earmarked in the pressie cupboard!