Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

VK-2008

i dont think the money thing is a waste of time its very helpful my husband and i moved in before wedding so we had done our house up
we ended up recieving over 3.5k from our 150 guests
the money came in great as we manged to book a last min honeymoon, and got a lovely new flat screen for house and we still have cvash left over in savings
dont be quick to judge that they will recklessly spend the money they may be saving for something you are unaware of
i think gift lists etc are great as it means the couple are getting what they want

themull1

i hate it when people who want cash for their wedding do a stupid poem asking for the money, instead of a gift. it gets on my nerves.!

chelbel1981

themull1 wrote: »

i hate it when people who want cash for their wedding do a stupid poem asking for the money, instead of a gift. it gets on my nerves.!

We must be one of those then

In the last 4 weeks our oven and TV have died we are currently watching a 19" portable, we need large items rather than a million toasters and kettles. We haven't asked for vouchers either because we can shop around and surf the net for bargains with cash

loopyler

Have read this thread with a sinking heart. We are getting married in May and since i've been married before and have two children and we are living together already we really don't need anything. We haven't sent anything out with the invitations. But to those that have asked we have explained that we don't have a gift list, but are saving up for a new highland cow. We are going to Scotland for a long weekend for our honeymoon and will bring her home with us. It was her or our wedding - and we want her very badly but didn't want to always look at her and know she was why we never got married! This thread has made me feel bad and that I may have insulted our guets :-(

amus

I personally would much rather give money and it be spent on something useful to the couple than give a piece of tat that will never be used so ends up a complete waste of my money. Everyone has different views on gift giving but personally Id rather my money not go to waste.

Im asking for money for my wedding and if people get offended thats fine, youre never going to please everyone.

I have this same problem with my MIL, she never wants to give my kids money for their birthday but they already have far too many toys, clothes and personalised furniture, most of which will just end up forgotten about and eventually in the bin. Personally Id much rather save the money so they have a nice lump sum when they turn 18. But like I say different strokes for different folks!!

How much Im giving depends on whether Im invited to the day do, where the venue is etc. Personally I feel obliged to spend what the couple have spent on my meal. So anything between £10-75.

wiggychick

Advice on asking for money:
We got married in May, we both had pretty much everything we needed so asked people to donate to a charity that we have both been involved in,
but the gifts I was most grateful for were the offers of help with the wedding! I think it is all in the way the request is made and the need to give people options.

Lots of people would gladly give time chosing a thoughtful, inexpensive gift or doing something for you rather than giving £30 that they might not be able to afford, so please think very carefully before insisting on a "cash only" wedding.
These are certainly the most memorable gifts we recieved:
:beer: Photographs, cake, car, hairdressing, food, making favours and invitations, decorating church and venue, band(s), music, catering, advice.It all made for a very personal and wonderful day, moneysaving and at the same time so much better than if we had done it all ourselves.:beer:
In addition we raised enough to open a clinic at an orphange in Uganda! :j
Notes were sent to thank everyone personally for all of their contributions - financial or otherwise with an update of how their particular gift was used. This is really important if you want to let your friends and family know they are appreciated!

Wiggy xx

10 months and loving it:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Rahven

loopyler wrote: »

Have read this thread with a sinking heart. We are getting married in May and since i've been married before and have two children and we are living together already we really don't need anything. We haven't sent anything out with the invitations. But to those that have asked we have explained that we don't have a gift list, but are saving up for a new highland cow. We are going to Scotland for a long weekend for our honeymoon and will bring her home with us. It was her or our wedding - and we want her very badly but didn't want to always look at her and know she was why we never got married! This thread has made me feel bad and that I may have insulted our guets :-(

I think opinions have changed over the years on this, bear in mind some of these posts are very old! And people don't tend to speak up if they agree, only if they disagree.
It makes perfect sense to me to ask for money (obviously in a respectful way) rather than people not know what to get you, or you get a load of stuff you don't want/need. As someone above said I'd much rather give money so they can get what they really want.
I'm sure you won't have offended anyone, especially if they sit and think about it for a minute.

wiggychick

loopyler wrote: »

Have read this thread with a sinking heart. We are getting married in May and since i've been married before and have two children and we are living together already we really don't need anything. We haven't sent anything out with the invitations. But to those that have asked we have explained that we don't have a gift list, but are saving up for a new highland cow. We are going to Scotland for a long weekend for our honeymoon and will bring her home with us. It was her or our wedding - and we want her very badly but didn't want to always look at her and know she was why we never got married! This thread has made me feel bad and that I may have insulted our guets :-(

Loopyler - unfortunately it is nigh on impossible to please everyone all of the time, but I'm sure your friends and family know your situation and would probably gladly help you out buying your cow. (What a great idea!)
I think most of the indignation comes when guests feel like their gift doesn't mean anything to the couple except as a means of making cash. It doesn't sound like you'd be like that at all!
Good luck and all the best with the wedding and cow!

Wiggy xx

rob_hazeldine

hi i am a painter and i paint unique handpainted wedding pictures in a silhouette style, this is a gift i feel is better than cash. Studio Silhouette is the name of my Studio and I have delt with many couples that want something to remember from their big day. A wedding I feel is a one off event and should be celebrated with something that is timeless, a money donation could be a good idea if you offer them some to put towards something and some thought has been put in.

amus

rob_hazeldine wrote: »

hi i am a painter and i paint unique handpainted wedding pictures in a silhouette style, this is a gift i feel is better than cash. Studio Silhouette is the name of my Studio and I have delt with many couples that want something to remember from their big day. A wedding I feel is a one off event and should be celebrated with something that is timeless, a money donation could be a good idea if you offer them some to put towards something and some thought has been put in.

But what if you have 200 guests and five of them decide to buy such a gift? I think thats another reason people ask for money, theres no point in having five toasters, 12 bales of towels, 26 personalised teatowels IYSWIM. I would feel guilty because people will have just wasted their money buying something that wont be used. Yes you could sell the items on ebay, but then the end result will be money anyway, and probably less money than what the person originally paid.

I know its not the most thoughtful gift but IMO its the most logical in terms of money not being wasted.