"Bullying" on the forum

geordie_joe

I would have to ask MSE Andrea what she/the forum defines as bullying.

If you do a google search you will find many definitions of bullying. The one I think best defines bullying is the one at this link. Particularly item 3 under the heading Types of bullying

"3. There is an imbalance of power, which makes it hard for those being bullied to defend themselves."

But there are many others, including

"the act of intimidating a weaker person to make them do something "

"Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion"

"includes behaviours and actions that are verbal, physical and/or anti-social, such as exclusion, gossip and non-verbal body language"

So, if you are (verbally) attacked by someone and are well able to defend your self are you being bullied?

Similarly, if you (verbally) attack someone and they turn out to be tougher than you and reply making you look a fool, are you being a bully?

I think if you want to stop bullying you have to clearly define what you consider to be bullying.

geordie_joe

rosieben wrote: »

I've not seen any bullying but I think as Catarina says, OS'ers will sometimes point out if a poster is out of order and try to restore a balance;

I have had the finger wagged at me, along with "now, now children, play nicely and agree to differ". And I have said sorry and played nicely. But I have never felt bullied or that I was being a bully.

I prefer to be nice to people, but I can give as good as I get.

NualaBuala

I go through phases of being active on MSE and the main forums I visit are Old Style and Debt Free Wannabe, partly because they are the nicest and friendliest. They're really helping me save money and get my finances where I want them to be. My Mum and my Nanas are dead and I have nobody to ask cooking/housekeeping questions and I'm so grateful to have you all on Old Style to turn to for help when I need it. I have seen a bit of tension on other forums (fora?) but not here but then again, I'm not around all the time.

I hope we can all be nice to each other - after all, I think we all want much the same thing: to learn, share what we know and support each other.

tandraig

this IS one of the nicer boards - but - other boards i have been on - jeez - some people seem to take a delight in highlighting others faults. I think this may be a general enquiry as to how boards feel.
personnaly - I think praise vent and warnings gets the highest level of nasty posters - so i dont go there much. pity as sometimes i feel i can help then get my post buried in abuse. or abused.
on this thread its pretty much taken care of by other posters. other threads i have seen horrific abuse. even pornographic abuse to my mind. which, yes i reported, which doesnt make me popular with some people. i have seen people abused for spelling errors and people abused for being naive.
to my mind - people come on here for help - they may be so upset spelling and grammar is last thing on their mind - so i ignore that - if i understand post i will try to help if i can
If i think people are there just to ABUSE i will report them! tough if they dont like it!

Paulie'sGirl

I have to agree with some of the other posters, I did stop visiting OS, more because of the cliquiness than any overt bullying. I found it hard to feel part of the community where there were existing relationships going back literally years, and where it seems almost every question has been asked before, and one can be quite abruptly told one didn't search properly.

That said, I would also agree that this can be (or has been) a very friendly board. I hope we can all play nice and share, without teddies being thrown in the corner - after all, we all have the same aims?

PGxx

momoyama

I've only ever come across bullying on two forums: on one it was an overspill from another forum that I didn't frequent. The former forum died quickly. The other forum that I've seen it on... was here. Sad though that may be. The smoking thread became seriously nasty with people (well, one in particular) setting out just to upset. I was just dismayed that the only action was the closure of what at times had been productive thread, just marred a nasty minority.



As a side thing. I won't "agree to disagree". That's just overly PC nonsense. I'll quite happily and respectfully disagree, though. Disagreeing is what makes forums interesting and fun.

tandraig

I havent found OS to be clique-ey! as a fairly new poster i found OS to be very helpful (tho some posters have pointed out that the subject been covered before) but - often when you do a search it doest always come up with posts if you havent used 'exact' phrase. something you oldtimers dont always seem to realise.
saying that - the 'housekeeper' usually comes in and ties in threads! something not all newcomers know about!
I find this thread so friendly and helpful i try to visit everytime i come online. i try to help if i can and reading other posts i have got so many tips its better than kim and aggie!

zippychick

tandraig wrote: »

I havent found OS to be clique-ey! as a fairly new poster i found OS to be very helpful (tho some posters have pointed out that the subject been covered before) but - often when you do a search it doest always come up with posts if you havent used 'exact' phrase. something you oldtimers dont always seem to realise.
saying that - the 'housekeeper' usually comes in and ties in threads! something not all newcomers know about!
I find this thread so friendly and helpful i try to visit everytime i come online. i try to help if i can and reading other posts i have got so many tips its better than kim and aggie!

I agree it can be dificult if you don't know the name of a particular thread, but I think most times, people don't use the "search titles only", and if they did it would (nine times out of ten) find the relevant thread. That's just how I use it anyway

OS rocks. Long may it remain a peaceful and helpful place.

I would have rang my Gran to ask her a lot I find out on here, so for me, it's my wee comfort too (as she is no longer with us)

zippychick

zippychick wrote: »

I agree it can be dificult if you don't know the name of a particular thread, but I think most times, people don't use the "search titles only", and if they did it would (nine times out of ten) find the relevant thread. That's just how I use it anyway

Just logged back on to say that wasn't mean in an "im smarter than you" kind of way. I was trying to get off the web quickly a my computer is doing a big virus check and it's freaking because I'm trying to use the net at the same time :rotfl:

cooking-mama

Im new,and yes unfortunately ive experienced a couple of snidey replies,but do you know what?,it doesnt realy bother me because the nice/genuine/helpful replies far outweigh the occassional sarcy one.
Then again can i be 100% sure that ive read replies as they were intended?as the written word is easier to misinterpret than the spoken word.
I feel sorry for people who feel the need to be sarcastic or smart,they quite often are unhappy or lonely souls.