"Bullying" on the forum

Muddles

Oh that is sad I must say I have not noticed anything. You all seem so friendly and lovely here. One of the reasons I joined here was there was such good advice and everyone was so sweet. I hope it gets sorted.

anguk

What a shame, I've always found Old Style one of the friendliest forums on MSE.

I can't say I've noticed bullying as such but I have noticed that a couple of members do seem to get "jumped on" by the same few. It reminds me a little of school when someone is on the outside of a group and some things they say are picked at.

Of course some subjects are more emotive than others, feeding kids, recycling etc. I know there was one thread that really surprised me, I can't even remember what it was about, but it ended up with one poster almost being lectured on composting after they'd asked an innocent question, it was quite surreal!

Peartree

I post on MSE forums only occasionally these days because I don't think it is as broad in appeal and intersting as it was and I don't think all members are treated as 'equal' by some of the other members.

I don't think it is unique to MSE. I think issues arise with any forum as it evolves. You get groups of long-standing posters for whom the forum is a major part of their lives and they, increasingly, feel a sense of ownership. Friendships start to develop, threads get bogged down by the purely social (or anti-social) and you get factions emerging with different views. Eventually, it can all get rather heated. Quite a few of the MSE forums have gone that way, in my opinion.

It increasingly puts off new and occasional posters who might otherwise stay around and keep the forum fresh. Innocent posts by a new person can lead to big debates, generally quite irrelevant to the topic, amongst longstanding posters which are bewildering to the newbie.

I think it tends to manifest itself on this forum with different, and very entrenched, perspectives, on what does and does not constitute 'old style'. Some people's circumstances mean they want to live as frugally as possible at the other extreme some simply want to get their fillet steak for the best price and find a new recipe for it, with everything in between. All of those people should be able to post without others finding it necessary to judge and comment on their lifestyle choices.

Nevertheless, I thought Old Style was better than some of the others on MSE and in some ways I am a little surprised it has been singled out. There are other boards here on which I would not dream of posting because they are completely dominated by relatively small groups of people who know every detail of each others' lives or where there are people who seem to have become self-appointed board guardians making bossy comments about that topic having been covered in detail the year before last.

Some of the forums can feel very much like arriving at a party, where everyone else but you has known each other since childhood, on your own. It's not that everyone else doesn't seem very nice, but... From my own perspective, and I'm sure at least some others agree, I pop on, occasionally, for a bit of information, to share some knowledge where it is relevant or for a bit of amusement. I appreciate that others use forums in a more social way but I think there is a fine line between 'friendly' and 'cliquey' or when we are in the realms of personal messaging rather than a loosely on topic forum.

I do wonder, though, if forums have a limited lifespan or if a point comes at which a 'friendship' group emerges which reallly needs to 'spin off' to some other form of social networking for the health of the forum - as happened with the Boots thread that went toxic on Grabbit.

clutterydrawer

This is very sad...I use a lot of online forums and the OS board is the ONLY one where I've never seen any bad behaviour, it's a shame that there is some

notlongnow_2

Cyber-bullying???? If someone feels the need to bully someone they have never even seen before then the bullys need to go get a life....seriously!

Maybe it makes them feel 'big' to insult words on a screen. Those words are posted by a real person and can make people feel like $h!+.

Please think about your actions.

OrkneyStar

Thinking about it, I have not seen bullying but there are some cliques on OS....this said I just avoid them and stop posting on those threads! Easy enough!

hannah899

MUMMYTO2BOYS wrote: »

I've noticed a bit of hair pulling and somebody got their dinner money stolen.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I love this site i read here all the time but only just started posting in this section of the forum. I think your all so funny and friendly from what i have read. But as the saying goes you always get 1 :beer:

MrsCook_2

honestly not seen any bullying going on but another forum made me feel very uncomfortable the other day, it was hard to bite my tongue lol

Nordictat2

All I have to say is...

rosieben

I've not seen any bullying but I think as Catarina says, OS'ers will sometimes point out if a poster is out of order and try to restore a balance; we obviously have differences of opinion as in RL but OS is one of the friendliest forums I've ever joined and I'm sure the majority of users will make efforts to keep it that way.