DVLA sent back stained marriage certificate.

cleo1299

Pollycat wrote: »

Either your charm :rolleyes: worked or the advice you got from the 'other' website was superb.

Or maybe the curry eater confessed and the DVLA realized they were in the wrong. It happens.

ninestonecreature

valk_scot wrote: »

Best thread I've read in ages. How on earth can anyone get so upset about an easily replaceable piece of paper? Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, really.

Just a thought though...if I get out my marriage certificate, pour curry sauce over it and possibly even set fire to it in the garden, do you think my OH might take the hint and start packing his bags? Or (more likely for him) might he just eat it?

Not so easy really...we were married in New York and it's not quite the point. I also wasn't SO upset about it, I wasn't crying, screaming and wailing from the roof tops but I was angry and upset, which is my right. I also didn't come on here to get everyone to agree and sympathise with me (I know people have bigger fish to fry), I just wanted advice on what to do next, the whole point of this forum I thought...you know, to ask for and receive help.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, believe me I know but I do hold certain things dear to me, yes it's a piece of paper but it was precious to me regardless, that's not for you to determine (I'm starting to sound like a parrot).

My mum, when I was about 10 threw out 5 photograph albums of me, every single picture was me as a baby or toddler...most of which also had my dad in them, he died when I was 5. So I know there are some things in life that if damaged or lost are totally and utterly irreplaceable and are very very upsetting and I think that's maybe why I now put importance on silly things (and take TOO many picture of my own children now...lol), who know's, but I just hope that makes some of you realise I am not some hysterical deranged nut case who needs help because she's going over the top a little over a piece of paper. I have lost a LOT of things in my life so I guess that just naturally makes me a bit funny with things like that. * counselling sesh over*

I'm still amazed at how this thread turned out, not what I expected at all.....I guess there was something in the air that day.

ninestonecreature

Pollycat wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Wow! That's a result!
Especially as you said here:


and here:


that they were refusing to admit rsponsibility and you'd have to wait until Monday to speak to the woman who made the decision.

Either your charm :rolleyes: worked or the advice you got from the 'other' website was superb. :rotfl:

Not too sure what this is implying but I have a feeling it's not positive! Whatever anyway, I will take a guess and say they probably just wanted the matter to be over and done with, after speaking to me on the phone they will have realised I was not going to let it lie, and rightly so. Perhaps the woman I was meant to speaking to on Monday was actually in that day and didn't fancy having to deal with this and just told them to shut me up..I'm guessing you would go for that option!

Either way, as I said I'm happy that they're taking responsibility for this as they were to blame. It still leaves me with a curry stained smelly marriage certificate but as plenty of you have pointed out, it's not the end of the world...I'm a very lucky woman to have a very very good husband who I adore and three wonderful children so all is good. :j

asandwhen

Great thread ninestonecreature.

I was married in the states and it is very easy to get a replacement - We have had 2. They can be ordered over the internet (Well they can in Navada anyway).

From an independant I do think you may have over reacted in your earlier posts.

Pollycat

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Pollycat I was not referring to anyone in particular it was the general tone of the responses, there was one person I found very offensive on page 1,(not you as it happens), however if you think my comments can be aimed at you ( which they weren't in particular) then perhaps in future your responses should be self moderated.

If I felt that you had made a particularly offensive post and were to be singled out for comment then I would have done so, don't be paranoid.

patchwork cat
As other posters have already pointed out, if you read your post below, you do say 'you have ALL behaved in an appalling fashion'.

It doesn't matter whether you were referring to anyone in particular - 'ALL' means everybody - and that includes me.

So don't accuse me of being paranoid.
Your remark was addressed to everybody i.e. ALL who posted, even those who expressed sympathy with the OP.
How unfair have YOU been to those posters?
Maybe next time, you should use 'most'.

I replied to your post because I think the OP has been downright rude to me specifically with no reason and I'm not having you refer to my behaviour as 'appalling'.

patchwork_cat wrote: »

HAving just read the first page and start of second I really think that you have all behaved in an appalling fashion.

Where on earth did all this vitriol come from?

No in the great scheme of things this really isn't important and whilst I would complain in this instance I don't think I would be asking advice on a forum, however unless some of the OP's early comments have been deleted your attitudes are terrible .

Pollycat

cleo1299 wrote: »

Or maybe the curry eater confessed and the DVLA realized they were in the wrong. It happens.

Yes, it does happen and in this case it might have.

But if a large organisation had said that the person making a decision wasn't available until Monday (tomorrow), I'm surprised that they have made an about-turn.
It's called beaurocracy - and it rules in most large organisations.

Pollycat

ninestonecreature wrote: »

Not too sure what this is implying but I have a feeling it's not positive! Whatever anyway, I will take a guess and say they probably just wanted the matter to be over and done with, after speaking to me on the phone they will have realised I was not going to let it lie, and rightly so. Perhaps the woman I was meant to speaking to on Monday was actually in that day and didn't fancy having to deal with this and just told them to shut me up..I'm guessing you would go for that option!

Not too sure what this is implying but but I have a feeling it's not positive. :rolleyes:

And you're wrong.
If you're referring to a work situation, I would have dealt with the situation in a responsible manner, investigated the facts and dealt with it appropriately .
I would NOT under any circumstances have asked staff to lie for me and say I was out of the office.

If you're referring to me wanting to shut you up on this forum, then you're wrong again.
It's an open forum and as such you have exactly the same rights to post as I do.

cleo1299

Pollycat wrote: »

Not too sure what this is implying but but I have a feeling it's not positive. :rolleyes:

And you're wrong.
If you're referring to a work situation, I would have dealt with the situation in a responsible manner, investigated the facts and dealt with it appropriately .
I would NOT under any circumstances have asked staff to lie for me and say I was out of the office.

If you're referring to me wanting to shut you up on this forum, then you're wrong again.
It's an open forum and as such you have exactly the same rights to post as I do.

The way I read it, ninestonecreature was suggesting that you would probably go for the interpretation that the DVLA settled just to shut her up, rather than the interpretation that the DVLA settled when they realized that she would not let the matter lie.

Interpretation (b) casts ninestonecreature in a less favourable light than interpretation (a); hence ninestonecreature's deduction that (b) would be the interpretation that you, Pollycat, would go for.

olly300

ninestonecreature wrote: »

Not so easy really...we were married in New York and it's not quite the point. I also wasn't SO upset about it, I wasn't crying, screaming and wailing from the roof tops but I was angry and upset, which is my right. I also didn't come on here to get everyone to agree and sympathise with me (I know people have bigger fish to fry), I just wanted advice on what to do next, the whole point of this forum I thought...you know, to ask for and receive help.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, believe me I know but I do hold certain things dear to me, yes it's a piece of paper but it was precious to me regardless, that's not for you to determine (I'm starting to sound like a parrot).

Your reaction to the original posts was over the top as firstly people are not mind readers. (And yes I read the entire thread)

Secondly you were asked to clarify exactly what you wanted the DVLA to do as your posts were not clear and you were also told that you could get copies. Some of the posters who replied to you are seasoned posters who give good advice.

ninestonecreature wrote: »

My mum, when I was about 10 threw out 5 photograph albums of me, every single picture was me as a baby or toddler...most of which also had my dad in them, he died when I was 5. So I know there are some things in life that if damaged or lost are totally and utterly irreplaceable and are very very upsetting and I think that's maybe why I now put importance on silly things (and take TOO many picture of my own children now...lol), who know's, but I just hope that makes some of you realise I am not some hysterical deranged nut case who needs help because she's going over the top a little over a piece of paper. I have lost a LOT of things in my life so I guess that just naturally makes me a bit funny with things like that. * counselling sesh over*

I'm still amazed at how this thread turned out, not what I expected at all.....I guess there was something in the air that day.

As I stated above people are not mind readers they don't know what your mother did, and why things that seem bits of paper to them are important to you.

I've seen people cry over broken cups and stolen/broken costume jewellery that now dead family members had given to them even though the items are of no monetary value. And I won't let people use cups that dead family members gave to me for the same reason even though I have bits of china that are actually worth something.

This post puts it in context but next time you post, don't explain your thinking behind it and don't like the replies walk away for a few hours or a day until you calm down, then reply.

Pollycat

cleo1299 wrote: »

The way I read it, ninestonecreature was suggesting that you would probably go for the interpretation that the DVLA settled just to shut her up, rather than the interpretation that the DVLA settled when they realized that she would not let the matter lie.

Interpretation (b) casts ninestonecreature in a less favourable light than interpretation (a); hence ninestonecreature's deduction that (b) would be the interpretation that you, Pollycat, would go for.

cleo1299
As you say, the 'way I read it' - which just goes to show that the OP (as Olly300 points out below) doesn't really explain things very clearly - or as she prefers to put it

because I didn't WORD it exactly how you wanted me to

The fact that we both interpreted the OP's meaning totally differently proves that.

I view the OP in no light whatsoever - neither favourable or unfavourable.