Single and in Debt Part 3- The problem of surplus and excess women

Shoe_Gal

Hi BGB - good to see you back

eco

Morning all, just on the net entering comps and stuff, so I don't go out spending, watching Saturday morning kitchen always thought James Martin was good looking.
Firefox have you started looking for a new job or are you going to have a break from work? I keep thinking it could happen to me and I never seem to check what jobs are out there, cos I'm lazy, but also like you I'm sat in bed with the heating off, going to take the mutts out soon for a really long walk, I am determined I will save more next year and be a bit more frugal, trying to get into some better habits now.

Shoe_Gal

Hi Eco

James Martin has quite a fan club on here - brightens many a dull Saturday morning for me - although I never cook :rolleyes:

bathgatebuyer

Cheers everyone - especially Rosabernicia for the ultra dodgy hug!

Yeah, the money things have been going really well. Got a bonus at work last year (not budgetted for and definitely not expected in the present climate) which was able to get rid of all my last wee bits and pieces of debt. Fingers crossed something similar happens again this year (although not expecting anything after a tough year) and I may be able to put some into an ISA or something instead of just signing loads of cheques for credit card companies!!!! I was just soooo lucky as far as getting a bonus went.

On the whole being single front, it's been making me quite philosophical recently - a friend of mine has just divorced and has had a few months to get over it, and is now straight into another relationship with a really nice guy. As much as I"m happy for her, I'm not going to pretend there isn't a big bit of me saying, "Why her? What the hell is wrong with me?" Mind you, I've not been in a relationship for well over 15 yrs (I'm 33!) so not a feeling that's unknown to me!!!

Oh well, at least it means it's a relatively cheap Xmas again - Mum, grandparents and friend the only pressies I need to buy!!!!

Fire_Fox

eco wrote: »

Firefox have you started looking for a new job or are you going to have a break from work? I keep thinking it could happen to me and I never seem to check what jobs are out there, cos I'm lazy, but also like you I'm sat in bed with the heating off, going to take the mutts out soon for a really long walk, I am determined I will save more next year and be a bit more frugal, trying to get into some better habits now.

I am going to search for work but I won't be making the kind of efforts I made when I relocated to Bradford. Then I posted or hand-delivered thirty three CVs and covering letters, following up with a phone call or personal visit. Result was I had a written job offer the day I arrived at the Job Centre, yet they still expected me to apply for two jobs a week!! By that point I was out of ideas and only needed three weeks money to tide me over. Having just had three months off sick plus a year and a half off sick in the past it's not going to be the easiest thing to find work, but I will try as it's not right to claim benefits otherwise.

Hello and welcome back to Bathgatebuyer!

RosaBernicia

Sorry to hear about the job Fire Fox, but as you say at least you are prepared. I hope you find something that suits you and you enjoy.

Just a thought for you BGB - if you are feeling fed up with being single, is there anyone who could be a 'life coach' and help nag you into doing something about it? My new flatmate is being brilliant in this department - I am being told I have to prioritise my social life and dragged out to things and introduced to people, and given lots of positive pep talks... and I can't just claim I have to study and hide because he shares the house lol.

Well I am being v good today - remembered to stop a direct debit so £12 saved by free phone call, dropped off decluttered stuff to charity shop, now sorting out study files. I have just cancelled my charity direct debits, but got a thank-you letter from one of the local shops telling me how much my stuff had raised and it's already nearly as much as I was donating in a year so don't have to feel guilty any more now. (I signed up for Gift Aid and they track your donated items so that they can claim the extra tax back.)

Rosa xx

bathgatebuyer

Hi Rosa, well done on keeping donating to the charity shop - I love shopping in there as I often find that the things people throw away are better than my good things! I need to clear out the loft which I may do tomorrow.

I really think I have some sort of undiagnosed social syndrome or something as I really can't do the whole meeting people thing at all. I had my fingers burned a few times with trying to make friends and I ended up really withdrawing into myself. It's a bit of long story, but I ended up moving away after Uni and had something of a breakdown when I moved here. I've always been a bit of a loner, but had never experienced anything like that. The real crux of it was that I had just had enough of being lonely. I think that eve the strongest of people after a while look at themselves and say, "What's wrong with me?" as they see the rest of the world pairing up and finding yourself on your own.

The experience of trying internet dating was quite a cutting one - best photo of me up on match.com and a few witty lines and I got one contact in 6 months! The guy who did get in touch had - oh I can't actually put it in writing as it makes me sound really nasty - well, some 'learning difficulties'. It sounds bad saying that, but even he said he was known locally as 'Fast Eddie'.

I did meet a guy I had a massive crush on there and we had a few 'hey how are you - what you doing on here?' conversations and he was saying about how he had met this girl, that girl and wished me luck finding someone :rolleyes: Talk about take the hint, mate!

Does it sounds really bad that I struggle to be happy for mates when they meet someone? The majority of my friends are married, but the one person who had just split from her husband has recently started seeing someone else. And instead of being happy for her, my little green eyed monster has appeared and has just gone back to that whole, "So what the hell is wrong with me?" thing that happened many years back.

I always get really gloomy at this time of year what with all those people banging on about parties, pressies and New Year too Doesn't help living in Scotland where the New Year thing is massive. If anything, it just makes you feel like even more of a spare part when the rest of the City is jumping up and down and I'm in bed at 7 with earplugs in trying not to listen to parties going on!!!!

My miserable side has just resurfaced for a bit with the green eyed monster while I try and deal with a friend's good news of her new relationship. Makes me sounds really bitter, I know, but I just feel like I've got all this love I would like to share and give to someone, that it's really frustrating, not to mention soul-destroying that I feel I have much to give, but still noone wants it!

Blimey, what a long post!!! Glad I've got that off my chest, makes me feel quite good!

Shoe_Gal

Hi BGB

I understand a lot of what you are saying - especially about being a 'spare part' at Christmas :rolleyes:

I have been feeling 'gloomy' the last few weeks - and I truly hate New Year's Eve

Buffythedebtslayer

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Hi BGB

I understand a lot of what you are saying - especially about being a 'spare part' at Christmas :rolleyes:

I have been feeling 'gloomy' the last few weeks - and I truly hate New Year's Eve

Ditto.

xxxx

bathgatebuyer

Suppose we can look on the positive side with no significant other to feel we have to find that extra special pressie for - that's all money saved!!!

I think Xmas is truly a time for us singletons to get an extra boot in the chops from Smarrieds (smug marrieds as my friend calls them!)